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Monte Carlo Casino 




ELENORE 

or, LOVE'S CONQUEST 



A Rambling Serio-Comic 
Play-Novel 




By ALEXANDER R. FORDYCE 



COPYRIGHT, 1908, BY 
ALEXANDER R. FORDYCf 



ENTERED AT STATIONERS' HALL, LONDOK 

All Rights Reserved (\P( Yy 






LIBRARY of CONGRESS 
Two GcDies Received 

DEC 17 1908 

r\Copyriifnt Entry 
CLASS (X XXc. No. 
CO FY 3. 



PRINTED BY BRANT & BORDEN 
NEWARK, N. J. 






^ 






Let good and evil speak in every page 
And write in truth a record of the age. 



On earth the real, the false, the grave and gay 

Meet on the stage and play the same old way; 

Every day the same old story's told 

And fools and wise their loves and hates unfold. 

The ardent lover often comes to grief 

And punishment betimes o'ertakes the thief. 

Alexander R. Fordyce. 



ELENORE 



DRAMATIS PERSONS 



Elenore Stock well, American heiress. 

Catherine, Aunt to Blenore. 

Nancy Budd, American heiress. 

Mrs. Budd, Nancy's mother. 

Senator Mark Stockwele, Blenore's father — Capitalist. 

Senator Budd, Capitalist. 

Duke de Portofino, French nobleman. 

Prince de Mandelieu, his nephew, French nobleman. 

Lord Cashington, English nobleman. 

Senator Gamster, ubiquitous politician 

Assemblyman Johnson, widower. 

Horatio Millford, lover of Blenore. 

Michael, servant in Stockwell family. 

Rose, maid, in love with Michael. 

Countess de Blanc, \ 

Lady Wardell, V habitudes of Monte Carlo. 

GussiE Warthon, ) 

Carroty-White, an all-nighter. 

Dr. Benedict, the man without a creed. 

Detectives, servants and attendants. 




ELENORE 

or, Lovers Conquest 
ACT I. Scene 

MONTE CARLO CASINO. GAMBLING PALACE. 

Enter Lord Cashington. 

Cash. This is the palace where the card and wheel 
Make rich or poor by turn of cube and deal, — 
A palace where the rich oft run amuck, 
And where the poor make rich by stroke of luck. 
I'm here a poor though not a bankrupt lord ! 
ril try for best the tables can afford ; 
But, should I lose, I will not kill my brain, — 
I'll cross the seas an heiress to attain. 
For I will sue sweet Elenore Stockwell ; 
None other in this world I love so well. 
But should my suit proud Elenore deny, 
On Nancy Budd in faith I may rely. 
My rival being the Prince de Mandelieu, 
Success is sure at least between the two. 
'Tis hard to beat an Englishman in war ; 
A bride I'll win without a wound or scar. 



ELENORE 

Lord Cashington plays. 

Fifty francs I'll play on red. 
Good! I win five hundred! 

Now five hundred on the red — 
Twenty-five hundred I rake in ! 

Again twenty-five hundred on red — 
Twenty-five thousand I win ! 

Twenty-five thousand francs is now at stake ; — 
Let ten times twenty-five be now my rake. 
Oh ! Goddess Fortune, come to my relief, 
Of all thy favorite sons may I be chief ; 
My hands guide and my blind judgment steer 
That I may find my way to fortune clear. 

Now on the roulette wheel I'll try my luck ; 
Rich plums from out her whirligig I'll pluck. 
Drop floods of golden coin, ye ardent wheel, 
Fling mammoth fortune to me as ye reel. 

Goddess Fortune, again to thee I pray; 
Let thy sweet smile thy son enhance to-day. 
Thou knowest, sweet dame, I for a wife am 

fishing ; 
Oh ! condescend to lend thy richest blessing ! 

Oh ! I have lost all ! Lost all ! 

Base, false Fortune, wizened ugly witch. 

You led me on to fling me in the ditch ; 

Now here 'mong heartless strangers I am burst ! 

Here in your palace home be thou accurst. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 3 

Monte Carlo will pay my fare home ; 

I shall not return to England ; I'm going 

To the United States of America. 

I'll hop, step and jump into a rich 

United state, or foul, or fair, or false. 

Made two in one if that were possible. 

With a rich incomprehensible ! 

I have a name that towers above riches ; 

An English lord may ride in any saddle; 

A good name is much to be desired ; 

A noble name is incomparable. 

The world now frowns on me through fortune's 

wiles. 
But I'm no stranger to her frowns or smiles. 

Let me see — 

Countess de Blanc is here playing and winning ; 

And Lady Wardell, — I have loaned her money; 

And coy Gussie Warthon, a dear old standby — 

I have before had dealings with them all. 

My notes are good, have never been protested 

Since I attained the rightful age to manage 

My estates; previous to that 

I was not responsible. No matter ; 

Old debts are outlawed. Honor's a fool ; 

Countess de Blanc might be my grandmother, 

But round her heart there is yet a soft spot 

Although 'tis hedged with the emblems royal 

Of artificial France. But she looks youthful ; 

Her face suffused in the mellow light 

That flashes in the rain of golden coin. 

She's well made up, busked as a lure; 



4 ELENORE 

Stylish costume, false fixings, generous paint 
Adorn the carnival of fortune's accidents; 
Noble scions of an artificial age. 
But here we are all factors in the throng 
Where we must blend and move with it along. 

ril now approach the Countess de Blanc. 
Countess de Blanc, you've always been so kind ; 
Assistance you have offered me betimes 
When I did not require it, yet I did thank you. 
Of funds available I am out-played ; 
Of course you know my tender love of you. 
I want to borrow five thousand francs. 

Countess. 'Tis rare you recognize Countess de Blanc ; 
You do not even to her raise your hat. 
But looking the other way, you pass her by. 
Now you crave favors and speak words of love 
When you are embarrassed. 

Cash. I love you, darling; in your sweet company 

I am always happy. 
Countess. That's what you always say. 
Cash. If ever I strike luck again in this 

Queer world, I'll make you my sweet wife. 

Mark not those slights, you know I am short 
sighted ; 

Some day 'twill all be well, my dear Countess. 
Countess. Make out your note and have it well en- 
dorsed 

By acceptable and responsible party. 
Cash. Never before, most gracious lady, have you 

Requested other than my signature. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 5 

Pray do not doubt my honor nor ability 

To meet demands when due. 
Countess. The note please make collectible at the 

Office of the factor of your estates 

In England, in case of accident. 
Cash. I shall do so, my dear Countess de Blanc ; 

But make the amount ten thousand francs be- 
cause 

A letter I received by this day's mail 

To sail at once for the United States, 

Where I have large and lucrative interests, 

The which prospectively run high into 

The millions and they, my brokers state, require 

My personal attention. 
Countess. I'll make the loan ten thousand francs, my 
lord; 

Make out the note and call at seven. 
Cash. Accept as many thanks as there are centimes 

In the total. You are most generous. 

I shall be there; adieu till then. 

What would Monte Carlo do without 

A Woman's Aid Society? Poor dears, 

A tender spot they all have when you find it. 

My luck may fail, but my resources never. 

ril now bombard the affections of Lady Wardell. 

A moment of your time between the games. 

Sweet Lady Wardell, will you bestow ? 
Lady. With pleasure. Lord Cashington. In luck, I 

hope? 
Cash. Quite contrary, I am all uncrested; 

I have lost all ; now I desire to borrow 



6 ELENORE 

Five thousand francs. I start this evening 
For America on business which 
Demands- my personal attention. My wealth, 
Prospectively, will round up many millions. 

Lady. Indeed ! You are in luck prospectively — 
Hope's visions are prospective. 

Cash, My American brokers sent me word 

To sail at once and learn to my advantage 
Of a rich strike upon my property. 

Lady. But you have not returned my former loan ! 

Cash. The amount is insignificant ; you know 
My resources are numerous and large; 
Besides, I have the confidence of a 
Beautiful young heiress in New York, 
Whose father is a multi-millionaire. 

Lady. Make your note seven thousand and five 
hundred ; 
That will repay my former loan to you. 

Cash. Many thanks, and may the Goddess Fortune 
Ever attend your ladyship. This evening 
I leave Monte Carlo for New York. 

Lady. Lord Cashington, I merely play the game 

As a pastime. My luck of late's been signal. 

Each day the golden crested tide rolls in — 

I've won to date five hundred thousand francs. 

Cash. Every day I played; at first I won. 

But all was lost before the day was done. 
Although most strenuously I pray'd Fortune. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 7 

Lady. Fortune's blind and dumb. Stop praying her aid, 
And then your luck may change. Adieu. 

Cash. Gussie Warthon's an old sweetheart of mine, 
A generous soul, an entertaining creature. 
With all the instincts of a professional gambler ; 
Always ahead o' the game. What harm in 

gambling 
At Monte Carlo with one's own capital ? 
In America great financiers 
And great financial institutions gamble 
With the people's money and property 
Illegally, without consulting them. 
The most repugnant and degrading system 
In the world is the "Tip" system. Hotel 
Proprietors pay their servants almost nothing, 
But fling them on a public game of chance, 
Making men and women menials 
And beggars, in a fashionable way. 
Pardon the interruption, dear Miss Warthon, 
But I am in trouble. 

Gussie. Whatsis the trouble, my dear Lord Cashington? 
What can I do for you? 

Cash. Broke again, my dear! And I desire 

To borrow five thousand francs. I am the owner 
Of millions, but cannot reach them. 

Gussie. The same old story, my noble Cashington ; 

Your song reminds me of the Italian beggar's — 
It bears the perfume of the sanctuary. 

Cash. Your temper's pungent to-day, my darling Gussie ; 
Remark more caustic never passed your lips. 



8 ELENORE 

What have I done amiss except to love you ? 
Pray do explain ! 

Gussie. I meant nothing, 'twas but a fit of humor. 

Ten thousand francs ? Give me your I. O. U. ; 
Pay me back when you are ready. 

Cash. I thank you, darling, for you are ever kind ; 
Let us walk over to the stand and hear 
The Hungarian orchestra roll out 
Some famous music, and see how they transfer 
Their souls into their instruments. 

Gussie. Agreed, my noble lord. Then we will to 
The bar, and there refresh our spirits. 

Cash. Brandy and soda would not go badly down, 
Annexed therewith some cigarettes. 

Gussie. Then you will come and dine with me, and I 
Will see you on the train. 
When do you return ? 

Cash. I shall be gone in all about three months ; 
Hope to return a multi-millionaire. 
You are so kind ; I can't help loving you. 

Gussie. You are, my noble lord, a king of hearts ; 

I love you dearly ; don't forget your promises, 
Especially your promissory notes — 
Your I. O. U's. 

Bxeunt. 



LOVES CONQUEST 



Scene 

THE SENATOR BUDD MANSION, WASHINGTON, D. C. 

Servant. Miss Budd, telephone call. 

Nancy. Hello! Who calls? 

Prince. This is the Prince de Mandelieu. 
Is this Miss Budd? 

Nancy. This is Miss Budd ! Good morning, Mandelieu. 

Prince. Miss Budd, may I call within an hour? 

Nancy. Yes! Come at once, for I am now preparing 
to start on an automobile outing. Come with 
us; perhaps it may recall the pleasant trips 
along the Riviera last year. We have many 
interesting drives about Washington. 

Prince. I shall leave immediately and will be with you 
in less than half an hour. I have news of 
great importance to communicate. 

Nancy. I will wait for you. Prince de Mandelieu. 
Bnter Servant. 

Serv. Miss Budd, a cablegram from Monte Carlo. 

Nancy. From Monte Carlo? 

Serv. Yes, ma'am! 

Nancy. Will land New York, fast steamer, few days. 
Will start for Washington following day. 
Hope to find you home. — Cashington. 



10 ELENORE 

Strange coincidence — Lord Cashington 
And Prince de Mandelieu were rivals for 
The hand of Elenore Stockwell, and I 
With all the powers in me could not divert 
Either's attention aside from her; but now 
Both lord and prince come unsolicited. 
They've been repulsed or snubbed by Elenore! 
I warrant they met a cloud-burst or an iceberg. 
Elenore is haughty and independent, 
Though playful and innocent as a sweet child, 
ril wait development ; had I my choice, 
England would I prefer to subtle France, 
For there I feel at home, although of course 
The Prince de Mandelieu is handsome and owns 
Large estates in France and Italy. 

Enter Servant. 

Serv. Miss Budd, the Prince de Mandelieu. 

Nancy. Admit the Prince. 

Enter Prince de Mandelieu. 
Prince. So glad to meet with you again, Miss Budd. 

Nancy. And I indeed am glad to meet the Prince. 
How is your uncle, the Duke de Portofino? 

Prince. Thanks, the Duke is well, but very busy 
Collecting material for a book on social 
And political conditions in the States. 

Nancy. Oh! How I did enjoy beautiful France. I 
returned only yesterday from a southern trip 
and found on my arrival a card from Elenore 
and her Aunt Catherine. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST ii 

Prince. The Duke de Portofino and I called at the 
hotel and we dined together and spent a 
pleasant evening. Do you intend to visit 
France next winter? 

Nancy. This year we may go to the West Indies, or 
perhaps Central America and Mexico. 

Prince. Excuse the compliment, my dear Miss Budd, 
But you have much improved since then; 
The pink and rose sit smiling on your cheek, 
And your sweet lips more tempting when you 
speak. 

Nancy. Thanks, dear Prince, I trust they do not burn. 
Hast heard from Elenore since her return? 

Prince. I have not heard since she left Washington. 
We accompanied them to Baltimore. 

Nancy. I used to think, dear Prince, that Portofino 

and Aunt Catherine were more than friendly. 

Prince. I have thought so myself ; they are of an age. 
'Tis strange the Duke never paid court before 
to any. There may have sprung some mutual 
attachment; it is quite natural. 

Nancy. And quite innocent and excusable. Catherine 
has long been classed a spinster who let her 
opportunity slip by because of her love for 
her brother and her niece, Elenore. 

Prince. "Better late than never!" Neither the Duke 
nor Catherine have passed their sixtieth year 
and both are very good looking. 



12 ELENORE 

Nancy. I shall never forget the day the Duke sent 
Catherine a coiffeur and a manicure. The 
hair dresser wanted her to buy a modern wig, 
and the manicure wanted to sell her a patent 
nail bleacher. Both claimed Aunt Catherine 
would look at least full twenty years younger. 

Prince. What said Aunt Catherine? 

Nancy. Oh, she replied in her sardonic style, "These 
artificials might cloud my real identity. I 
always have been honest and always want to 
have the satisfaction of every day identifying 
myself." 

Prince. That sounds like Catherine. Her hair is beau- 
tiful, her teeth like maiden pearl, her nails 
perfect. What did she hit against ? 

Nancy. A Frenchman or a Yankee, I'm not sure. 
Maybe a graduate of a French hotel. And 
then they offered to sell her the secret of their 
business for ten thousand dollars. 

Prince. Then what did Catherine say or do? 

Nancy. She said, "I have a bull dog in the closet." 
Then you should have seen them run without 
the modern wig or the nail bleacher. And 
as they ran Catherine threatened to send the 
Duke to chase them down to the Pantheon. 

Prince. An episode indeed worth witnessing. 

Nancy. To Elenore alone you did reveal your secrets? 
Like our corporations she enjoyed "Special 
Rights" to the Prince's treasury. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 13 

Prince. All my fair friends I treat the same; always 
with that respect and courtesy due the sex. 
I never yet made any overtures by way of 
matrimony; but now the question thrusts 
itself most strenuously on me. That is what 
brought me here. When have you seen or 
heard from Cashington ? affairs seemed mut- 
ual between you. 

Nancy. Most strange coincidence. This very day I 
received a cablegram from him which was 
dated at Monte Carlo. He's on his way to the 
United States. Bon voyage, Lord Cashington. 
You are a gentleman of noble birth and gener- 
ous disposition, a nobleman of influence and 
distinguished position. 

Prince. Something serious is going to happen! The 
last I saw of his noble lordship was at 
Monte Carlo, dead broke. He sent to Eng- 
land for a small remittance. Begged of me a 
loan, but his credit's bad ; no hotel will trust 
him because he will not pay the "Ordinary 
Tips." 

Nancy. That is a fabrication of your brain. 

Prince. His credit stands at zero; he sponges on his 
friends and boasts a large estate in England 
and lucrative American investments. Pros- 
pectively he is always rich; they're centered 
in his mind like some inventors. 

Nancy. Dear Mandelieu, you are entirely wrong, for 
I have met several who know him well, and 



14 ELENORE 

they all say he is guilty of concealing his 
wealth in order to evade the tax collector, the 
same as many shrewd wealthy men do in 
these United States. His misfortune consists 
in not having a wife. He is a gentleman, 
considerate of women, has traveled round 
the globe; there is no end to his wealth, his 
character and judgment. 

Prince. I've marked him down as a conceited fool; 
many titled Englishmen have small respect 
for women — they are of Henry's brand. 

Nancy. Your observations are false, Prince Mandelieu ; 
''The shoe is on the other foot." Men are all 
about the same; some are born morally 
oblique, others all the powers of evil cannot 
degrade. Lord Cashington is a gentleman! 

Prince. When he has money, Cashington is good; he 
treats all the women round the Casino, but he 
is as often out of his wits as with them. Of 
course, the fellow is always humorous, but 
he is the biggest liar in the world. In that 
especial quality he floats on the timbers of his 
imagination. He's like a Newfoundland Gov- 
ernor who hardly knew just when he told the 
truth, but every lie or its equivalent was fol- 
lowed by a prayer, pleading for purification. 
I heard the story at the club the other night. 

Nancy. I heard a similar story of a New Jersey Gov- 
ernor who had two cock eyes ; he winked out 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 15 

of one eye and prayed out of the other. He 
was always looking both ways as he stood on 
the highest pinnacle of the fence. Perhaps the 
Prince de Mandelieu himself is bobbing 
up and down like an imaginative bubble on 
the ocean of his own fancy and steering obli- 
quely of the truth. 

Prince. My dear Miss Budd, of that inheritance you 
know I am deprived, but let us change the 
subject. 

Nancy. I think well of your suggestion ; I find ghouls 
in every cemetery, even in the Pantheon and 
the Abbey. 

Prince. Father and mother at home? 

Nan€y. Father and mother are on a Western trip; I 
did expect them home this noon. Father is 
largely interested in street railways, in lumber, 
iron and coal properties; a stockholder and 
director in several trust and life insurance 
companies — always busy. Father works too 
hard at his time of life. Methinks he should 
retire and rest. 

Prince. French and Italian noblemen retire early in 
life in order to enjoy the sweets in life's 
meridian. Your father must be wealthy ? 

Nancy. I never inquire into my father's business, that 
he transacts in his counting house; he does 
not worry his family with his business. Fve 
heard he's many times a millionaire. But 



i6 ELENORE 

now-a-days, you know, a man may be wealthy 
to-day and poor to-morrow. 

Prince. Miss Budd, I am the owner of very lucrative 
estates in France and Italy. The original of 
our Coat o' Arms was found in the Foro 
triangolare in the ruins of Pompeii. 

Nancy. Wonderful resurrection! 

Prince. I also will inherit all the estates of my uncle, 
the Duke de Portofino. I intend returning 
home with an American lady of wealth and 
accomplishment. I love American women, 
not alone for wealth, but for their intrinsic 
beauty and disposition. All life's essential 
comforts I possess and lack but one, my dear 
Miss Budd. If you are not betrothed, I tender 
you the hand and heart of Prince de Man- 
delieu. 

Nancy. I like your estate and your ''Coat o' Arms," 
but I hear the sheep bleating on the Alps, and 
feel lonely! Rocks are not riches, although 
they may have the strength of Gibraltar! 
Dear Prince, you are in love with Elenore — 
at least, it's so reported. 

Prince. Of such report I am ignorant, for Elenore has 
always seemed indifferent to my advances. 
I would not wed a woman who does not 
love me. 

Nancy. I cannot blame you. Prince de Mandelieu ; 
Sans love, sans happiness, vive la divorce. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 17 

Prince. Your unique personality, my dear Miss Budd, 
Has so impressed herself upon my soul 
Methinks you are my sweet affinity. 
Can you love me, darling idol? 

Nancy. Love is not a forcing commodity like 
A cabbage or other plant. Never before 
Have you even intimated your love. 

Prince. Vesuvius keeps his fires within his breast; 
You see the smoke betimes ascend and like 
A vapor float into the upper sky ; 
But whether 'tis his vapors or the Sun's 
You are in doubt. But the fire is there 
Within his tormented breast. 

Nancy. Mayhap the smoke of skeletons long buried 
In his vitriolic breast. 

Prince. Let not indiflFerence poison your sweet soul, — 
A worthy prince now begs to be admitted ; 
Bar not the door upon love's ardent pleadings, 
Open and let him in. Oh, say you will 
Be mine, sweet Nancy Budd ! 

Nancy. Dear Prince de Mandelieu, I will submit 
Your proposition to my mother on her 
Return, and will be guided by her judgment. 
It is a mother's duty to advise 
Her daughter, and it is a daughter's duty 
To be guided by her mother, at least. 
In all the serious affairs of love. 

Prince. One hundred invitations I received, 

All in one week, from heirs to millions ; 



t8 ELENORE 

And chiefly from the ladies' mothers! 
Think'st will your mother give consent? 

Nancy. She will, if I am fully satisfied. 

But I am not convinced in my mind 
That such a step would lead to happiness. 
The fashionable road to matrimony 
Is critical, — like climbing up a tree 
Whose branches are brittle. 

Prince. Soon would you climb into love's regal seat! 
You won't forget to enter my proposal 
Upon your father and mother's return, when we 
Might formulate a contract. 

Nancy. When love accompanies the contract, dear 
Prince, 
Title and money blend fairly. I shall acquaint 
Both of your purpose when they return. 

Prince. Question not my love, sweet Nancy Budd, 
For I was born to love, and fashion'd for 
The age; soon we will teach each other how 
To love; the task is sweet. 
When shall I hear from you? 

Nancy. I will either write or 'phone you. 

Adieu, dear Prince, I trust we may land safely ! 

Bxeimt Prince and Nancy. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 19 



Scene 

SENATOR STOCKWELL'S MANSION, NEW YORK. 

Michael, an old servant of the Stockwell family, seeks 
admission at the service door. 

Michael. It's only when we have been on the Continent 
that we discover what a glorious country the 
United States of America is ! I will never 
leave Senator Stockwell's family as long as 
I live, if they will take me back ! I have been 
in the employ of the Emperor of the Hotten- 
tots and the Congos, and served in the best 
hotels in France and Italy, and at the dag- 
ger's point, and at my wit's points held up the 
guests for ''Tips." Ever since I left the 
family in Nice, I have existed on ''Tips" 
and have fed on crumbs. I like America, be- 
cause men and women are paid for their ser- 
vices by their employers, and are appreciated 
for the quality of their services. Oh ! I hope 
Rosie will answer the bell. Dear little Rose, 
she is so kind. A strange nervous stupor 
quite overcomes me ! What can it be ? I 
never taste rum ! I feel dizzy, like a horse 
with blind staggers. Michael's no longer in- 
dependent. "To beg, I am ashamed." Dis- 
graced! No freeborn man can exist on 
"Tips." Michael's a slave, a fashionable beg- 
gar, sick and sore at heart. I am ashamed 
to ring the old familiar bell, but I will ring 
for Rosie if I drop dead! Ring, ring, come 



20 ELENORE 

Rose, Michael's a beggar, the victim of a vile 

system. 

Rose. John, the service bell has rung several times. 
Answer it immediately. It may be the dry 
goods delivery with Aunt Catherine's or 
Elenore's purchases. 

John. Miss Rose, I have answered. It looks like a 
drunken loafer lying down on the doorstep. 
Perhaps I ought to send for a policeman. 

Rose. Do nothing of the sort. The man may be sick ; 
all unfortunates are not drunken loafers. 
There are honest beggars, more than people 
think ! Oh ! I had a dream ; my heart quick- 
ens her pace; misfortune comes when we 
least expect it ! Now, what does he look like ? 

John. He is young and very good looking; unlike 
a confirmed tough. 

Rose. There's little charity in the world when sifted. 
Much of it is for blazoning effect; there is 
none in a police station. Young and good 
looking men are not beggars from choice, but 
by compulsion. I'll run and see for myself. 
Oh! Michael! Poor dear Michael! All the 
way from the Continent of Europe, where he 
preferred to stay instead of returning home 
with us last year. 

Michael. Rose, I am a beggar, a mendicant. But it 
is no fault of mine, it's my misfortune. It 
is the system, and I am but a beggar. I 
never was taught to beg or steal. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 21 

Rose^ I found your bank book among the things you 
left with me to mend, and I put it away 
for you. 

Michael I thought it might be lost, dear kind Rose. 
If only I can get back, I'll never leave you 
nor the fam.ily again! 

Rose. Your name is written on the bank book, and 
you are not a beggar, Michael. Cheer up, 
dear boy, there's a good time coming. How 
fortunate ! The Hungarian butler got drunk 
last night and was discharged, and now the 
place is vacant. Miss Catherine advertised 
in this morning's paper, but no answers yet. 
She spoke of you this morning and wished 
you were here. At once I shall inform her 
of your arrival. 

There's a Providence that leads us kindly ; 
A power beyond that leads us blindly. 
When at the climax, we do see 
The reason why it had to be. 

Michael. No question about the Providence, Rose, but 
it is the habit of human nature to take the 
credit. 

Hxeunt Rose and Michael. 



22 ELENORE 

Scene 

ROOM IN STOCKWELL MANSION. 

Rose. Miss Stockwell, Michael has answered your 
advertisement. He came to the service door 
and was about to leave when I prevented and 
made him wait and see you because you spoke 
of him this morning. He desires to return if 
you deem him worthy. 

Cafh. How fortunate, Rose; only last night Senator 
Stockwell mentioned his name. He has not 
acquired the drinking habit, I hope? John 
told me there was a drunken man at the door 
a short time ago. 

Rose. Miss Stockwell, Michael has no evil habits; 
he feels sorry for man or woman who over 
indulges in wine. 

Cath. I will see him and engage his services at once. 
Admit him. 

Rose. Miss Stockwell, he looks pitiful and his humor 
has all gone; the mirthful twinkle in his 
deep blue eye has vanished, and he looks ten 
years older, dejected and forlorn. 

Enter Michael. 

Cath. Michael, I am greatly surprised, and also 
glad to see you back, although I presume you 
were sorry to leave France. What is your 
trouble, Michael? 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 2^ 

Mich. My trouble, Miss Stockwell, is now past. I 
was ravenously homesick, and have traveled 
night and day to reach home. I even found 
fault with the ship because she could not fly, 
although I never was so happy as when I set 
my foot on her deck. If you take me back, 
I will never leave you. 

Cath. I am glad you arrived at the opportune moment, 
You are now engaged, and Senator Stockwell 
will make arrangements about wages. 

Mich. Thanks, Miss Catherine; any remuneration will 
be satisfactory after living on "Tips." 

Exeunt Michael and Rose. 

Bnter messenger with special delivery letter. Hands 
it to Catherine. She opens it and reads: 

Ever dear Miss Catherine Stockwell: — In 
my soul I thank you over and over again, 
and yet again for your Washington visit, the 
perfume of ivhich lingers in the sacred pre- 
cincts of my heart. I have been dreaming of 
it ever since, and my dull existence is relieved 
by the many pleasant recollections of it. The 
Prince de Mandelieu and myself propose a 
Hying trip to New York. Please notify me 
by return special delivery, if it will be con- 
venient and desirable in your judgment to 
have us call. If so, we will defer our South- 
em trip to be with you. With love, 

Due de PortoHno, 

Washington, D. C 



24 ELENORE 

Cath. I shall answer at once. 

My dear Due de PortoHno: — / was over- 
joyed on receiving your letter. It came to 
me like the honeyed exhalations of precious 
■flowers when they have reveled in the dews 
of night, and are ascending the western slopes 
of the Alpes-Maritimes, in their Hight hack to 
the source of their life. The visit of yourself 
and Mandelieu will be esteemed for more 
reasons than one. Blenore and myself have 
fond remembrances, and we desire in some 
measure to repay your kindness. You write 
of pleasant recollections ; they are to me a 
most comforting elixir. It is my constant 
desire to return and spend next winter in the 
south of France and Italy. Inform us of 
your visit one day ahead. 

Catherine Stockwell. 

Catherine alone. 
The Duke de Portofino is the sweetest 
gentleman I ever knew, and now I know he 
loves me! I often thought he flattered me 
after the manner of Frenchmen generally, 
which is a national characteristic, especially 
toward women. But now I feel the touch of 
love, and so far as I am concerned, our sweet 
romance is mutual. Widower Johnson I will 
now discharge; never again alone will I 
abide his company. For a suitable reception 
we will provide, and it shall be "informal" but 
in keeping with the rank and title of the Duke 



LOVES CONQUEST 25 

and Prince. Prince de Mandelieu would be 
an excellent match for my beautiful niece, 
Elenore ! I will address and mail this letter, 
personally. 

Exit Catherine. 

Enter special messenger with letter for Elenore from 
Lord Cashington. 
Enter Elenore and reads. 
My dear Elenore Stockwell: — Pardon the 
liberty I enjoy in sending you notice of my 
arrival. I am on a business trip South and 
West where I have very large interests, chief- 
ly in mining and other valuable properties, 
and I shall take the liberty of calling at your 
home in order to renew our old acquaintance 
and moreover establish a more devoted friend- 
ship. During the voyage my thoughts often 
reverted to the pleasant diversions and sweet 
memories of Nice, especially during the Carni- 
val. You have not, I trust, forgotten your 
friend. I have of late been quite successful 
in my business ventures; money came float- 
ing in with every tide. I propose to stay a 
month or longer in order to settle my business 
affairs, and then to visit Canada, returning to 
England in time for the races. We shall, I 
know, enjoy a pleasant moment's chat. In 
haste. Cashington. 

Elenore alone. 

Elen, In the main, the English aristocracy are the 
most dignified and delightful people on earth. 



26 ELENORE 

They are perhaps the most substantial ele- 
ment in the social world, free from affecta- 
tion and the exotic element in mankind. 
About one-third the human race are born 
askew, and no power on earth can make them 
straight, nor disinfectant purify the mind nor 
kill the parasite. It seems to be the will of 
Nature for some purpose. Nature as a whole 
is like a diamond incased in dirt; scrape off 
the rubbish, find the gem. The spirit of 
Nature's pure, but like a pirate ship she 
carries an interesting cargo. A rotten heart- 
ed tree sends forth beautiful blossoms, but 
alas ! the fruit thereof is bitter. I shall ac- 
quaint my Aunt Catherine and be prepared to 
receive this noble scion of ancient worth. 
Exit Blenore. 

Lord Cashington rings door bell and hands a note to 
servant. 

Cash. Vm on the threshold of success or defeat. 
I stand upon an isle round which the tides 
Do circulate; I miss it in the East — 
As it returns Til catch it in the West. 
The kingdoms of this world were captured, 
And then subdued by bold adventurers. 
The world civilized is being exploited 
By adventurers, each moving within 
The environments of his own kingdom, and all 
Pursue the craft of fishermen, and every 
Means is justified to attain the end. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 27 

All prey is legitimate ! So screamed 

The eagle and roar'd the lion, centuries ago. 

World's wealth ! And what is wealth ? Where 

Does it come and go? 

I must now breast the tide ; women to me 

Are all alike, some better looking than others, 

Perhaps more entertaining, but gold's the theme. 

America was discovered by adventurers, 

And all pursue the craft of fishermen, 

And fish with crib, and net, and lure, and line. 

The wealth and beauty of the world is in 

American womanhood ! But beauty's slave 

To title ! Conquest splendid, wealth to title ! 

Harmless exploitation, I will capture 

The richest prize of sea or land, sweet Elenore ! 

If Elenore were chaste as Artemis, 

She'll yield to Cashington. 

Serv. Note from gentleman, Miss Stockwell. 

Catherine reads: 
Lord Cashington of England desires to see 
Miss Catherine Stockwell. 

Cath. Goodness, gracious! I thought we had seen 
the last of Lord Cashington! He did annoy 
me so at Nice; he is like much of the 
bad coin they pass in France and Italy. I 
could hardly be civil to him. He professed 
his love for Elenore, but I knew he chased 
after Nancy Budd. Cashington's an illesive 
sort of chap whose head should be taken 
measurement of, perhaps for the good of 



28 ELENORE 

society. To be sure it is quite an aristocratic 
head, and there's brains in it, but of their 
nature I am puzzled. The form of his skull 
is more that of a French count's than an 
Englishman's. I question whether he is a 
real English lord. I am in serious doubt. 
Maybe a charlatan. Jane, let him enter. 

Enter Lord Cashington. 
He strides gallantly over to Aunt Catherine and en- 
deavors to kiss her. 
Cath, Kissing's a breach of etiquette in America; 
our bacteriologists have placed the ban on it 
because it engenders disease of body and 
mind. It is a curious antic, anyhow. 

Cash. The right o' way to this sweet curio 

Has been disputed ever since maiden blush'd. 
Generally the right has been conceded! 
Surely the ban will not affect its practice 
As long as hot blood flows in human veins. 
So glad am I at meeting you again! 
Youth has anew ingraft herself on you. 

Cath. I had no thought of meeting you again ; 

I'm both surprised and glad at meeting you! 

Cash. Wer't not our inequality of age, 

There is so much real beauty in your face 
That a successful rival you might be 
To Elenore, your admirable niece. 

Cath. It feels the wind was blowing from the South ; 
The day is dull it doesn't blow from some 
mouth. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 29 

Cash. Did I not feel an interloper thrusting 

My affections on a most generous creature, 
I would sue for both your heart and hand ; 
But I know the tenderness existing 
In Portofino's soul, and do surmise 
It may be reciprocal. 

Cath. The Duke de Portofino's a dear friend, 
A gentleman of dignity and worth. 
Did I not comprehend your case, my lord, 
I would suggest you see Bertillon. 

Cash. 'Tis curious women take offense at me 

For no other cause than that I love them. 
This horrid thing of pique I do detest; 
'Tis dangerous for men now to be honest ! 
The truth I always speak though often doubted. 
It is unfair in woman! 

Cath. Lord Cashington, I did not mean to slight 
Your genuine character, but some have now 
Two sections to their brain, and then betimes 
One section runs away with the other section 
Into the land o' moral oblivion ; 
Then they, of course, are not responsible ! 

Cash. I care not what you say, Miss Catherine ; 
I always say my prayers before I sleep; 
I am not jealous of the Duke, but should 
A breach occur, and should Elenore 
Reject my suit, would you, my dear, consider 
Lord Cashington, should I fling him at 
Your feet? This secret lock in your beloved 
Bosom; age is nothing; wedlock's elysium 
Is centered in the mind ! 



;3o ELENORE 

Cath. Neither consent nor yet consideration 
Can I bestow upon your proposition. 
Some oldish women, I grant, do Hke young men, 
But I believe equality in everything 
Is wedlock's elysium ! 

Cash. And since you now reject my overtures, 
Will you subscribe your friendly offices 
In my behalf with your devoted niece? 
In your opinion I grant you may be right ; 
Nature's intentions could we but understand 
And follow, we'd reach the mean of happiness; 
Then speculative philosophy, discard! 
Elenore, methinks, was made for me, 
And I for her. Equalities are even — 
She is wealthy, and I am rich in title. 

Cath. You cannot surely love both aunt and niece, 
Lord Cashington. 

Cash. Your equality argument changed 

Love's current entirely ! I do now see my error ; 
My mind is ever open to conviction. 
Never was more substantial plea advanced 
In favor of restoring pristine happiness 
And deliverance from social slavery, 
And black-tongued divorce. 

Cath. What has equality or happiness 
To do with wealth and title? 

Cash. Love is the bridge which joins inheritance ! 

Cath. The bridge leads from the Doge's Palace to 
prison, 



LOVES CONQUEST '31 

The Bridge of Sighs. It has been cobbled often ; 
The constant tread of folly's votaries 
Have worn the pavement and made it dangerous 
To pass over, but fools will be fools anywhere. 
Elenore, you'll have to see yourself. 

Cash. Catherine, I mean no undue influence, 
But speak fairly of my worth to her ; 
Tell her I am not an adventurer, — 
That I am pliant and will be led by her. 
You know her inmost nature, and she will listen 
To what you say in confidence. Will you, 
My dear Miss Stockwell, do that for me? 

Cath. My lord, Fll speak no ill of you to her ; 
But Elenore is highly independent. 
And may prefer the Prince de Mandelieu. 

Cash. Catherine, accept this token of my love ; 

This ring was worn often by Queen Bess ; 
A cherished, ancestral heirloom. 

Cath. I cannot accept that precious heirloom; 

Those things increase in value as time rolls on. 
'Tis strange a living man or horse when he 
Grows old depreciates in value, but that 
Antique ring, because it's ugly and old 
Grows priceless ! Verily the ways of the 
Junk dealer are incomprehensible ! 
My lord, I thank you for the priceless tender. 
To you 'tis precious because it is ancestral, 
To me 'twould be like an empty pearl shell. 

Cash. May I depend on your good offices 

In my behalf? for I must be successful. 



32 ELENORE 

Cath. I promise I shall not oppose your suit, 
Lord Cashington. 

Cash. In England I own very large estates, 

And will be making heavy sacrifice. 

What think'st will be the value of the contract? 
Cath. Elenore will at her father's death 

Inherit most of his estate, her brother 

Has been disinherited because 

Of his marriage 'gainst his father's will. 

She will be heir to millions, and will be 

The richest woman in America. 

Cash. I meant the marriage settlement on her. 
The marriage contract, don't you know ? 

Cath. I think my brother would order any man 
To leave his house, never again to enter. 
Whoever names such mercenary device. 

Cash. It is not mercenary ; it is the usage 
Of the most noble families in Europe. 
It is worth a fortune to take the risk 
And charge of bringing anyone's daughter 
Into society, and placing her 
In touch with the elite of the earth ! 

Cath. You cannot reach the affections of my niece 
Through that medium ; that is, if I know her. 
The Prince de Mandelieu has now advanced 
His suit to the borderland of matrimony. 

Cash. The blood of the nobility of many 

Nations and races of mankind mingles 
In my veins ; mixed blood breeds romance. 



LOyE*S CONQUEST 33 

Cath. I wonder the blend does not rupture your veins ! 
Surely we have heard enough of late 
About the noble deeds of the nobility, 
Especially in the field of matrimony, 
The roots from which those noble scions sprang 
Must have had some canker in them. 

Cash. The matrimonial ruptures you refer to 

Were chiefly caused by the inferior blood 
Imported from the rich United States; 
But your ancestors, as far as I understand, 
Are of gentle stock like Washington. 

Cath. Now must I leave; will summon Elenore. 
Michael ! 

Enter Rose. 

Rose. Michael has gone somewhere by order of 
Senator Stockwell, ma*am. 

Cath. Rose, please inform Miss Elenore 

Lord Cashington is on his way to Washington, 
And desires to speak with her before he leaves. 

Rose. Yes, ma'am! 

Exit Rose. 

Cath. You'll call and see Miss Nancy Budd, of course? 
Senator Budd has a lovely home there, where 
the family spend much of their time. 

Cash. Oh, yes! Fll call and see Miss Nancy Budd; 
her father I have heard is very wealthy. 

Cath. Her father is a multi-millionaire and prominent 
in many enterprises. Miss Budd speaks five 



34 ELENORE 

languages well, plays the piano, and is a 
pleasant singer; highly accomplished and 
entertaining. Aside from money considera- 
tion, Nancy would be a fortune to any gentle- 
man. She always did think well of you, my 
lord! 

Cash. She is indeed accomplished and entertaining; 
but to me there's something not in accord. I 
love Elenore ! 

B^it Catherine. Enter Elenore. 

Cash. My darling Elenore ! 

"Love never strikes but once,, that strikes at all." 

Lord C. rushes to embrace, hut Elenore retreats. 

Elen. Propriety's a jewel of priceless worth. 

Lord Cashington forgets his proper sphere. 
''There is a time for everything under the sun ;" 
So saith the preacher. 

Cash. I know you are a preacher, Elenore; 

I wish you would contract to preach to me; 
Be my sweet minister both day and night. 
A spirit of awful loneliness has brooded 
O'er me since we parted ; I'm all alone 
In this false world, sweet Elenore. 

Elen. Selfishness rules the world. Lord Cashington, 
And lack-souled hypocrisy doth fly 
With her false burden to the gate of heaven; 
Deception meets them on the way, and whispers. 
They drop their precious gifts into her lap, 
And bow, and then depart, feeling relieved. 



LOVES CONQUEST 35 

As to your minister, any church, my lord ; 
All creeds contain the kernel of The Truth. 
Truth lies in the very soul of being ; 
Search for it in your soul. 

Cash. Distil the heart of grain and find the devil ; 
Distil man's heart and you will find the same. 

Blen. Good and evil lie side by side ; that grain 

Ground and cooked feeds millions; distilled, 

kills them. 
Some men devour all things that come their 

way, 
No matter whether hungry or not. 
There is more virtue in the brute ! 
Grain has no conscious soul, only spirit. 
Grain responds, not challenges the sun; 
Man counts himself more than the sun's equal, 
Although he is dependent on his rays. 

Cash. I am an Oxford graduate, but I 

Do not believe in soulizing be>ond 

A reasonable depth. It's good enough 

As a pastime, but is does not pay. 

The imagination's like a balloon that has 

Lost its gas in the tornado : it lands 

Anywhere except the place intended. 

But we have lost the key. I am in love ! 

And came to offer you Lord Cashington. 

Nothing imaginative 'bout that proposal. 

I'm in an awful hurry, Elenore, 

I'm on my way, you know, to Washington. 

Blen. Lord Cashington, your proposition is like 



36 ELENORE 

The peddler's bellows, it lacks valve. 
I will not invest. 

Cash, And then you think I cannot raise the wind? 
I am possessed of very large estates 
In England, and my investments in America 
Mount into the millions prospectively. 
One mine alone is worth a hundred million. 
If I can open it. 

Blen. I did not mean your present nor prospective 
Wealth, Lord Cashington, and to me 
Money has no value, except to buy 
A living; it is not even independence! 
The richer, the more dependent's my experience. 
My father is a slave to men who do 
Him service; he has only one stomach to 
Be fed, and it is poor at that. 

Cash. You omit charity in your category; 
Sweet Elenore, what do you mean? 

Blen. The only thing on earth there's value to 
Is character in man or woman! 

Cash. My breast is full of charity ; I love 
Everybody, but you I do prefer. 

Blen. You're not the man for me, Lord Cashington; 
But I know a lady who loves you dearly. 

Cash. Who is that lady? Is she young or old? 

Blen. She is sprightly, young and beautiful, 
And you know whom I mean. 

Cash. You break my heart, I love no one but you. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 37 

Blen. I am sorry for that. It's your own fault, 
For no encouragement did you receive 
At any time from me; but I do know 
You love sweet Nancy Budd. 

Cash. You are a theosophist, Elenore ! 

Blen. Though in my dreams I have met many dead, 
I never kissed the dragon's tail, nor lived 
In the jungle with the lion, tiger or leopard, 
I am afraid by some mischance I might 
Land there ; hence I use my reason to steer 
Me clear. The jungle is a good place for the 
Imagination to revel in. 

Cash. Then I have missed my mark, Elenore. 

You'll feel ashamed of your unkindness yet ! 

Blen. Take my advice, and go to Nancy Budd. 

Cash. The Prince de Mandelieu is after her, 

And I heard the contract had been signed. 

Blen. "There are many slips 'twixt cup and lip." 

Cash. But should I fail, may I return to you? 

Blen. Come for advice; no objection. 

Cash. Many thanks, my dear ; there's hope in straws ; 
I am a derelict 'thout sail or rudder, 
Floating on the sea of chance; my wild 
Oats I have sown. My whole desire is now 
To win the love of a sweet angel and settle 
Down in my baronial seat. Oh say 
You will be mine, sweet Elenore. 



38 ELENORE 

Blen. I never shall consent, Lord Cashington; 

My heart would droop and lose her proper 
function 

At being transplanted into foreign soil, 

So used from childhood to muse on Freedom! 

It throbs and sobs to every patriotic 

Strain of music wherever it is played. 

It follows in the march to "Yankee Doodle," 

It rises to the flood and overflows 

To every note of the ''Star Spangled Banner" ; 

It heaves my breast with strange pathetic sad- 
ness. 

And floods mine eyes with tears, the old slave 
song, 

"'Way down upon the Suwanee River" ; 

And sighs, and mingles with the slave. 

Oh! Precious liberty, outspread thy wings, 

'Till all the earth do fall in love with thee. 

Cash. I love your sentiments, for they are true! 
Truth and honor live in your pure soul. 
But I feel sorry in my heart for you ; 
The liberty you extol you don't possess; 
It has been sold ! Americans are slaves ; 
Sold to crooks by crooked legislators. 
The people do not seem to grasp the fact. 

Blen. What do you mean. Lord Cashington? 

Cash. In the United States you have two Jonathans; 
One corners up the products of the earth 
Which Providence intended to be free; 
The other, like a spider, sets his snares 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 39 

To rob the poor of their hard earned fee. 
Whence came the cash that bought the property 
Of nearly all your Public Corporations? 
Insurance surplus that should have been paid 
To the creators of it — less rightful charges, 
Or else from Nature's resources which should 
Have remained a State asset forever. 

Blen. Lord Cashington, our laws would not permit 
So vile a steal under the guise of charity ! 

Cash. Under the guise of "Vested Rights," 
Your legislatures made it possible. 
Many of your voters and legislators 
Have sold themselves to the highest bidder ; 
Your honest citizens are like caged animals, 
And have the privilege of growling. 
You have a system of Educated Rottenness; 
Americans are sold by pseudo Americans, 
Who boast of freedom, love and patriotism, 
And sing with zest the same songs you recount, 
Those men do even persuade themselves to tears 
Upon the stump, in rapturous sympathy, 
Telling how dearly they do love the people, 
Because they voted them a chance to steal. 

Blen. Can it be possible, and then to weep 
In telling of it? 

Cash. Spontaneously their rotten hearts do break 
And leak like any other criminal's ; 
And smell like moving offal carts ! 
Liberty was born and bred in England; 
Transplanted it did thrive a hundred years ; 



40 ELENORE 

But canker worms made inroads to her breast. 
And now she blossoms, but many blossoms fall 
Before the fruit is formed; while others hang 
And flaunt their rosy cheeks anent the sun. 
But when ripe the heart is rotten, and 
The flesh is sour ; sound fruit is scarce ! 

Mien. All that you claim cannot be possible 
In a country of universal franchise. 
See our noble monuments to Freedom, 
And charity, benevolent institutions, 
Our patriotic fires that burn forever 
In the hearts of millions. Our politics 
Cannot be so rotten as you claim ! 

Cash. Twenty out of every hundred, perhaps. 
Hang around the polls and will not vote, 
Unless they're paid. Even farmers, well-to-do, 
Wait for the soap 'mongst other criminals. 
It is the same in legislative halls! 
I was a correspondent for a "Yellow Journal" 
Which published the truth ; have I not seen it ? 
Journals are all yellow, which spread the truth ! 
Many of your newspapers are influenced; 
And fifty per cent, of all your politicians 
Have the incurable jaundice; forsooth 
The genuine "Yellow Peril." 

BUn. I did not intend project the argument. 
You are either wise or ignorant. 

Cash. England's freedom is her repertory. 

An Englishman will never sell his vote; 
He values liberty, yea with his soul. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 41 

Your politicians have sold your franchises ; 
The thief claims always he is innocent, 
As the drunkard always claims he's sober. 
You love to hear "The Star Spangled Banner," 
I love to hear "God Save the King." 
From me, my sweet, accept this ring. 

Blen. I've done no favor for you, Cashington ; 
Then why should I accept this ring? 

Cash. To mark our liberal exchange of views; 

Never before have we conversed in confidence. 
This ring was given by Henry the Eighth 
To Anne Boleyn, mother of Queen Elizabeth. 
It is a family heirloom. 

Blen. That ring was fatal, and it ever will be. 
I am superstitious. Lord Cashington, 
No luck can ever follow such a ring. 
Suppose Henry the Eighth now reigned. 
Would you sing "God Save the King"? 

Cash. Bygones are bygones ; let the dead rest. 
The law of evolution has purified 
Mankind, especially in England. 
Evolution grows down as well as upward ; 
The devil fell ! Henry's among the exceptions. 

Mien. I like not your arraignment of my country, 
Lord Cashington. Our republic is like 
A mighty river which in her extended flow, 
Will herself purify; the redeeming 
Influences and genuine factors are in 
Herself to purify herself; think not 
The redeeming element is dead. 



42 ELENORE 

Cash. You have rivers in these United States 

That gather mud from their source to the sea. 
Such is your government. As I perceive 
There's not a city hall, court house, or any 
Other State government institution 
Where perhaps two-thirds of the officials 
Are not corporation tools, placed there 
Because they did perform some gallant service 
In the interest of some thievish corporation 
In the legislature or elsewhere ; 
Filching rights or property from the state. 
To steal legally, calls for crooked laws. 
These are your eels, your snakes and moss- 
bunkers, 
Whose filth adulterates your lucid streams. 
Your "Honorable's" often spell rascality. 
Sweet Elenore, nothing will cure the evil 
Nor purify your sewers political 
But Russian medicine. 

Blen. Anarchy breeders ! but diabolical 

Complot disgusts and outrages the moral 

Sense, and kills the purpose of the assassin. 

Murder, anarchy, nor assassination 

Ever achieved reform ; nor paved the way. 

More honesty we need in every line; 

Not anarchy nor vile conspiracy, 

But honest voters on Election Day. 

We need that liberty which stands upon 

The pedestal of virtue — more fraternity. 

"The Ballot" is mightier than the ''Bomb!" 

Seventy-five per cent, of men are honest ; 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 43 

They will rise to the occasions and 
Redeem their country by the ''Ballot Box." 

Cash. The seventy-five per cent, of which you boast 
Are always at loggerheads, split in opinion. 
The twenty-five per cent, who sell their votes 
Turn the scales in favor of the thief. 
Pack ! Come with me to dear old England ! 
Come, my darling, flee from New Muckden ! 
Why should you linger in New York ? She's 
Too close to the New Jersey swamps. 

Blen. "Out o' the frying pan into the fire." 
I prefer to stay and help purify 
The mass. Your English politicians are all 
Virgins of purity, you would have me think; 
What of your London County Council? 
They tell me "grafters" breed in London and fly 
Around o' nights extracting fat and blood, 
As do our own mosquitoes and sewer rats. 
England has passed her hey day. 

Cash. "Her flag has braved a thousand years." 
"Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the wave! 
Britons never, never shall be slaves!" 
England is only reaching her zenith. 
Come with me, be mine, sweet Elenore! 
Your country is being exploited by honest 

thieves. 
Your political Boards of Public Works and 

other 
Appointed and elected public Boards 
Are catspaws for your public corporations. 
"Every man has his price," said "Honest Bill," 



44 ELENORE 

And many a plethoric "Boss" since then. 

Oh, come with me, sweet Elenore, to England! 

Blen. Columbia shall never be a slave! Never! 

Shackles can never be forged with strength 

to bind 
Her Herculean offspring. Samson-like, 
She'll wrench the giant pillars that support 
The Temple of Graft and let the roof fall on 
The ignominious grafters' heads. 

Cash. "Vested Rights" is like the badger in's hole. 

Columbia will have a tussel to draw him past 
Special Rights and Special laws. 
He is intrenched in his hole where the 
"Big Stick" cannot reach him. 

Blen. Columbia will use a spear-pointed crow-bar, 
and hammer it through the badger's head. 

Cash. Elenore, I made this journey from Monte Carlo 
to sue for your consent. 

Blen. The Duke de Portofino and his nephew, the 
Prince de Mandelieu, are now in Washington. 
In their honor we hold an Informal Reception. 
I have invited Nancy Budd. Will you grace 
the function with your presence? 

Cash. I will send you word; my train is due in half 
an hour. I must leave you now. Pray do not 
let me go without your answer. 

Blen. Never, Lord Cashington! Take Nancy Budd 
with you ; she's dying to settle down in Eng- 
land. She's English, you know. 
Bxeunt Blenore and Cashington. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 45 

Bnter Michael and Rose. 

They clear and arrange things about the room. 

Rose. Have you received instructions regarding the 
"Informal Reception," Michael? 

Mich. This morning, Miss Catherine told me we must 
wind our wits with the same key, and do our 
best to make it a success. Now you must stop 
wagging your sweet tongued bell and give 
me an occasional say. 

Rose. You make me smile about the wagging tongue. 
Yours never stops, for in your very slumber 
It throws out ghost-like gutturals unlimited. 

Mich. I like to see you smile, my own sweet Rose ; 
The dimples sink so quaintly in your cheeks, 
And chin. They are like pretty whirlpools 
That I would like to dive into ; the lines 
Of beauty ride all over your false face. 

Rose. I am in a dreadful hurry, Michael ; get your 
servants to work; this is for no ordinary 
function. 

Mich. Miss Catherine said it might be three days yet, 
as she had not heard from the Duke de Porto- 
fino definitely. 

Rose. We'll take no chances at delay; let us be pre- 
pared. "Procrastination is the thief o' time," 
is an old saying and a true one. 

Mich. Say, Rose, I saw Elenore reading a love letter. 
Do you think it was from Horatio ? Her face 



46 ELENORE 

changed from smile to sad so quickly, as 
the face o' the moon changes wading in the 
clouds. Rose, you might write me a love 
letter sometime. I want to feel just how it 
does feel. 

Rose. My fingers get the cramps the very moment 
I begin to write love letters, Michael, and I 
heard Miss Catherine say the other day they 
were dangerous instruments in modern law 
and literature. 

Mich. You run no risk in sending one to me, Rose. 
You once sent me an ugly valentine with 
soft words printed on it. Send me post cards 
or valentines. 

Rose. I'll send you an infernal machine made o' cheese 
and political gum juice. I'll take no chance 
on a professional, for I can easily tell when a 
man is sincere. You are a capital jollier, 
Mike. 

Mich. Put plenty of stamps on it, Rose, and seal it with 
a yellow star. 

Enter Messenger with telegram. 

I'll deliver this message at once to Miss 
Stockwell. 

Catherine enters and reads. 

Cath. Dear Miss C. Stockzvell: — Day after to- 

morrow or next day. 

PortoHno, Washington, D. C. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 47 

Now, Rose, I will leave all the arrangements 
to you and Michael ; my time will be wholly 
occupied with the dressmaker. 

Rose. All right, ma'am ; we will do our best. 

Exeunt. 



Scene 

ROOM IN THE SENATOR BUDD MANSION, 
WASHINGTON, D. C. 

Enter Lord Cashington. 
Nancy. Welcome, Lord Cashington. 

Cash. A sweeter welcome if that were possible. 
My dear Nancy, ever since I left 
Monte Carlo, my heart has been pulsating 
Like a wild automobile. 

Nancy. What made your heart act so, my lord? 

Cash. My conscience did accuse me of cruelty. 
The ardent fever could not be restrained, 
And the sweet impulse led me to the ship, 
And here am I a beggar for your love. 

Nancy. Why didn't you drop your fancy a letter? 
You never intimated it till now. 
Why did you smother your sweet impulse? 
Perhaps your love was hibernating. 

Cash. Everything sleeps ; it is a law of Nature. 
Sleep steals Nature's fire unconsciously; 



48 ELENORE 

Silently she enters her laboratory 
And helps herself. 

Nancy, Philosophy of sleep, Lord Cashington. 
The Prince de Mandelieu and his uncle, 
The Duke de Portofino, are in Washington. 
The Prince called yesterday. 

Cash. Indeed! The last I saw of Mandelieu was in 
Monte Carlo. His luck had fled, and he 
was borrowing from his friends. I loaned 
him five thousand francs which he has not 
repaid. 

Nancy. But he will repay you. I understand from his 
friends in France and Italy he will inherit 
the dukedom. 

Cash. The Duke may yet outlive the Prince. There 
is small value to crumbling mountain tops, 
and castles only fit for lizard hatcheries. 

Nancy. They are the guests of the French Ambassador. 
The Duke's employed in literary work and 
the Prince is assisting him. 

Cash. The Prince is as obtuse as an inverted mountain, 
entirely devoid of principle. He has been 
horsewhipped by several men and women; 
he has been ruled out of the game, and makes 
trouble wherever he goes because of his ugly, 
violent temper. 

Nancy. In him Nature belies herself, for he looks and 
acts as gentle as a kid. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 49 

Cash. Nature provides a sweet disguise for all her 
favorite votaries. Vm of the same old stock 
as James Fitz James, who was the son of 
James Stuart — Duke of York. This you will 
find in Burke's Peerage. 

Nancy. I doubt it not, Lord Cashington. 

Cash. What brought me here, the fact FU not disguise. 
With you, Miss Budd, I'm passionately in love. 
I'm tired of roaming up and down the world, 
and it is my desire to settle down to business. 
A kindly presiding spirit I now require to 
rule in my ancestral home. You are my ideal, 
for grace and talent are your inheritance, 
which would adorn our princely seat; pro- 
spectively my wealth is great, and I have 
a seat in the House of Lords. Come share 
the honors. 

Nancy. My lord, you came with mind well fortified 
and take me by surprise. I cannot give con- 
sent without consulting my dear mother. I 
am afraid your thoughts are premature. 

Cash. I have given the subject due consideration fully 
one year, and the conviction strengthens. 
Never before have I met a lady whom I love 
except yourself, sweet Nancy. 

Nancy. Your reputation on the Riviera was tTiat you 
had many admirers. 

Cash. I have had many admirers, and jestingly carried 
on many innocent flirtations ; but that indeed 
is nothing. 



50 ELENORE 

Nancy. Oh, that is nothing, for men must follow fash- 
ion even to a liberal interpretation. 

Cash. I am a passionate lover, you know, sweet Nancy. 
I opine you may be my counterpart ; our love 
would then be reciprocal. 

Nancy. But so unexpected and yet apparently sincere 
are your protestations of love, I am in doubt 
whether you hold your mental equipoise. My 
powers are not qualified to follow the process 
of your mind. My affections respond, but 
the reasons thereof are cloudy. I will ask 
mother. 

Cash. May I be permitted to see and speak with your 
mother? I cannot imagine her protesting 
when she has been informed of the love I bear 
you, which I hold dearer than my very life. 
And then you will be raised to the very zenith 
of Society, and made the lady of a lordly 
manor. All this will I fully explain to your 
mother. 

Nancy. Lord Cashington, it is my fond desire to priv- 
ately consult with mother; you may return 
after luncheon or at your convenience later 
in the day. 

Cash. I am, sweet Nancy, in your hands ; you are now 
my general; the question is grave and calls 
for deliberation. 

Nancy. Before you leave, I will introduce you to my 
mother. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 51 

Cash. Dearest Nancy, you have known me fully one 
year, but complications in my estate prevented 
settlement, and kept me from following the 
earnest promptings of my love. 

Nancy. But the Prince de Mandelieu and you were 
rivals for the hand of Elenore Stockwell ; 'tis 
this I do not understand. 

Cash. I merely foisted up the guise to tease the Prince 
and to inflate his jealousy. The Prince enjoys 
the temper of a typical Frenchman, which 
blows itself into a hurricane at little or noth- 
ing. His face turns red and blue; he boasts 
of swords, daggers, pistols and umbrellas, and 
even of boxing gloves and walking canes ; but 
it generally ends in watered gas. 

Nancy. I like not the Prince de Mandelieu. English- 
men are generally brave and most consider- 
ate of ladies. 

Enter Mrs. Budd. 
My mother, Lord Cashington. 
Mother, this is Lord Cashington. 

Mrs. B. I welcome you, my lord. 

Cash. I congratulate Mrs. Budd, Nancy's dear 
mother. 

Mrs. B. I have often heard our Nancy recount your 
kindness on the Riviera. I feel indebted for 
your attention to her. 

Cash. Profound esteem I entertain for your sweet 
daughter; I will say love, and that love 



52 ELENORE 

is importunate, and brought me here. Busi- 
ness is also importunate, for all my time is 
pre-engaged because I must return on parlia- 
mentary duty as soon as possible, taking with 
me, my bosom's choice, sweet Nancy, if you 
will give consent. 

Mrs. B. Nancy is highly accomplished. 

Cash. Of sweet and amiable disposition. I entered 
my proposal, but she desires first to consult 
her parents on whose judgment she may rely; 
she is dutiful. 

Mrs. B. Nancy is dutiful. 

Cash. But recently I came into the management of 
my estates, and they, you know, demand my 
immediate return. After arranging my affairs, 
which run into millions, I will sail for home 
at once. I am a member of the strenuous 
"Admiralty Board," and we are now engross- 
ed in the science of aerial navigation. I am a 
scion of one of the most noble families in 
England. This question must be decided; 
should Nancy refuse, I have many offers. 

Nancy. Dear mother, he will return in an hour or so. 

Cash. I will ; but have your minds made up, so that 
we may have the contract signed. 

Exit Lord Cashington. 

Mrs. B. Oh, Nancy, what a splendid gentleman, and a 
real English lord. Fortune has fallen at your 
feet, my precious darling! How did you 



LOVES CONQUEST 53 

reach so far above your social sphere? Why 
did you not tell me of this before? I will 
'phone Father to come home immediately, for 
we must not permit Lord Cashington to 
slip. "Fortune favors the brave." But the 
brave must act on the spur of the moment. 

Nancy. Elenore formerly received Lord Cashington's 
attentions. Never until to-day has he ex- 
pressed his love to me. He says Elenore is 
cold and indifferent naturally. 

Mrs. B. We must be careful, Nancy, not to offend; 
he bears the stamp of greatness, and his 
breeding expresses itself in his polished grace 
and dignified manner. 

Nancy. Doubtless he is well bred. 

Mrs. B. It is, my daughter, a mother's bounden duty 
to see her children happily married, and as 
far above their social sphere as possible. I 
wonder does he know how rich we are? We 
must not forget to intimate that one day you 
will inherit over ten millions. Father inherited 
millions of surplus funds, and he is interested 
in almost every financial scheme or venture 
at home or abroad, investing legitimately 
and to great advantage, the fortune which 
came to him curiously. If some financial earth- 
quake does not disrupt the fabric, you may 
be some day as wealthy as Elenore. Father 
has made many poor lawyers and politicians 



54 ELENORE 

rich with the money which should have come 
to you or else been disbursed in charity. 

Nancy. Judas made charitable suggestions perhaps to 
relieve his conscience or swell his charity bag. 
It's abroad they are going to build a dome 
higher than the Tower of Babel, mother. 

Mrs. B. Yes ! A monster dome where all the financial 
crooks may roost in case a second flood o'er- 
takes the earth. 

Nancy. What if Samson pull the props from under, 
before the flood? 

Mrs, B. Metaphysical question, Nancy. 

Nancy. We'll let it drop, Mother. I will only get 
about ten million dollars, while Elenore will 
inherit a hundred million. 

Mrs. B. But she is poor for all her wealth ; you would 
be rich with nothing, compared with her. 

Nancy. Mother dear, Lord Cashington may think it 
is your desire to sell your daughter for money, 
or else to purchase title ; we must be careful. 

Mrs. B. We will circumnavigate the subject and drop 
your fortune in as 'twere by accident. An 
innocent slip of the tongue will disarm all 
suspicion on his part. 

Nancy. That is well thought of, my dear mother. 

Mrs. B. A marriage contract, of course, he will insist 
on having executed ; that is the rule in high 
society all over England and the Continent; 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 55 

so we must not appear surprised nor dull on 
the subject. 

Nancy. I hate that part of it, Mother. 

Mrs. B. My dear, it is the usage, and we must strive 
to emulate and not decry an honored, ancient 
custom. 

Nancy. I know, dear Mother, but it is a compromise. 

Mrs. B. Father will be here presently; he will know 
all about the contract; if not, one of his 
corporation lawyers will furnish the particu- 
lars. I want to talk the matter over privately 
with him. 

Enter Senator Budd. 

Sen. B. Martha, my dear, what's uppermost in your 
mind — brain or heart trouble? 

Mrs. B. A touch of both, my dear husband. What do 
you think ! Our daughter's been preferred to 
all others by Lord Cashington of England. 
He must, within an hour, receive an answer, 
because he wants to return by the next steam- 
er with a wife. He is a member of the Upper 
House, a scion of noble ancestry, and a per- 
sonal friend of the Prince de Monaco and the 
Emperor of all the Congos. It's all settled 
but the contract. 

Sen. B. Lord Cashington! I never heard his name; 
perhaps he's not a nobleman at all. How 
came he here ? 



56 ELENORE 

Mrs. B. Last year our Nancy met him on the Riviera. 

Sen. B. Splendid rendezvous for aristocratic adven- 
turers. 

Mrs. B. Like maidens at certain age, Nancy is secre- 
tive. I did not tell my parents our love 
affairs when you first came awooing! Their 
hearts are one, and now he wants to seal the 
bond, and stands ready to sign the contract. 

ren. B. Why on his part this inconsiderate haste? 
Our Nancy is not on the spinster list ; she is 
yet young, and hardly knows her mind. To 
test his love, postpone it for a year. 

Mrs. B. His lordship's desire is imperative; 

It is, get married and settle down to business, 
Which demands his immediate return. 
Prospectively his wealth is fabulous 
In the United States and Canada. 

Sen, B. Strange concoctions indeed. Why did Nancy 
. Retain the secret till the last minute? 

Mrs. B. That I've explained sufficiently to you. 
Our Nancy is his choice and he protests 
All his affection solemnly to her. 
Should you desire her happiness to wreck, 
'Tis in your power, but all the blame will rest 
On your own soul. I am innocent ! 
He has a hundred letters which contain 
Proposals from the most wealthy and 
Refined families in the United States, 
Proffering their daughters in marriage. 
Pray do not wreck your daughter's happiness. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 57 

Sen. B. You buckle the harness very tightly on, 
But I do feel like kicking o'er the traces. 
What know I of this Lord Cashington? 

Mrs. B. He is a gentleman of most refined 

Appearance and gentle manner; his nobility 
Is stamped in every lineament. 

Sen. B. Lord Cashington may be an adventurer. 
Refined appearances do not proclaim 
Men's characters nor that they own estates. 
I shall inquire of the Ambassador. 

Mrs. B. That may induce suspicion on his part. 
Doubtless he will furnish proof of his 
Identity and title at your request. 
That you must carefully inquire, for we 
Cannot afford to have our name disgraced. 

Sen. B. I shall inquire the full particulars. 

Our daughter shall not go hoodwinked to 
The altar ; there's been too much of that. 

Mrs. B. The Prince de Mandelieu proposed to her 
Some days ago, but him I do dislike ; 
He is all gotten up even to wearing 
Scented corsets, and all his clothes are padded. 
The French are great on supplementing Nature. 

Sen. B. They are expert in all the stuffed artis. 
It's not likely Lord Cashington's a fraud; 
Although there's such commodity abroad. 
To be suspicious now's a virtue. 

Mrs. B. But some people overdo everything. 



58 ELENORE 

Sen. B. It will set up a plea for time; delay 

Oft changes the whole complexion of the case. 
You've marked, perchance, the rulings of the 

Courts? 
Time is a factor in Modern Jurisprudence, 
Not to be discounted by thieves and murderers. 

Mrs. B. It's different, dear husband, in love affairs — 
This adjournment may prove disastrous. 
Nancy has known his lordship over a year. 
Do formulate the contract. 

Sen. B. It is the rule all over Europe, but I 
Abhor the mercenary instrument; 
A marriage contract for money consideration 
Is a relic of barbarism. There is no love ! 
You contract to make your daughter slave 
To an aristocratic, may-be villain. 
I'll sign no contract. I'll sound his lordship. 

Mrs. B. Your stubborn will may spoil our daughter's 
future ; 
You always show your dogged disposition. 
You are too niggardly to part with money. 
Even to enrich your children's happiness. 

Sen. B. Peace! Malcontent, you would jeopardize 
Our daughter's happiness. 
What do I know, or what do you know, about 
Lord Cashington or his antecedents? 

Mrs. B. Think you our Nancy's no judge of character? 
She has her father's perspicacity ; 
She is no fool. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 59 

Sen. B. Lords and Counts occasionally are men, 
Like those we find within the common herd; 
For one straight line you'll find two crooked. 

Mrs. B. It may be the same with our Senators, 
Although the crooked lines be indistinct; 
Honorable dishonorables, frequently. 

Sen. B. How much the contract? 

Mrs. B. At least a million. 

Enter Lord Cashington. 

Mrs. B. Mr. Budd, Lord Cashington. 

Sen. B. Accept regards, Lord Cashington. 

Cash. Senator Budd, I just had luncheon with the 
Ambassador, exchanged compliments, and 
had a pleasant chat. He is a clever chap, full 
of witty stories and pointed remarks ; highly 
humorous betimes. 

Sen. B. A very excellent gentleman, I hear, and very 
popular. 

Cash. Senator Budd, I met your beautiful daughter 
a year ago and I have loved her ever since. 
I had some difficulty arranging the settlement 
of my estates. Recently I came into posses- 
sion and now enjoy, in full, title and income. 
I love your daughter very dearly, and I believe 
most tenderly she loves me. Like all true 
daughters she will not give consent without 
her parents* due authority, lest she offend and 
lose their blessing. Her heart I have, her 



6o ELENORE 

hand is yours to grant. In manly fashion I 
beg this of you. 

Sen. B. Rash consents and promises have wrecked 
dynasties, kingdoms and individuals ; of you. 
Lord Cashington, I know nothing ; this is the 
first I've seen or heard of you. A rule in 
business strictly I have followed, not to eii-, 
gage in any enterprise without collecting all 
the available knowledge on the subject. 

Cash. Senator Budd, you doubt me, but I strongly 
approve the stand you take in this import- 
ant matter. It is for me to show you proof. 
Fraudulent men and women are abroad every- 
where, and you take the ordinary business 
caution. I refer you to the British Ambassa- 
dor, and also to these papers, and you may 
cable the factor of my estate in England. 

Sen. B. What is the income of your property? 

Cash. My ancestors involved my estate and my father 
was over flush. All claims are now adjusted. 
The revenue therefrom should be approxi- 
mately a hundred thousand annually. 

Sen. B. Would it not be well to postpone your mar- 
riage until your debts are paid? 

Cash. Senator Budd, I am desirous of settling down at 
once in my ancestral home 'midst pleasant 
environments with a sweet companion whose 
love is responsive. Then, with the marriage 
dower extend our comforts and broaden our 



LOVES CONQUEST 6i 

sphere in social life. A clever and attractive 
woman, like your daughter, would advance 
her husband's political fortune. My aspira- 
tions now follow in that line, as I am a 
member of the House of Lords. 

Sen. B. My lord, the matter is too precipitant. Our 
daughter's happiness depends upon her choice. 
I, for the time, withhold consent until I am 
well informed. 

Mrs. B. Dear husband, I see no reason for delay; 
Lord Cashington and Nancy are satisfied. 
Something may prevent its consummation. 

Sen. B. My dear Martha, nothing will intervene; no 
cause will suffer by delay that seeks for good. 
The subject urges thought. 

Cash. The basis of the marriage settlement might pro- 
fitably be discussed; then you may pursue 
your inquiry until you are fully satisfied. 

Sen. B. My estate is very large, but values are un- 
settled ; prospectively, they will double, and I, 
therefore, desire to wait. 

Cash. Senator Budd, I'm in the prospective van my- 
self. I am not urgent nor unreasonable, 
neither did I come to you for money, but for 
your daughter. 

Sen. B. Your word I doubt not, nor your sincerity. 
I will not now consent. Lord Cashington. 

Exit Senator Budd. 



62 ELENORE 

Cash. My dear Mrs. Budd, with your permission 
I'll now take leave of your sweet daughter. 

Mrs. B. Nancy dear, Lord Cashington is going 
And desires to hold converse with you. 

Bxit Mrs. Budd. 

Cash. My darling Nancy, your father is suspicious 
And will not now agree to settlement, 
Pleading the uncertainty of life. Your mother 
Accused him of standing in your way, 
And cast on him the wreck of your sweet life. 
What can be done to move your stubborn father ? 

Nancy. Father is very close in money matters ; 

He'll not be moved when he puts down his foot. 

Cash. Your father I cannot blame, my sweet Nancy ; 
Deliberation is the rule in business, 
In law, and politics, but not in love. 
Can you suggest some other plan or means . 
Whereby our loves may be by law united? 
That holy purpose brought me here and I 
Hate to be thwarted. 

Nancy. I'll consult mother, she is willing. 

Cash. Your mother, sweet Nancy, urges on our suit. 
A wife is ever greater than her husband, 
Especially in matters matrimonial. 
Take mother's advice ; do what she advises. 

Nancy. I will at once consult her. Excuse, I beg. 

Bxit Lord Cashington. Enter Mrs. Budd. 

Mrs. B. What is the problem, Nancy? 



LOVES CONQUEST 63 

Nancy, His lordship bids me act on your advice. 
My love for him sincerely I confess, 
And feel I ought not let him go away. 
He may propose to Elenore Stockwell 
And she accept ; then would I regret 
The foolish step and feel humiliated. 
To be mistress and the controlling spirit, 
The lady of a lordly seat in England, 
Is now the flight and swing of my ambition. 
What shall we do. Mother ? 

Mrs. B. Your pluck and ambition I admire. 

I have on easy call a hundred thousand 

Dollars in gilt-edged securities. 

Which are at your disposal ; but I'm afraid 

To interfere; it's somewhat dangerous. 

No matter who he was, if I loved him 

And he loved me, 'twould end in sweet romance, 

Were I convinced of his lordship's love. 

Your father would forgive when it is past. 

Nancy. You're sure he would forgive, dear Mother? 

Mrs. B. Father desires to see you happily married 
To an honorable gentleman cf fortune. 
Little he cares for "Title," but I am sure 
He would not object to it. 

Nancy. Mother, you're sure father would forgive? 

Mrs. B. Indeed he would. What more desirable 
Than see you settled in an English manor, 
Where we might spend our summers profitably, 
'Mid picturesque surroundings and mingle there 
With a nobility whose pedigree 



64 ELENORE 

May be traced back a thousand years, with titles 
Which sink into oblivion, for history's dumb. 
Society here is crude, and quite unbleached. 
'Tis well you did refuse Prince Mandelieu ; 
The French nobility in love affairs 
Are queer. 

Nancy. But the French are a great nation, Mother. 
They produce wonderful designs 
In fashions and in supplementary art. 

Mrs. B. I love London and Old England, Nancy; 
Lord Cashington's a perfect gentleman. 
I'll see father when he returns, sweet Nancy. 
Call Lord Cashington, have him return 
Tomorrow for the answer. 

Exit Mrs. Budd. 

Enter Lord Cashington. 

Nancy. Mother has decided to talk the subject over 
with father on his return and requests you 
to call tomorrow for an answer. 

Cash. I trust your father may yield. 

Nancy. Are you going to attend the Reception? 
Elenore mentioned your name in her letter 
to me. 

Cash. I have not signified my will. It is yet two or 
three days hence; we may go together. 

Nancy. Father's decision may change our plans — he 
may relent. Call tomorrow. 



LOME'S CONQUEST 65 

Cash. Adieu till then, my darling; be true; I am 
yours forever. 

Nancy. Au revoir, my lord, and may the god of 
war protect you from the Prince de Mande- 
lieu; his jealousy may break into a "brain 
storm." Ha! ha! ha! 

Bxeunt Lord Cashington and Nancy. 



c'j'^mmmt'}(3 




66 ELENORE 



ACT II. Scene 

THD STOCKWE:i,I, mansion, NEW YORK. 
ROOM OPENING INTO THE CONSERVATORY. 

Enter Horatio and Blenore. They embrace, 
Elen. Horatio ! 

Hor. Elenore ! 

Though scourged by fear, how sweet these 

stolen moments 
To feel the entrancing glow of mutual love. 
Like moonlit stream leaping joyously 
In the face of heaven — heaven smiles back 
On the meandering pilgrim of the night; 
As through the shadows and the sheen it flows 
Rapturously to the far-off sea. 
How saddening the distant undertone 
To the sprightly lyric sung at our feet. 
With all our doubts, what inexpressible joy 
Doth heaven lend to true love's overtures. 

Blen. Love's more fantastical than real, Horatio; 

Like a tree bearing every fruit. 
Some choose, therefrom, that do look most fair, 
Others gather that's fallen on the ground ; 
Fallen, — perchance the fruit was over-ripe, 
Or canker-worm pierced the coming fruit ; 
For there she lays her eggs wherein her young 
May fatten and defile. Sound fruit is scarce 
As wholesome love, Horatio ! 



LOVES CONQUEST 67 

What wisdom hath the worm for destruction, 
Butterfly knowledge, or instinct? 
I'd rather house a snake than a foul worm. 
The worm's self-propagating — the snake will 

die. 
Sin must have started in the worm. 

Sound fruit is typical of healthful love; 
When lusty winds have buffeted the tree. 
And icy North winds howled through the 

branches, 
Though tossed and shaken rudely, yet it clings. 

That is the apple I shall surely pluck; 
The gods never mislead an honest lover. 

I'm not so sure of that, Horatio. 
The gods were not over particular, 
And the goddesses were supersubtle 
As modern politicians, who muster out 
The most ignoble element, then drop 
Them in Fate's lap after the using. 

And then you think there's politics in love ? 

Spurious love's on par with politics ; 
But true love in her essence is innocent; 
The highest attribute of the Divine; 
Hence, cannot be corrupted nor defiled ; 
But, it may be submerged and overcome 
In man or woman by opposite desire ; 
The tender virtue in her seed garroted 
By passion's minions and ill-favored weeds. 
The love that vibrates in the devil's heart 
Is to his jaded soul a poisoned dart. 



68 ELENORE 

Hor. Love, methinks, is like a tree o'erhung 

With money bags and empties, here and there. 
There is no scramble for the empty sacks. 
But groans and sighs the "Golden Calf" implore ; 
They leap for them as fish do for the lure. 

Blen. Then you are fishing for money bags, Horatio? 

Hor. No! I'm fishing for a pearl, Elenore. 

That pearl to me's worth all the world's gold. 
And of that pearl I'm jealous. Thieves are 
bold. 

Blen. You are not jealous, my dear Horatio. 

Hor. Jealousy, Elenore, is love's eclipse. 
Never was true love without it. 

Blen. Jealousy's a tyrant in other things 

Than love ! She is ambition's pioneer ! 

Her venomed eye and sinuous body lend 

Strength and cunning to criminal complot. 

Permit not jealousy, my dear Horatio, 

Her tentacles to anchor in your heart. 

The eclipse steals nothing from the source of 

light. 
But jealousy is love's eternal blight. 
Hell's passion-flower fed by diseased night. 

Hor. When absent from you I'm jealous, Elenore; 
Methinks some oily tongue may slip between 
In some unguarded hour, administer 
A philter, and steal my pearl away. 

Blen. Your love is counterfeit, Horatio, 

Co-mixed with other strange ingredients. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 69 

I fear to give my confidence to one 
Whom jealousy has made a prisoner 
Of reason and of love. 

Hor. I dare be honest in my sad confession, 

But I am helpless except when you are near ; 

Now the sky is clear, there's not a spectre 

In the firmament, love reigns supreme. 

Love's sweet voice I hear even in her chiding; 

For sweeter still it feels the more it stings. 

I see the sacred fire of love enhance 

Those beauteous orbs which pale the day. 

Oh, 'tis heaven, sweet Elenore! 

Say not again my love is counterfeit. 

Do not, I pray, return again to France; 

Let's rest our fires on love's eternal altar. 
Elen. That cannot be soon, Horatio ; 

I have a sacred duty to perform. 
Hor. None more sacred. But will you be true? 

Blen. Falsehood I abhor. 

Hor. I mean, will you be true to me? 

Blen. I never proved false to any. 

Hor. Do you love me, Elenore ? 

Blen. I never hated any. Do you love me, Horatio ? 

Hor. With my whole heart and soul, sweet Elenore. 
You do not doubt my love? 

Blen. I doubt none but the devil, Horatio. 

Hor. But do you love me? 



70 ELENORE 

Blen. I do ; but you did confess, a moment 
After your jealousy returns. 

Hor. Never will I permit jealousy to enter 
If I can whip her down. 

Blen. The pendulum of your affections swings 
'Twixt hope and despair. 

Hor. And will always until we are united. 

Blen. And that may never be, my dear Horatio! 
Time and circumstance open and shut 
Many romantic doors. 

Hor. Would I were a widower and you 
A lonely widow. 

Blen. Would I were a bachelor and you 
A lonely maiden. 

Hor. Steal in, thou grateful shadows; dense mists 
intrude ;. 
And relegate the moon to desuetude. 
Oh solitude, lend thought and speech to charm 
This lovely maid who leans upon my arm; 
Darkness is love's comforter. 

Blen. The gentle moon triumphant won the race. 

The garrulous wind with well-becoming grace 
Has blown the smoky clouds from off her face ; 
Now must we part or find some other place. 

Hor. When and where shall we meet again ? 

Blen. The night after the Reception. 

Hor. It seems the aristocracy of France hold the key 
to the hearts of American heiresses. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 71 

Blen. Why not, if the heiresses are satisfied? One 
thing I know: the Duke de Portofino has 
supplanted the affections of Widower Johnson. 
So vain is my Aunt Catherine of late, I 
think she's lost her head. 

Hor. It's funny to watch an old spinster courting. 

Blen. She keeps all her correspondence locked up in 
her room and seems offended whenever I 
enter her sanctuary. 

Hor. Where is she now? 

Blen. Upstairs in her room writing love letters. I 
wonder why she's quiet so long? 

Hor. Reluctantly I take my leave of you. How I do 
wish this vile suspense was past. 

Blen. I have a duty to discharge to father for my 
departed mother's sake, Horatio. 

Catherine. Elenore! Elenore! Elenore! 

Blen. What's the matter. Auntie, are you dreaming? 
I'm finishing a novel; go to sleep; I'll be 
up to bed presently. 

Cath. I forgot my Paris hat. 

Blen. Rose will bring it up, Auntie ; pray don't come 
down ; you must feel tired. 

Cath. Nay, I'll come down and get it myself; there 
are other things I want to see. 

Blen. All right. Auntie, careful, don't fall. Let us 
quickly to the door, Horatio! 



72 ELENORE 

Hor. Your aunt is an inquisitive old witch; pity the 
man who falls foul of her ; he'll need neither 
strap nor razor. 

Cath. What are you gazing at, Elenore? 

Blen. Gazing, Auntie, at Venus and Mars, 
They are both now evening stars ! 
Good-night, my dear Horatio, 
Heaven's richest blessing with you go. 

Hor. Angels of mercy grace your pillow 
As soft winds the peaceful billow. 
A last fond kiss now at the door, 
And then good-night, sweet Elenore. 
That kiss was worth all the money in the world. 

Blen. Widower Johnson calls returning from the club ; 
that's what is keeping auntie up so late. He 
gets full on mixed drinks and sways about 
like a cornfield in a cross wind — there he is 
on the other side of the street. 

Hor. They nick-name him Bonanza Johnson. 

Blen. He's wealthy, is blessed with ten children; his 
wife's been dead about six months; he has 
been bombarding Auntie's aflfections this 
long time and verily he may succeed. Auntie 
is growing so vain now, she feasts on the 
looking glass much of her time. Human 
nature's hard to understand. It's a toss be- 
tween Johnson and Duke de Portofino. 

Hor. Ten to one the widower will win; experience 
has taught him many tricks. Men and women 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 73 

grow expert in the game. Fresh blood ap- 
pears upon the stage and presto, change. 
What makes him stand signalling there ? 

Blen. Aunt Catherine has retired again to her room and 
must be returning signals. They have a "sig- 
nal code." 

Hor. Does he stay long? 

Blen. Till morning, but Catherine insists on Michael 
and Rose remaining near. Although my aunt 
is very gay, she is very chaste and jealous 
of her honor. Horatio, the night after the 
Reception, and I will give you all the news. 

Hor. Adieu, sweet Elenore. 

Bxeunt Horatio and Blenore. 



Scene 

Aunt Catherine receives Johnson. 
Michael and Rose are about. 

Cath. How do you do, Mr. Johnson? 

John. My precious darling. Catherine, I am so proud 
you have made up your mind to regulate my 
household. You do remind me so much of 
my departed. I cannot refrain from fond- 
ling you. 

Cath. Mr. Johnson, heretofore I have entertained you 
just for the sake of sympathy, and you will 
confess I have done my duty; but this busi- 



74 ELENORE 

ness can go no further. I told you long ago I 
would not leave my brother and my niece to 
be any man's wife. 

John. Even a weather-cock could not change so quick- 
ly. You know, sweet Catherine, that I per- 
mitted you to come between me and my 
housekeeper, and now you try to dodge the 
question like the uncertain wind. I'm mysti- 
fied and half delirious, and know not whether 
to laugh, or rage, or cry. I even told Senator 
Stockwell, your only brother, of our affection, 
and he nodded his consent and seemed quite 
pleased, for he is looking for another wife. 

Cath. You are mistaken. My brother has told me a 
hundred times he will never marry again. 

fohn. Your brother told me he was about to settle on 
you an ample fortune and prepare the way 
for you and himself to marry. 

Cath. My brother never told me so and I will not take 
your word. 

John. You knock the pegs from 'neath the dome of 
hope, 
And send me to the dungeon of despair. 
My love you trample under your cruel feet, 
And fling your sacred promise to the wind. 

Cath. I never gave you any sacred promise nor even 
professed especial love for you. I like you 
fairly well; but, when I contemplate, I see 
your ten children all staring me in the face; 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 75 

then my love shrinks like a mushroom in the 
sun. IVe had enough of life's burden; I 
merely sympathized as the Red Cross Society 
women do. You should make up with your 
housekeeper. 

John. It is too late; I've introduced my friend, a 
gentleman of means, and their engagement 
has been announced. 

Cath. That does not signify. Promises amount to 
nothing nowadays, especially in politics and 
affairs of love. Promises are easily broken 
and easily mended, like unfortunate umbrellas 
and dolls. 

John. Catherine dear, I love you ; my very soul clings 
to your image. 

Cath. You built your image without my consent. 
Images are easily broken; just let 
Them fall and they will break quite harmlessly. 

John. You have no heart of common sympathy, 
Else to the hallowed fire of love it would 
Relent, and melt into a generous fusion. 
Catherine, you will regret your hasty action. 
Some other son of some other false woman 
Has been pouring snake-root in your ear. 

Cath. I think it's a mistake in any spinster 
To melt in fusion to a widower. 
Women love but once, men many times. 
Lord, steer me clear of such permutation ; 
A sheep should not be hitched with a goat. 



76 ELENORE 

John. I came not here to be insulted. 

Cath. No, you came to keep me from my sleep. 

John. Then I shall go. 

Cath. It is high time, the day ensues anon; 

You never leave the club till early morning. 
Go now ! 

John. You will regret your cruelty, dear Catherine ; 
Perhaps you think you're chiding me in love. 

Cath. I'm chiding you in love and hate both. 
Widowers should be home o' nights 
With their children and housekeepers. 

John. Catherine, I have escorted you home o' nights 
After you had fawned around my children. 
Calling them pet names. "Poor helpless orp- 
hans; 
What pity such sweet girl and lovely boy 
Should be bereft of mother, and that so kind 
A father should be left alone!" And then 
Exclaim on nature for her cruel mistake. 
It was indeed your purpose to become 
A goodly second mother to my children. 
Revolve the matter in your mind, darling. 
And say you will be mine. I am lonely. 

Cath. Mr. Johnson, there are too many to mother; 
I never will consent! That ends it! 

John. That will not end it ! I will call again ; 

Some other bee's been buzzing in your ear. 
Adieu. 

Exit Widower Johnson. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 77 

Catherine alone. 
Cath. That Johnson I never want to see again; I 
doctored his marriage proposition with ice 
water — nothing cools humidity Hke a shower 
of hail, ril never marry a widower; my 
mind's made up on that question, especially 
when a noble gentleman like the Duke de 
Portofino may be won. This man Johnson 
has been a fortunate politician, a side partner 
of Senator Gamster of Gravesend, who repre- 
sents the chaps who doctor legislatures and 
drug city officials and deceive the people. 
Exit Aunt Catherine. 

Michael and Rose busy setting things in order and 
flirting. 

Mich. Awful long-winded affair; first Elenore and 
Horatio, and then Johnson and Catherine — 
who will come next? Maybe the Duke! 
They kept us from a good night's sleep. 
The sun is up and the cock's acrowing. 
And the men are out in the hay field mowing. 
I hear the click o' the old Buckeye, 
Clipping a swath in the field o' rye. 

Rose. Great Scott! It smells as if the Senators had 
held a caucus here with Assemblyman John- 
son last night! Open the windows, Michael, 
and turn on the electric fans and drive it out. 

Mich. It smells of Harrisburg and the Virginia swamps, 
or down by the Potomac in Washington, or 



78 ELENORE 

along the banks of the Passaic when the 
craft is sailing out. 

Rose. It reminds me of horse-hoof parings in a black- 
smith's shop, or of a tannery when they are 
scraping hides. Catherine staggered upstairs 
from its effects. It's worse than flies in the 
apothecary's ointment, Michael; the skunk's 
not in it. It's worse than McCarion's Morgue ! 

Mich. Johnson's the father o' children ten, 
And so may I when you say when ; 
Ten wee Teddy Bears, "kinder," and then 
We'll fill the country wi' honest men. 

Rose. But what a mischance if all were lame 

Like their dear father, whose wits are tame. 

Mich. "No sleep till morn when youth and pleasure 
meet 
To chase the glowing hours with flying feet." 
Princes, and lords, and dukes, at the reception, 
A "Coal Combine" of honor and deception; 
But who would grace and dignify the affair? 
The London County Council and Lord Mayor? 

Rose. But Senators, Congressmen and Assemblymen 
all rank higher in the United States. 

Mich. They steer the ship into the hands of the Philis- 
tines; compel the people to pay their tools 
and navigators. It's a fine business, a politic- 
ian-lawyer. 

Rose. Sure, you'll have to apprentice yourself to a 
professional, and learn the trade. For a con- 



LOVE'S CONQUEST yg 

sideration, maybe Senator Gamster would 
take you in his office! Get a move on you, 
Michael. 

Mich. Why, we're ahead of time, Rose. 

Rose. Senator Stockwell and Miss Catherine will be 
down for breakfast presently. Get your 
servants to work. 

Mich. Everything is ready ; only you and I have been 
loafing. 

Rose. Here they come! 

Exeunt Michael and Rose. 

Enter Senator Stockwell and Catherine . 

Cath. Now must you listen, my dear brother Mark. 
When I have news of import to reveal. 
You back towards the door and out you steal. 

Sen. S. I have short time to spare, sister Catherine; 
The news unfold, the which you now conceal. 
Ginger nuts, crackers, or franchise steal ? 

Cath. On previous occasions, whenever I 

Have introduced the subject of Elenore's 

Future within the field of matrimony. 

You seemed indifferent and turned away; 

Withal the question's now most serious, 

For 'tis our righteous obligation, Mark, 

To do our best in order to secure 

A worthy gentleman for our beloved daughter. 

Sen. S. Unfurl your sails and let the vessel drift. 



8o ELENORE 

Cath. In all our journeys, home or abroad, 
The most polite yet strict propriety 
Has been observed ; most estimable people 
Have we met and I have not discouraged 
Our Elenore from harmless enjoyment 
With proper and approved society. 
In our travels she met many admirers. 

Sen. S. She did, eh! You never told me so! 

Cath. Though Cupid's arrows missed their mark on 
me, 
Fm not quite sure they've missed your only 
daughter ! 

Sen. S. She's not in love nor is beloved, Catherine? 

Cath. When last we were in Nice, French Riviera, 
We met the Prince de Mandelieu, a splendid 
Looking gentleman, and so polite, 
Methinks he's one of nature's noblemen. 
For us it seemed he could not do enough. 
One of his automobiles stood ever ready 
To whirl us o'er the lovely Alpine roads. 
Along the winding shore, through olive and 

orange 
Groves and gardens where Pomona loves 
To rest. Here Flora brings her sweetest flowers 
From where they revel in perennial bloom. 

Sen. S. No wonder you love the Prince de Mandelieu. 

Cath. Pray do not interrupt, my only brother. 

Veiled by palms and blooming almond trees, 
Sit quaint and stately villas white as snow 



LOVE'S CONQUEST Si 

In grand relief and classic decoration ; 

Tall arched terraces and balustrades 

O'er hung in green and blossoming profusion ; 

The hoary weather-fending Alps do breathe 

From out their rugged sides eternal spring. 

Sen. S. I must get you on the stump next campaign. 

Cath. Took luncheon with the Prince at Monte Carlo ; 
To Nice, returning via the Corniche Road, 
Immortal monument to wild ambition; 
The Mediterranean Sea outspread below, 
The snow-capped mountains towering to the 

North. 
We want, dear brother, to go there again. 

Sen. S. Have you yet reached a period, Catherine? 

Cath. 'Twas in the season of the Carnival ; 

You ought to have seen us dressed in clownish 
mask. 

Sen. S. Did you discard your clothes? 

Cath. The Prince is much impressed by Elenore. 
The Duke de Portofino is his uncle ; 
A gentleman who looks about your age. 
And not unlike you, brother Mark, indeed. 

Sen. S. We'd pass as twins, I suppose. 

Cath. The Prince looked chivalrous leaving unmasked 
The handsomest features of his noble face ; 
And when he moved he had the gait of Mars, 
And swagger of a Grecian champion. 
Withal he's very meek and tender-hearted; . 
There is, you know, my only brother Mark, 
More good than evil in every man. 



82 ELENORE 

Sen. S. Catherine, the world is large ; I think it folly 
The same place to visit quite so soon. 
There are delightful Southern resorts 
In climate unsurpassed ; the winter months, 
More profuse of flowers and natural beauty. 
Find some congenial paradise at home — 
Here, where the sweeter fruits of liberty 
Like pendant gems vie with the morning sun, 
When from his teeming couch he fires the 

roaming 
Clouds, and flashes in the trembling dewdrop. 

Cath. The tree of liberty's been shorn and hacked ; 
For mutilation the penalty is light. 
Money and crooked lawyers and crooked law 
Always have kept closed the dungeon doors 
Against political vivisectionists. 
Justice in this world has often been 
Emasculated and ensnared in webs 
Of gold, and thieves let free. 

Sen. S. No system of government was ever perfect ; 
Everything, you know, is ''Evolution" 
Since Charles Darwin's time. Men first get rich 
And then they grow honest — sometimes! 

Cath. Curious creatures climbing up the scale! 

But we, dear Mark, are getting from the subject ; 
Let us return to lovely France. 

Sen. S. You have of late been mixing English, French, 
German and Italian, that I am puzzled. 
Sometimes I think you are practising 
Esperanto Zamenhof, and we 
May hear you soon in the "Morals of Marcus." 



LOVES CONQUEST 83 

Cath. Esperanto the Frenchman speaks to his mule, 
A language men and beasts all understand. 
There are no balky mules in France, 
But here you find them everywhere. 

Sen. S. That is as you understand the mule and the 
language ? 

Cath. The Duke de Portofino's definition 

Of Esperanto's a cross between a sheep, 
A mule, and a French traveling minstrel. 
But the Duke is critical and hard 
To please, like you, my brother Mark. 

Sen. S. Catherine, I begin to smell the balmy breath 
Of Pomona and Vertumnus ! 

Cath. They are both Romans ; Fm American. 

The Duke did hum into mine ear some sweet 
Italian phrases, the which anon come bubbling 
On the top as from a thermal spring. 
I will confess I do betimes feel absent, 
As one watching the flow of the brook. 

Sen. S. Quite permissible and essentially natural 
In any woman, young or old. 

Cath. Bow down your ear, my dear brother Mark: 
Our Elenore's affections may stray away. 

Sen. S. Tell me quickly ! Is she in love ? 

Cath. Last evening the house was very still ; 

Three of the serving maids had gone to church. 
And you had gone to visit at the club. 
Between the clock ticks I heard a whispering; 
Lest it were burglars, I shouted, Michael ! 



84 ELENORE 

My voice the silence seemed to emphasize ; 
I looked down through the main staircase well ; 
Again I called as loud's my weak lungs could. 
I think a slip I made on the fourth step ; 
When, in apparent haste, Elenore shouted, 
"What's the matter, Auntie ?" And then before 
I had time to answer again she cried, 
"A novel I am busy finishing, 
I will be up in half an hour or so. 
Go right to bed ; you must feel tired." 
Sen. S. Slightly comical, but doubtless true. 

Cath. But I kept trudging down fast as I could, 
And as I turned the first landing, I saw 
The image of Horatio Millford 
In the looking glass. 

Sen. S. That cannot be possible! 

Cath. When I got down she stood holding the door 
At forty-five degrees, she in the space. 
And when I plied her for explanation — 

Sen. S. What did she say? 

Cath. "Fm admiring Venus and Mars, 

They are now both evening stars." 
And when I pressed for further explanation, 
Venturing my suspicion, she laughed it off; 
"Auntie, your imagination's corrupt, 
You are by it mistaken or misled ;" 
Concluding, " It's none of your business, any- 
how !" 
Oh, brother Mark, the thing I most detest 



LOVES CONQUEST 85 

Is not to be appreciated ! You know 
What have I done to be rewarded thus! 

Sen. S. Our Elenore knows her duty, sister Catherine ; 
The like must not recur. 

Cath. But when her tantrum's o'er, Elenore 
Is full as passionate in her forgiveness. 
But I cannot thaw down as quickly to her 
Contrition; I must be matronly and stand 
Somewhat upon my dignity. 

Sen. S. You have aroused my suspicion, Catherine. 
Anything else? 

Cath. Horatio Millford I heartily abhor, 

Because you hate his father, brother Mark. 
He has thwarted many of your schemes 
Knowing he might not reach the goal himself. 
I hate those men who always shout, "the people, 
The people are being swindled !" They have no 

brains, 
Although they have the will to do much worse. 
They do not consider the rich die poor. 
I hate the Millfords ! 

Sen. S. In that I do not blame you. Oh, Catherine ! 
You did arouse a devil in my soul. 

Cath. Elenore's self-willed and may rebel. 

To save your family name and reputation, 
You must at once dictate we sail for Europe. 

Sen. S. You're preacher and philosopher, Catherine, 
And somewhat of a politician to boot. 
Your will I'll not oppose, for I now see 
The wisdom and necessity of such a step. 



86 ELENORE 



Cath. Wisdom and philosophy of "Mother Wit." 

Sen, S. Sister Catherine, I hate no soul on earth, 
Although I have decided preferences. 
I, in my soul, detest John Millford; 
I would rather see my daughter dead. 
But are you sure it was his son's image? 

Cath. I am quite sure, Mark ! 

Sen. S. There are so many doubles now-a-days. 

My daughter would not lie for all the world. 

But to make sure, prepare immediately 

To sail for France. Oh ! are you sure it was 

John Millford's son? 
Cath. Absolutely sure, my only brother Mark ! 

Sen. S. I hate him and he abhors me ! Sail at once ! 

Cath. You know not, Mark, what sacrifice I've made, 
When Widower Johnson came to me and said, 
"Catherine! I feel dejected since my love died, 
Darling will you come and rule my house?" 
And with many vows and sweet palaver 
Laid snares to captivate my sympathy. 
Although he's rich, he has ten children, Mark, 
He kept it up until he made me sick ; 
Yet I could not abruptly shoo him ofif. 
Because of your vast business enterprise. 
And other reasons that called for courtesy. 
In my own heart I felt his lonely spot. 
But dare not bend one inch lest he perceive 
My perdu, and take undue advantage. 
I saw 'twas best to cut his efforts short 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 87 

And told him firmly I would not leave you. 

He said I was foolish and would regret it. 

Sen. S. But I have seen him here of late — 
He dropped the hint to me. 

Cath. Once in a while he calls for friendship's sake ; 
I tell you this so you may know the love 
I bear to you and Elenore. And now, 
What about your only sister's legacy? 

Sen. S. We'll talk that over later, I must leave. 

So you sent Johnson to the cold storage con- 
gress ? 

Cath. He's President of the Ice Trust, anyhow. 

That's where he should be sent, where he may 

double 
His fortune in his "Undertaker" business. 
I shudder when I walk past the rows of coffins 
In his factory ; , he might starve me on ice 
Before my time! He is now President 
Of the "Coffin Trust." 

Sen. S. Catherine, I doubt not your love; right well 
Have you performed your duty. 

Cath. But the legacy ; I am your only sister ! 
You must return within an hour, for I 
Have news for you. 

Sen. S. My dear sister, I shall. Adieu. 

Exit Senator Stockwell. 

Catherine alone. 
Cath. This legacy must be secured to-day. 



88 ELENORE 

I'll drum upon this keynote and blow soft winds 

In my brother's face till it's secured. 

Then I'll be independent, and 'tis right ; 

My best years were given to him and Elenore. 

Exit Catherine. 
Scene 

ROOM IN THE BUDD MANSION, WASHINGTON, D. C. 

Enter Senator and Mrs. Budd. 

Mrs. B. Why do you refuse the marriage settlement? 

Sen. B. Why did you not angle for Senator Stockwell's 
only son for Xancy, and so avoid this mer- 
cenary contract ? 

Mrs. B. .\merican aristocracy has not yet crystallized. 
It takes centuries to develop relined caste, as 
it takes time to season wine or perfect any 
breed. There is an ease and grace, a fluency 
which only comes through time and is the 
essential inheritance of the grandee. Mark 
Stockwell's son was a profligate, and was 
disinherited for marr^'ing a common girl. I 
would not have given my consent. Being 
"unequally yoked" is the curse of the world! 
.\nd it lies all in the breed. 

Sen. B. You are low bred, my dear; you hoed pota- 
toes, barefooted, in your grandfather's garden. 

Mrs. B. That was more honorable than sweeping 
ever\'body's dirt out of a broker's pa\s*nshop. 



LOVES CONQUEST 89 

Sen. B. You know you lie; I was a druggist's clerk. 

Mrs. B. Pity you did not poison yourself before ever 
I met you. I was a fool to tie my fortune to 
a trash. 

Sen. B. I wish I had never met you; I could easily 
have done better — I could not have done 
worse. Go, get a divorce; Til not oppose 
the suit. 

Mrs. B, No, I guess you won't; the virtue is all on 
your side; you are now the ''Honorable 
Budd," raised to the pinnacle of fortune 
through the misfortune of others. 

Sen. B. I made my fortune by hard work. 

Mrs. B. You fib ! You never soiled your hands except 
to wash the dinner dishes, those days you 
were either too poor or too stingy to hire a 
servant. 

Sen. B. You are a low bred, mean wretch ! I have a 
good mind to twist your neck or give you a 
potion to send you to heaven. 

Mrs. B. See your future financial magnate or future 
political "Boss" creeping and crawling into 
the favor of his superiors ; obsequious, servile, 
fawning dog ; pandering, slippery snake. Mark 
the evolution as he crawls into grace and 
power! Domineering, overbearing and then 
imperious, looking down in contempt on those 
he holds in his grip. But still the sly, slimy 
rogue with the same beggarly soul beating in 



90 ELENORE 

his breast and the same breed of reptiles 
creeping in his v.eins. 

Sen. B. You are a contemptible woman. I will poison 
or strangle you. 

Mrs. B. Honorable Budd, after a life of undiscover- 
ed shame, would then be a poisoner or hang- 
man, which I believe you are at heart? You 
are guilty of worse crimes ! No man ever 
became a multi-millionaire in business in 
twenty years, without robbing the State or 
the people! It was my money that set you 
up in business. 

Sen. B. You know you lie! 

Mrs. B. When you married me you had not a present- 
able pair of shoes, hat, or suit of clothes. 

Sen. B. I married you to keep you from dogging my 
footsteps. Leave me at once or I will fling 
you out ! 

Mrs. B. You are a bantam ; it takes two to a bargain. 
I will pull the sickly yellow red hair out of 
your skull if you lay hand on me. I never 
knew a professional politician nor his sponsor 
with an honest heart. 

Sen. B. You are an ugly baboon ! I hate you ! 

Mrs. B. I hate the smell and reputation of your busi- 
ness. It's worse than the hangman's! You 
keep on tap a staff of lawyers who, like 
lusty pigs, have fattened on your swill, 
while you keep growing lean and ravenous. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 91 

Sen. B. Lawyers are the cheapest things I can buy. 

Mrs. B. They canopy, in gracious flowers, a shady 
enterprise, and buzz around like mosquitoes, 
always looking for blood. And too, they keep 
their clients out of jail and from the electric 
chair. 

Sen. B. Leave the room, or I will get my razor. 

Mrs. B. You are too big a coward to use it on yourself, 
and you dare not on me ! You prefer to live 
and feed lawyers and politicians on my mon- 
ey. Nancy will marry Lord Cashington ! 

Sen. B. She will not! The Stuarts were worse than 
Henry's line. 

Bxit Senator Budd. 
Enter Nancy. 

Mrs. B. Dearest Nancy, father will not consent ; 
He flung himself into a violent passion 
That grew more terrible as it progressed. 
Even my own honor and sincerity 
He questioned, and gave it character 
So vile and undeserved, it made me shudder. 
"Ambition willing," said he, "to sacrifice 
Her daughter to a worthless lord, who may 
Perchance hold a worthless title or one 
All smeared with dirt and debt." 

Nancy. How could you stand and hear it, gentle 
mother ? 

Lord Cashington's a gentleman, the only 
Man I ever loved. He shall be mine! 



92 ELENORE 

Mrs. B. I cannot blame you, Nancy! Were I you, 
I'd hate to be thwarted in my purpose. 

Nancy. Should I refuse, he'll marry Elenore. 

He showed to me a bundle of letters containing 
Many offers from the wealthiest in the land. 

Mrs. B. First thing he will be Newport's social lion. 
Or in the swim at Narragansett Pier. 
That must not be, my child ; I shall prevent. 
Lord Cashington shall marry Nancy Budd ! 
I'll sell all my securities. The proceeds 
Placed in your hands will clear the way. 
The marriage settlement, your father says. 
Is worse than harlotry or concubinage. 
And he would rather see you dead and buried. 

Nancy. But it is the olden custom, Mother, 

With heathen and Jew for countless centuries. 
When love accompanies the contract, what 
harm? 

Mrs. B. Father says love, lust and lucre cannot 

Be hitched together by a marriage contract. 

Nancy. Dearest Mother, father has gone crazy ! 

Mrs. B. He has been acting very queer of late. 

Ever since the 'Tanic" he has been disturbed : 
And then the question of those insurance funds 
Disrupts his rest; it is a knotty problem 
That some day must be settled by the Court. 
If he, like other Senators I know. 
Would drink until he stupified his wits, 
He might drain solace from the devil's cup. 



LOVES CONQUEST 93 

Nancy. Father is wise ; he might reveal himself. 

Wine is a mocker which doth unleash the tongue. 

Mrs. B. Elope with my money and my consent; 

It's my own fortune, the which I may dispense. 

Enter Servant. 
Servant. Lord Cashington. 

Exit Mrs. Budd. 
Nancy. Welcome, my dear lord. 

They embrace. 

Cash. A sweeter welcome than ever bee gave flower; 
My darling Nancy, my heart is full of love. 
There is no other flower on earth which blooms 
So fair, nor smells so sweet as you to me. 
Say, do you love me, Nancy? 

Nancy. With my whole heart, I love Lord Cashington ; 
No other bee shall e'er extract the honey. 

Cash. Now is the time or never! This question must 
Be settled. Two days hence I shall return 
To England with my bride. 

Nancy. My lord, you fan my love and conjure hope, 
And then inject a poison ; suppose, my lord, 
I cannot go with you? 

Cash. Elenore comes next, but there are many 

Waiting for answers to their loving tenders; 
I love but you ! 

Re-enter Mrs. Budd. 

Mrs. B. Welcome again, Lord Cashington! 



94 ELENORE 

Cash. Thanks, Mrs. Budd, doubly 'tis returned; 
I have told dear Nancy this question must 
Be settled before I leave. 'Bove all the women 
In the world, Nancy I prefer. 

Nancy. 'Bove all the men in the world, 
I prefer Lord Cashington. 

Cash. Dear Mrs. Budd, the marriage contract 
I waive in consideration of 
The sacrifice of your own fortune, but I 
Desire to know the extent of Nancy's fortune, 
Say, at her father's death. 

Mrs. B. Nancy will inherit in the end at least 
Ten million dollars, and on my decease 
Ten million more. All my estate, or real 
Or personal, I'll will to her. 

Cash. Mr. Budd you cannot persuade? 

Mrs. B. After passion's heat is over. At present not. 

Cash. How shall we arrange? 

Mrs. B. After the Stockwell Reception. 

Cash. The funds for present use? 

Mrs. B. They are placed in Nancy's hands. 

Cash. How about announcing the engagement? 

Mrs. B. It will appear in all the morning papers. 

Cash. And the romantic marriage when we are on 
board the steamer? 

Mrs. B. That will receive attention. I will have an 
pert female novelist write the story — "Double 



LOVBS CONQUEST 95 

Romance at Midnight." Elenore and Prince 
de Mandelieu will follow suit! 

Nancy. Oh Mother, give it to Kipling, and he will 
sing it like an ancient minstrel. 

Mrs. B. He might set you hobbling like "Little Bobs." 

Nancy. Get a professional with an imagination. 

Mrs. B. Suppose I send for Sherlock Holmes? 

Nancy. Send for the "Little Minister;" he'll write a 
sermon on admirable Cashington. 

Cash. Dear Mrs. Budd, "when shall we three meet 
again ?" 

Mrs. B. After the honeymoon. 

Cash. Before ! That will never blow over. 

Mrs. B. When the heir is born? 

Cash. A parting word with my sweet Nancy. 

Nancy. What is your pleasure. Lord Cashington? 

Cash. Everything is now settled, and I will take my 
leave of you. At Baltimore I will board your 
train; we will attend the Reception, and 
afterward Elenore and the Prince de Mande- 
lieu will witness to our marriage. Please, 
Mrs. Budd, do make the headlines of the story, 
"American Beauty Roses Monopolized by 
English Lords and European Princes." The 
new stock branded — Cash U Budd's. 

Nancy. Capital idea. Lord Cashington — Budd cashed 
you, and you catched Budd. 

Exit Lord Cashington. 



96 ELENORE 

Mrs. B. My dearest Nancy, the plot is now complete ; 
I think his lordship's plan the most feasible. 
Elenore and the Prince de Mandelieu as wit- 
nesses will lend flavor and possibility to the 
splendid romance. "Marriage is infectious," 
is the old adage and will hold good until the 
end of time. Princes, lords and dukes are all 
now charmed with the "American Beauty." 
Sweet daughter Nancy, you are the most 
highly favored of all. I don't like the Prince 
de Mandelieu. 

Nancy. Nor I. Elenore is welcome to him; French 
counts and princes treat their wives like beasts. 

Mrs. B. The French aristocracy are overbred. 

Nancy. You must not give your opinion breath. 

Enter Maid. Ten minutes to train time. 

Mrs. B. Adieu, my sweet daughter Nancy; write me 
the full particulars. 

Nancy. I will write you two letters a day. Next 
month you may be with us in England. Oh, 
my sweet Mother, how I shall miss you ! 

Mrs. B. Not so much as I shall miss you, dear Nancy. 
They kiss adieu. 
Exeunt Mrs. Budd and Nancy. 
Enter Senator Budd (alone) 
Sen. B. I will prevent the marriage ! Senator Stock- 
well is my friend. I will communicate and 
block this game for money. 

Exit Senator Budd. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 97 



ACT III. Scene 

ROOM IN THE STOCKWDI^I. MANSION. 

Bnter Senator Stockwell and Catherine, 

Cath. 'Tis now ten years since your dear Mary died. 
You know she placed our daughter Elenore 
All in my charge. Upon her dying bed, 
"Catherine," said she, ''You be to her a mother.'' 
Never did eyes behold a sweeter girl. 
Innocence and childish beauty blended, 
Which made a picture of angelic sweetness. 
But now of late she has grown irritable 
As most young ladies do at certain age. 
Now Elenore prefers the company 
Of ladies 'bout her age to go a shopping. 
She says I don't know how to dress myself. 
And my ideas thereof are antiquated. 
The other day referring to the bonnet. 
Two years ago I purchased in Paris, 
"You and it are fossilized twins." 
Those bonnets you know were all the rage 
Among the upper class when I was young — 
I had it made to special order in Paris ; 
The maker said 'twould always be in style 
Because it is decidedly antique. 

Sen. S. It bears, indeed, the ear marks of great age. 
There is no reason why the bonnet and you 
Should not grow old together, Catherine. 



98 ELENORE 

Cath. Five hundred francs the lace itself cost me ; 
The ribbon and the flowers as much again ! 
I tell you, brother Mark, our Elenore 
Is over-fastidious. Would I permit, 
A new costume, and all to match, she'd wear 
For each and every day in the year. 

Sen. S. "All is vanity," saith the preacher — 
Giddy girls will follow the old ruts. 
Sense strikes later on in life. 

Cath. But I have tried to save your money, Mark, 
Because I know you labored hard for it. 
The crudest thing she ever said to me: 
"Your Paris milliner fished it out of an 
Old garret trunk that never had been opened 
In fifty years." It made me cry ! 

Sen. S. That was a most unwarranted expression, 
Containing extraordinary latitude. 

Cath. If she would tell it others behind my back 
Like a good diplomat, it might not hurt. 
She broke the bottom ring of my hoop skirt 
Squeezing me in the carriage the other day; 
And verily the footman turned around 
And blew his nose, and I am almost sure 
I heard the coachman hobbling in his seat. 
It cracked so loudly! I hardly could refrain 
Laughing at it myself ! But Elenore 
Pinched my arm and mocked me parrot-like: 
"Auntie, to laugh's a breach of etiquette." 
This etiquette's an awful thing to squeeze 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 99 

When people dare not either laugh or sneeze. 
Fm driven to desperation; what shall I do, 
Brother Mark? 

Sen. S. Elenore understands you, sister Catherine, 
And likes to see you looking beautiful. 
How well you look when nicely dressed ! 

Cath. That's what everybody says — go on! 

Sen. S. But my advice in matters of women's dress 
Is wholly worthless, I being no connoisseur. 
But dare I venture an opinion, I would 
Most seriously advise vivisection 
In hats, hoops and other stuffed appendages, 
And then adopt a graceful mantleage. 

Cath. I'd look like a draped bean pole. Senator, 
Not like Mark Stockwell's coadjutrix. 
Suggest some compromise. 

Sen. S. The highland kilt's a suitable costume ; 

The pipes outspread and made web-footed, 
Ribbons tied in bow knots, bag made to fit the 

head, 
Would be a suitable hat. I see no harm 
In women of taste wearing musical hats. 
"Music hath charms to soothe the savage 

breast." 
It might diminish the causes of divorce ! 

Cath. Now since you have arranged to let us go 

To Europe, we must make hasty preparations. 
As to the legacy, my brother Mark ? 
Should Elenore marry, then her affection 



loo ELENORE 

Might, by degrees, abate. You would not like 
Your only sister, who made such sacrifice. 
To beg for charity. 

Sen. S. Catherine, your services I hold 'bove money 
Value. Already I've made such provision. 
I purchased the other day a million 
Dollars in bonds and made the interest payable 
Semi-annually to you; after 
Your death, the principal to Elenore, 
Her heirs and assigns forever. 

Cath. Your kindness, brother, has driven away my 
breath. 
Is it a dream, or blest reality ? 
I feel like dancing a jig! Is't real? 

Sen. S. It's real, Catherine ! It's real and you are now 
A capitalist. Pray don't grow stingy with 
Your money. Feed something else than cats 

and parrots. 
Provide for all your wants, but don't forget 
A husband ! That is the main thing after all. 
Nothing becomes a woman like knitting and 

nursing 
In this wicked world. 

Cath. In case the Trust Company burst, or — or 

Collapse? It might have been a wiser plan 
To have given me the million in a lump sum. 
A million would last as long as I expect 
To live, without interest. 

Sen. S. Catherine, the world herself, is bursting some- 
where 



LOVE'S CONQUEST loi 

Every day. Now if we cannot trust 

The world, what wonder the figments of men's 

brains 
Do fall in pieces ? Don't worry, Catherine. 

Cath. Had it been in my own hands, my brother, 
I could have felt it under my pillow nightly 
As I do now my tiny wallet. 

Sen. S. Some thief might find his way to your pillow 
Through the door of your heart, then whereas 
Your million? 

Cath. You are fooling with me now, my brother Mark ; 
I am so old and, Elenore says, antique. 
Were I an old cripple cozzner dangling 
Croesus' wallet in front of fickle beauty, 
Something romantically unnatural 
Might happen unawares. Trust me, Mark. 
It is your Senators cannot be trusted. 
The women, poor helpless things, get all the 
blame. 

Sen. S. I have business to attend and now 
Must leave. 

Cath. One word more, my dearest brother Mark. 

Sen. S. Then cut it short. 

Cath. The Prince de Mandelieu and his uncle, 

The Duke de Portofino, are in this country. 
Two weeks ago in Washington, we met. 
At intervals we held some correspondence 
E'er since we parted in the South of France. 
A friendly invitation through courtesy 



102 ELENORE 

We did extend when they landed here ; 
But previously they had appointment made 
To meet their friends at the French Embassy, 
Their business at this time being to collect 
Some accurate information regarding 
Social and political conditions 
In the United States, and to record 
The same as future historians may, when, 
The vehement flood of prejudice subsides, 
And reason sits enthroned on passion's seat. 
The Duke is now compiling such a work 
For the home government which soon will be 
Complete. They were so very generous 
That we insisted on their being entertained 
Under your hospitable roof, and they 
Arrive this afternoon on a flying trip. 
Elenore and I have, in their honor. 
Made fitting preparations. The reception 
Will be "informal." Do not fail, my brother, 
To return as early as possible. 
I'm sure you will enjoy their company. 

Sen. S. Gracious, Catherine ! I cannot speak a word 
Of French ; we will stand smiling in each 

other's 
Faces, like cats passing on a picket fence. 
'Tis better I attend the Racquet Club- 
To Senator Gamster I made partial promise. 

Cath. My brother, the Duke speaks English fluently. 
It would be most unkind to stay away — 
A breach of etiquette unpardonable. 
Let Senator Gamster come along with you, 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 103 

Although his nasty manners I detest. 
Let him follow distant at your heels. 
You seem to think so much of him. 

Sen. S. I only like him because I can use him, Kate; 
A borrowed match may kindle a great fire. 
Millions are made buying and selling cattle, 
And there are other shambles than in Chicago. 
I shall be present, and likely Senator Gamster. 

Cath. You know, my brother Mark, when we return 
To France, we'll feel at home; the language 
Is not so difficult when one's heart's in't. 
You, too, this year or next, will meet us there. 
I vow you will be nobly entertained. 
The most generous people on the earth 
I've met in France and Italy; 
The Prince and Duke are par excellent. 

Sen. S. I believe they are considerate and honest, 
Although in France and Italy they pass 
To strangers heaps of spurious coin. 
Nations are judged by the quality 
Of the metal they circulate as coin. 
Spurious coin and morals go together; 
Par excellence is scarce. 

Cath. Not always, Mark; good judges are deceived 
By spurious coin, and thieves pass everywhere. 

Exit Senator Stockwell. 
Catherine (alone) 

Cath. Hope springs eternal in a woman's breast; 
Blest be the diplomatic corps, for they 



104 ELENORE 

Shall come at last to what belongs to them ! 
Diplomacy's a jewel in a cat's paw. 
Catherine now has gotten the sinews o' war, 
She may not die an old maid after all. 
Johnson has ten children, the oldest now 
But sixteen — the burden is too heavy. 
Trouble had I more than an angel's share, 
Carrying to the matrimonial gate 
That ungrateful creature Elenore. 

Bnter Rose. 

Rose. Your dressmaker is here, Miss Stockwell. 

Cath. Tell her I will see her presently. 

Cath. I am living now in an ethereal world. 
Catherine's a millionaire, a capitalist; 
I'm with the dukes and princes of the earth. 
Queen of Sheba looking for her Solomon. 
His wisdom must I make indeed mine ass. 
There was a time when wisdom brought good 

prices, 
But now her precious virtues are discounted ; 
Her diadem and priceless gems are melted 
In "Brokers' Pots," and turned to gold. 
Although she's cheap, she always may be trusted. 
Widower Johnson will urge his suit again, 
Whining his too sweet to be wholesome song. 
"Catherine dear, I feel so lonely now. 
You're prettier, darling, than a spring rainbow." 
What silly lure wherewith to angle for fish. 
Widowers are precarious investments, 
Especially those with a miscellaneous 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 105 

Multitude to be clothed and fed. 
If not miraculously, it does mean work. 
And servants now like better to get drunk, 
Rub holes in clothes, then swear they did it not ! 
Cook leaves the pottage singeing o'er the fire 
Until you shout, Bridget ! phat's the matter ? 
"Oh nothin,' ma'am, the pot is spilling over." 

Bnter Michael. 

Mich. Miss Catherine, everything is ready. 
Any other orders, ma'am? 

Cath. I will see Rose presently ; will call 
You when I am ready. 

Exit Michael. 

Cath. The tax is now big wages and poor service. 
Give me the servants in the South of France, 
They're always satisfied to work for "Tips." 
Blest be the domestic diplomat 
Who never knows just where she's at; 
She keeps her secrets to herself 
And's never laid upon the shelf. 
Politicians take their cue from the domestic. 
Elenore's not going to order me 
Any more ; I am now her equal 
In independence. Heretofore betimes, 
Like some freeborn Americans, I had 
To "sell my vote" — or let it go for nothing. 
There are many freeborn slaves as well's 
domestic ! 

Enter Rose. 

Rose. Oh Miss Catherine! the first and second cook 



io6 ELENORE 

have had a terrible falHng out and are clawing 
each other. I am afraid their sweat and blood 
will taste the pudding. What shall I do? 

Cath. Send Michael for that purple-nosed policeman 
who loafs around the kitchen door o' nights; 
'tis he may have caused the fight. I will be 
there presently; will send you word. Leave 
me alone to meditation. 
Exit Rose. 

Cath. Elenore I shall disarm by kindness, 

In her true heart honor hath her seat; 

Her smile is like the morning flowers which 

spread 
Their beauty and their fragrance to the sun; 
Her graceful motion marks her independence. 
Our differences I'll strive to liquidate 
And will her pardon crave for past offense. 
Before my speech is ended it will be granted ; 
My vote I'll cast for Prince de Mandelieu, 
For I love France and Frenchmen although they 
Do circulate spurious coin and practise 
Imposture on foreigners ; may be not more 
Than some ingenious merchants in the States. 
The business taximeter is hard to read 
In business ruts and roads around the globe; 
'Tis selfishness that rules the roost in common. 
Wer't not for gluttony and lust of gold, 
The world would stagnate. 

Enter Michael. 
Mich. Did you call me, Miss Catherine? 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 107 

Cath. No, I will ring the bell when I want you. 

Exit Michael. 
Cath Oh, this million dollar fortification ^ 
Sets me a dreaming. I feel young agam. 
I'll call Elenore. 
Elenore! Elenore! Elenore! 
Bnter Elenore. 
Elen. What ails you. Auntie, sick again? 
Cath. Sweet Elenore, will you forgive «^e, dear? 

I have been cross betimes, but you do know 
It is because of my unfeigned love. ^ . 
When one's heart is overwhelmed, it s wise 
Our sufferings to release. 
Elen. I wish you would unveil your heart, dear aunt; 
Draw the sluice and let the water flow 
Over the big mill-wheel which, being geared. 
Grinds soap or sugar or any kind of yarn. 
Cath. Youdoinsultyour auntie, Elenore; 

You know I have been cruel, but to be kind ; 
Surely 'tis not my tender guardianship 
That stimulates in you this waspish nat^^^- 
Both night and day e'er since your mother died 
I've watched you tenderly and served you well, 
I think I am entitled to respect. 
I did perceive I had some further duty. 
And laid you at a very prince's feet. 
Elen. You always put your foot in with your tongue! 
Everybody's business suffers except ^ 
Your own ! I'm not lying at a prince s feet. 
Nor begging at the feet of Malaprop. 



io8 ELENORE 

Cath. I meant the Prince de Mandelieu was lying 
At your feet. Forgive me, darling ! 

Blen. Aunt Catherine, standing lying in my face. 

I would the Prince and you might lie together, 
Then would there be a pair of lynx-eyed fibbers. 

Cath. The devil's gotten the best of you again ; 
Of late you have been under his control. 
Your vile insinuations do me offend ; 
They soil and threaten my veracity. 
A very slave I've made myself to you ; 
Like a blood-thirsty tiger now you turn 
And grin and growl at your foster-mother, 
When I open my mouth in your sweet interest. 
Ungrateful wretch, I'll leave this house forever. 
I wish I had not lived to see the day; 
I'll go where you shall ne'er see me again. 

Elen. Go where you please, I'm not your ward! 

Cath. Oh, blest are they who are not cursed by money ; 
Most all my life I have felt very poor, 
And now I'm rich, am miserable ! 
I'll tell my brother the Trust Deed to destroy. 
To die poor is no sin, if one be honest. 
Or rich or poor, it is no sin to die 
In debt to honesty ! Oh, my breath ! 
Ungrateful wretch! 

Blen. Auntie, please do not surrender reason ! 
Yourself restrain from falling voluntarily 
Into passion's hideous jaws. 

Cath. Oh, my heart and head ! 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 109 

Blen. Forgive my cruel insinuations, Auntie, 

If I have been mistaken. Methought you were 
A devil, for even father has looked on me 
With inquiring suspicion, as I had been 
A thief and taken something that to me 
Did not belong and venomed my tongue 
Like tricky Juno's. Forgive me, my dear Auntie. 
Command this fit of choler to depart. 

Cath. Oh, my heart and head ! 

Blen. Your face is purple, and your eyes bulge 

Your tongue o'erhangs your lips like a red 

mushroom ; 
Your eyes look from their sockets like a dead 

beast 
Stretched on the slaughtering floor, whose eyes 
Do gaze into eternity ! The foam 
From out your mouth and dilating nostrils 
Sicken my sight ! O rise, dear Auntie, rise ! 
Never again shall I doubt your sincerity. 

Cath. Oh, my heart and head ! 

Elen. Michael! Michael! run for the doctor; bring 
a sponge and ice water first, and the smelling 
salts. Hurry ! hurry ! 

Michael returns. Restoratives are applied and 
Catherine revives. 

Cath. Send not for the doctor; your last words 
Touched my heart as angel breathed upon't. 
Tve always done my duty as I saw it ; 
I thought you did begrudge the legacy ! 



no ELENORE 

Blen. Nay, my trustful aunt, I did request 
My dear father full two months ago 
To make that just provision in his will, 
As meager reward for your services 
In our behalf. 

Cath. I've been a mother to you, Elenore, 

But recently I felt your love grow cold, 

For it descended into disrespect. 

In order to be honest with your father, 

I ventured to tell him my suspicion. 

I mean the night you made reply to me, 

"Auntie, Fm studying Venus and Mars." 

I hold it is my right to exercise 

A mother's care and jealous guardianship, 

Although you have outlived the minor age. 

Blen. You have that right. Aunt Catherine. 

Cath. Never terrestrial tide but has its turning. 
I'm glad we understand each other better. 
I feel exalted. Have I been in a trance? 
Perhaps I was, and really did not know it. 

Blen. Michael, take the restoratives away and set 
things in order, my aunt is better. Make 
haste, prepare for the Reception. 

Mich. Everything has been prepared. 

Cath. Sweet Elenore, I am rejoiced at the prospect 
of spending another winter in France. Your 
welfare makes me importunate. Senator 
Stockwell will have made all the arrange- 
ments, most likely, before his return. I hope 



LOVE'S CONQUEST iii 

we shall have a pleasant voyage. What 
makes you look so absent-minded, my child, 
when you should be singing the Marseillaise? 

Bleu. I am not absent-minded. Aunt Catherine, 
But my thoughts are on another journey. 
Auntie, methinks I'll die a maid. 

Cath. Blest be they who strike the happy medium, 
Domestic, social, or political. 
Most certainly there is a happy state. 
So far my judgment has been excellent. 
But thoughts do sweep into catastrophies 
In every line of mutual speculation. 
Our minds are changeable. 

Enter Michael announcing the arrival of the Duke de 
PortoHno and Prince de Mandelieu. 

Blen. Dear aunt, that trance of yours has so beguiled 
the time, that we not heard the clock cry 
cuckoo. 

Cath. We must run up the private stairs and dress. 
Michael, conduct the Duke and Prince into 
the lounging room. 

Mich. All right, ma'am! 

Exeunt Catherine and Elenore. 



112 ELENORE 



Scene 

ROOM IN STOCKWElyL MANSION. 

Michael and Rose busy setting things in order and 

making love. 
Mich. When maids and aunts do cease to fight, 

Then we'll get time to set things right. 

Sweet Rosie is thy name, 

And sugary thy nature. 

Milk and butter are the same; 

You are my darling creature. 

Rose. Stop yer fooling, Michael, and mind yer work. 

Mich. When politicians cry, stop thief. 

The country soon will come to grief. 
When thee and me get married. Rose, 
Then we'll creep down to sweet repose, 
Under the bed clothes, I suppose. 
Rose, don't be turning up your nose. 
Or else I will your sweet mouth close. 
I'll bet five dollars on the Duke, 
That Catherine will unto him hook. 
You are my little honey Rosie, 
Though freckled be your little nosie. 
Michael hugs Rose and tries to steal a kiss. 

Rose. "Stop yer ticklin', Jock," O Jock, 
Or else I'll gi' yer nose a poke ! 
This is neither time nor place 
Your pointless humor to unlace. 
Get on yer kilts, get on yer kilts 
And show yer stilts, and show yer stilts. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 113 

Betting's against the Governor's orders now, 

Mike, 
The same as drinking Sunday beer over in New 

Jersey. 

Mich. Sure and fat use have the Jerseyites for Sunday 
or weekday beer ; they have free charity foun- 
tains over there. 

Rose. Charity covereth a multitude of sin. Who pays 
for the drinks? 

Mich. They say Jersey water's infested with ring- 
worms. 

Rose. The Jersey water is all right, Michael ; it is her 
political scum and the miasma from comets' 
tails. 

Mich. I have heard of being born under the influence 
of evil stars, but that is all superstition, Rose. 

Rose. It is the ghosts of commercial pirates that bring 
political scab in the darkness like the mos- 
quitoes, which spread malarial parasites. 
They are winged devils ! Who are coming 
to the reception, Michael? 

Mich. Senator Gamster dressed in green, 
A greater man than "Gretna Green." 
Sen. plays a new tune every day ; 
The Senator's hens forever lay. 
Sen's making money every day 
Because he knows which cards to play. 

Rose. Here come the Duke and Prince; they look at 
everything they see. French nobility, eh? 



114 ELENORE 

Mich. Mustachios encompass their eyebrows like the 
Emperor's ! Their face's Hke the moon look- 
ing through hirsute clouds. 

Mich. That's the fashion in Germany and in France 
and Italy among the hotels and the nobility. 
The mustachio ends are often wound three 
times around the ear in order to better con- 
duct sweet sounds into it. 

Rose. What are you giving me, Michael ? Have never 
seen what you describe. 

Mich. Well, then it is to exaggerate the head, and give 
it the appearance of a Brobdingnagian. Peo- 
ple with large heads look down upon "The 
globe and all which it inherit" as Lilliputian. 
There are some mouths large enough to swal- 
low the earth alive. 

Rose. Oh, what a big lie, Mike. 

Mich. No, it would lie in one of the mammoth mouths 
of the sun. 

Rose. You are a great wind-bag, Mike! 

Oh, look at the length of their shoes, Michael ; 

they must wear trombones on their toe points. 
Mich. Rose, darling, you grow sweeter every day. 
Rose. Go away, you delight in teasing me. 
Mich. Here they come ! 

The Duke and the Prince zvalk around looking at the 
objects of art. 

Duke. Prince de Mandelieu, this room is large, 
But everything is out of harmony. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 115 

It partakes of everything and nothing. 
The decoration is all out of place; 
See those roses there on lily stems, 
Those almond blossoms on fig tree branches. 

Prince. Perhaps the artist did intend it so. 

Freedom of art is now the general cry. 

'Tis by no means a cheap contribution 

To American art. The colors are gorgeous! 

Duke. Those pieces here are not antique, nor even 
Good imitations. 

Prince. You must remember, Duke de Portofino, 
It costs more to manufacture a good 
Imitation than the genuine is worth — 
It represents capital wisely invested! 

Duke. That may be so with antique imitations ; 
It is not with interior decoration. 
Our decorators would simply laugh at that 
Stencil schoolboy practice on garden walls. 

Prince. Dear uncle, you are prejudiced in favor 
Of the French and Italian artists. 
'Tis the employer's fault. I have been told 
They will not let the artist display his talent; 
They pay as much for an inferior job 
As for a thing of art. What is the difference? 
The owner knows no better. 

Duke. Americans are more adept in politics 

Which I compare with game of "Get the Stuff." 
And all aspire to reach the "Honorable." 
Some sons of liberty begin on "Tips ;" 
Sell their constituents, and vote away 



ii6 ELENORE 

The property and interests of the State 
To buccaneers and thievish corporations. 
They are branded as clever rogues and educated 
Burglars, but they are despised by honest 
Men and women. 

Prince. But we as a nation cannot point 

The finger of scorn ; we are "tipsters." 

Duke. It is true we tax the stranger with keeping 
The service in our public hostelries. 
That is gratuitous, not bargain and sale, 
As in the case of the professional crook 
In politics. 

Enter Blenore and Catherine. 

The Prince rushes toward Blenore and on bended knee 
kisses her hands, then he rises to embrace but is re- 
pulsed. The Duke bows gracefully to Catherine, then 
clasps her to his bosom, kissing her profusely. The 
smacks are heard all over the room. Catherine is 
beaming with delight. Michael and Rose are much 
interested. 

Cath. Pray do not kiss my breath away, dear Duke. 

Duke. I am so glad to be with you again. 

Michael steals a kiss of Rose. Duke de PortoHno and 
Catherine move around the room and converse privately. 

Prince. Sweet Elenore! 

My joy is such that I cannot express 
In any sound or language but that of love, 
The which is felt yet cannot be expressed. 
Oh, but the interval since last we parted 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 117 

Has been to me like tedious convalescence 
After a parching fever, sweet Elenore; 
But now I feel like brigand winds which sweep 
Down from the rugged mountain crests along 
The shores of the Mediterranean Sea. 
Fain would I, like a brigand wind, lift 
You in my arms and bear you hence. 

Blen. Dear Prince de Mandelieu, the compliment 
Seems to shut the door upon my humor; 
I fear I am too heavy for the Prince's 
Romping wind. At least I feel unworthy 
And lack the element of an ardent lover. 
In feminine essentials, I might pass 
As one of Dian's hunters within the forest. 
But recently I told my Auntie Catherine 
The shortest way to happiness does lie 
In segregation of the sex. 

Prince. Drive not love's fever to despair, my sweet, 
Nor treat with disrespect the unfortunate, 
Whose only fault has been in permitting 
A lofty friendship to glide into love. 
Most tenderly and ardently I love you. 

Blen. Men blow loving phrases as wind 
Blows dust into unsuspecting eyes. 

Prince. Had I ten thousand hearts' and souls' essences, 
All at your feet would I lay them down. 
'Twas this soul-haunting love brought me here. 
Nor night, nor day, or since we parted. 
Has Prince de Mandelieu found rest! 

Blen. Sincerity of effort commands respect. 



ii8 ELENORE 

Doubtless your love is manly and sincere. 
Your speech is plain, no room is left for doubt ; 
But I have not considered matrimony! 

Prince. May not have been necessary ere this ; 

A worthy beggar may not have knocked before. 
Do come and reign as Prince superior. 
I crave your beauty and womanly perfection. 
I am not poor although I am a beggar. 
Honor my suit, coy Elenore. 

Blen. As I conceive, dear Prince de Mandelieu, 
The subject, now is overgrave and serious 
To rush headlong without due meditation. 

Prince. Love needs not meditation; it is imperative! 

Blen. The timorous swimmer stands upon the shore 
Enraptured by the stately swing o' the sea 
Beyond the bar, where Neptune's steeds take 

rein ; 
Breaking in fearful surge, rearing aloft 
Their convolute crests; plunging in foaming 
Fury to the strand, whereon they vanish. 

Prince. I get not your meaning, Elenore ! 

Blen. The timorous swimmer follows receding wave, 
Wades boldly in to girdle deep, when lo ! 
Out on the bar another monster breaks; 
Prospective fear his fortitude ensnares. 
And sprawling in the surf, opines he's drowned. 
Behold ! a kindly providential wave 
Tosses him to safety on the beach. 
Dear Prince, the stately matrimonial sea 



LOVES CONQUEST 119 

I see beyond the bar, but I prefer 

Being buffeted at least awhile by breakers. 

Prince. How can you be so cruel, Elenore ? 

Blen. Dear Prince, your love commands respect. 
But like a balky mule, my heart says no. 

Prince. Oh, say not so! All which I inherit. 
Together with myself shall ever remain 
In bond till your sweet lips do break the seal. 

Blen. Oh, say not so, dear Prince ! That is ungracious 
To the virtuous women of lovely France. 
The mothers of France, did not Napoleon say. 
Were the backbone of France, and her main- 
stay? 
In our benign Republic, and for lack 
Of patriotic spirit, the mother of Lincoln 
Did lie neglected in a homely churchyard 
Until a patriotic race-track gambler, 
For greed or love, named his famous filly 
"Nancy Hanks." France is the home of women 
Virtuous and unchaste as in the States. 

Prince. That inexplicable something is there; 

The which doth light the fire of sweet romance. 
Virtue and beauty are common property; 
But something comes all unforbidden, 
And like a birthmark it will not efface 
Even by excision, for it will come again. 
Love unrequited grows to madness, Elenore ! 

Blen. Ah! woe is me! 

Prince. Your cruel indifference may yet be fanned 
To amaranthine love, and like confluent 



I20 ELENORE 

Streams glide joyously down to the sea. 
Pray let me kiss your honeyed lips, my sweet? 
Oh ! do not turn away, it is no breach 
Of etiquette! 

Blen. Pray do not act so silly, most noble Prince ! 
I hate those French kissing exhibitions ; 
They act upon my liver as a vile sea-sickness. 
'Tis an improper, insidious form of lust 
Permissible only within small circles. 
Judas was a kissing criminal. 

Prince. Count me with the rare exceptions, Elenore. 

And make note of it, lest you forget. 

Bnter Lord Cashington and Nancy Budd. 
General greeting and conversation. 
Nancy. Society reports, sweet Elenore, 

You and the Prince de Mandelieu engaged. 

Ulen. Indeed ! stranger things have been reported. 
The truthful Yellow Journal's last edition 
reports your own engagement. See ! here it 
is ! I will read it. Nancy, the beautiful 
daughter of Senator Budd, financial magnate 
and capitalist, eloped with Lord Cashington of 
England to-day; their whereabouts a mystery. 
Senator Budd crazed by grief, and blames 
Mrs. Budd for deception and conspiracy as 
she supplied the funds for its accomplishment. 
Extra edition, "Juno's Messenger." 

Cash. Miss Elenore, in general the report is correct. 
My betrothed love and I came here to attend 
the Informal Reception, and then have you 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 121 

and the Prince witness our marriage in 
'The Little Church Around the Corner." I 
have made arrangements for twelve o'clock 
to-night. 

Nancy. How do those "Yellow Journals" ferret out 
privately news so quickly? 

Cash. Because they are not subsidized. The inside 
schemes and workings of corporations are 
often projected first by newspapers and maga- 
zines which are published in their interest. 
To get news, the truthful "Yellow Journal" 
has to do honest work, and depend on its own 
efforts to make it pay. About half your news- 
papers and magazines are in some way in- 
fluenced, I believe, and so mislead the public. 
There are two species of "Yellow Organs," 
one hunts down the thieves and murderers 
of the constitution, and champions the peo- 
ple's rights; the other, a yellow scurvy dog 
which feeds on political bait and corporation 
carrion, and spreads political disease. His 
masters are the "Boss" and the dishonest 
corporation. He wears a mask and muzzle, 
especially when on the trail of booty and in 
defense of his master's quarry. 

Prince. Landed at last, noble Lord Cashington. You 
may now pay your debt to me, as well as 
your score at Monte Carlo. 

Cash. Keep still. Prince de Mandelieu, or else I will 
expose you. Two of a kind should never 
fall out ! 



122 ELENORE 

Prince. I am not in your class, my noble lord ; you owe 
me yet five thousand francs ; I pay my debts. 

Cash. You may perhaps when you have money, but 
you are perpetually broke. 

Prince. You lie and you must meet the challenge! 
Pistols, swords, gloves or walking canes? 

Cash. Walking canes, the latest Paris innovation. I'll 
wipe the street with you ! 

Prince. Walking canes upon the street or some well- 
lighted alley down among the sky-scrapers. 

Cash. Name the umpire. 

Prince. A distant relative of Cyrano de Bergerac is in 
this city; I'll notify him. 

Cash. I'll plug his nose too. Prince de Mandelieu, if 
Coquelin's not there. We'll make it a play on 
noses. 

Prince. You insult me ; take that ! 

The Prince makes a plunge for Lord Cashington but 

he dodges and returns by delivering the Prince a loud 

slap on the ear. 

Blen. Michael, conduct Lord Cashington and Miss 
Budd to the dining room. 

Blenore and Prince de Mandelieu stroll around the 
room. 

Cath. O how I do enjoy your visit, sweet Duke; our 
expectations are partially realized whereby 
we may, in small degree, show our apprecia- 
tion of your kindness to us when we were in 



I 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 123 

your native land. Your kindly ministrations 
made our sojourn more pleasant to me than 
even in our home. 

Duke. My dear Catherine, I'm glad to be with you 
even for a little while, for we must take the 
early morning or rather midnight train back 
to Washington, in order to complete my self- 
imposed task. I promised my secretary to be 
back early, and feel under obligation to duty. 
You look more sweet than ever, Catherine, 
more dignified, more courtly, more fit com- 
panion for a duke, and your niece, Elenore, 
is doubly sweet. 

Blen. Dear Portofino, pray do not my aunt offend; 
she is quite full of temper since she breathed 
the Alpine air, and may, perchance, feel 
jealous of your praise of me. 

Cath. Now, now, Elenore, pray do not fill my breast 
with that sits smiling in your own ! A maid- 
en's joke you know how to appreciate. 

Duke. I do, sweet Catherine, a young or old maid — 
Oh! I made a mistake! Maids never grow 
old like bachelors, although you have a saying, 
*'A man or woman is not older than they 
feel." 

Cath. I do most heartily subscribe to the adage. I 
think it silly to lay one's self down on Time's 
doorstep to rot. 

Duke. Right you are, Catherine, you speak wisely. 
The problems of this world are being solved 



124 ELENORE 

by men and women whose hair is silvery; 
there are no grey hairs in their brains nor 
hearts. In the States you have some gay old 
Senators. 

Cath. Quite on a par with your French nobility. 
I'll not be led into the conservatory, for we 
might break the glass you know. 

Duke. You'd have to use your slipper? 

Cath. There are flower pots. 

Duke. I'll be detective and arrest my flower. Pray 
let us change the subject; to me relate the 
history of some of your antiques. 

Cath. I'm glad you made such request. Let us walk 
to the other end of the room, there are "Ob- 
jects of Art" that may interest you. Pay no 
attention to the servants nor clatter of dishes. 

Duke. I do not object to the clatter of dishes as much 
as the horrible roar and ear-rending shock 
given by the sledge-hammer wheels and clang- 
ing bells, and grinding brakes of your trolley 
cars. Your franchise exploiters should be 
tied to the wheels. I wonder how the people 
can bear it. 

Cath. Neither are so horrible as the screech of 
your French locomotive. Please do not speak 
so loudly because my brother and Senator 
Gamster deal in franchises. Gamster and his 
partners are very successful franchise brokers. 
My brother Mark says he can get anything 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 125 

through them for money and perquisites. 
They are general corporation procurers. 

Duke. Ah! I will be more cautious hereafter. This 
is a very elegant chair ; the carvings are good 
as any I have ever seen. 

Cath. That is a Louis the XIV. which my brother 
purchased from an antique art dealer. It is 
said to be the only one ever made in that 
style. 

Duke. There is another chair. I fail to recognize 
either the style or the period. 

Cath. That chair once belonged to the Black Prince; 
he found it in Egypt on a pillaging expedition 
or pilgrimage. Its history or pedigree I can- 
not recollect, but Senator Gamster, who pro- 
fesses to be an art connoisseur, could rattle 
off its ancestry like a cart load of street pav- 
ing blocks being dumped in his back-yard ; or 
at the crushing machine, where they are 
broken and sold again by him to the city. 

Duke. Who is this Senator Gamster? 

Cath. Oh ! he is a lawyer and politician by trade ; 
he is very influential, and makes a specialty of 
everything, and there is not a thing he does 
not know about. He claims he studied anti- 
quity and moral and political science in the 
Holy Land where he was a prize lecturer. 

Duke. Most astonishing record ; a genius ! 

Cath. Oh yes ! it was he discovered the great mystery 
of what they call the Great Sphinx, which is 



126 ELENORE 

now generally conceded to have a political 
meaning. Whenever my brother desires in- 
formation on any subject in politics or an- 
tiques, he sends for or goes to Senator 
Gamster. 

Duke. A veritable encyclopsedia. 

Cath, He has cost my brother a lot of money, but he 
always says he gets it back in barrels full 
through his trickeries and criminal services, 
which he covers as the dog a bone. For 
gracious sakes, dear Portofino, keep it secret, 
if not for your own sake, for mine. Senator 
Gamster is awfully spiteful and he might 
tamper with the million dollars my brother 
deeded me the other day. I am that much 
richer since I left France. 

Duke. Nay, Catherine, Til never mention it, darling! 
To suspect me of such offends mine honor 
and detracts from your own. 

Cath. Pray do not take offense, dear Portofino ; it is 
my weakness, for I did not intend to impinge 
your honor or veracity. This, do you recog- 
nize? 

Duke. Oh, sweet Catherine! The locket with my 
picture I gave you as we sat under the royal 
palm in front of the grotto. I shall ever 
remember that eventful day. 

Cath. We sat listening to a minstrel quartette. One 
man sang in pleasant falsetto, alternating in 
baritone. 



LOVES CONQUEST 127 

Duke. He had a wonderful compass of voice; and 
oh, how sweetly breathed the flowers! But 
the sweetest voice and the sweetest flower 
was my darling Catherine. 

Cath. Now, now, like all the rest of the men, even 
down to my own brother, you are always 
making fun for yourselves at women's ex- 
pense. My dear, you delight to tease ! 

Duke. Nay, my darling! teasing women is a passion 
exotic to my nature. Frivolity, especially in 
love affairs, I despise. I've never sought the 
hand of any woman except yours, Catherine, 
but now as the years creep by, I feel I would 
derive more happiness in sweet retirement 
with a substantial woman whose love would 
transmute all the ills of life to gold. I'll 
finish up my business in Washington and sail 
with you on the same steamer, and after 
landing, we'll to the church at Eze upon the 
mountain top and there bow at Hymen's 
altar. Half your fashionable marriages in 
the States, for lack of love or common sense, 
end in divorce. 

The Duke de PortoHno strays away from Catherine 
and talks with the Prince and Blenore. 

Catherine (aside). 

Cath. Fortune has fallen to me as a whirlwind had 

gathered it in wreaths about my feet. Good 

gracious, Catherine, you never before realized 

your charms. Should I at once consent, he 



128 ELENORE 

will opine I was only too glad to accept his 
offer. I must tell him I had several offers. 
There is Johnson, but I will never mention 
that ugly brute Gamster, who sent me pretty 
valentines before he married his present wife. 
The Duke has a palace, a retinue of servants ; 
the news seems too good to be true, but it is 
true, for I have seen it. Portofino, my heart 
and hand too are yours ! 

Duke returns. 

Duke. Dear Catherine, I am interested in that paint- 
ing, "Satyr carrying away Venus." The name 
of the painter I note is indistinct. 

Cath. Senator Gamster sent over to the British Mu- 
seum for its pedigree in order to settle a 
dispute between him and St. John Murphy, 
the State Geologist. That very painting was 
done by Michael Angelo in Florence, Italy, 
when he was only sixteen. Gamster bought 
it from a politician who found it among a 
lot of other junk up in the attic of what was 
once the house of one of the original "Tweed 
Ring," whom Gamster served as page. It cost 
my brother many thousands of dollars. Sena- 
tor Gamster says it represents Satyr's flight 
with Venus to these United States ; and it is 
conjectured they sowed the seeds of divorce 
and political honesty in prolific soil. Gamster 
places great value on it because it furnishes 
a connecting link to past and present morals 
and politics. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 129 

Duke. Does your brother play the violin ? That looks 
a fine old instrument? 

Cath. My brother does not play, but he has a most 
inordinate desire to obtain curios and antiques. 
That violin was once the property of Pagan- 
ini's great grandfather, and from him it found 
its way to Ole Bull who played on it in all his 
concerts on his last tour of the States. Ac- 
cording to Senator Gamster it is a genuine 
Cremona. He claims he purchased it from 
the widow of the great virtuoso. Of course 
it has lost its name, but I am informed they 
do steal the names out of old fiddles. 

Duke. Gamster may have stolen the name and placed 
it in a cheap fiddle. 

Cath. He is fit for the job; maybe he did. 

Duke. A famous name has often been tarnished; 
see how they tried to disgrace the name of 
Marshal Lannes with Zola's body in the 
Pantheon. This fiddle is in a most astonish- 
ing state of health, but that is no criterion ; it 
is often the case with Egyptian mummies. 
Does Senator Gamster play the fiddle? 

Cath. He claims he did play very artistically before 
he tumbled into practical politics. But now 
says his finger nails are so sharp they mutilate 
the gut. 

Duke. That is a most beautiful stuffed cat, so regular- 
ly striped, although her sides are hollow and 
her jaws sunken. 



I30 ELENORE 

Cath. That stuffed cat was given me by a friend of 
Senator Gamster's; she is a cross between a 
tiger and a mongrel who were brought up 
together in the palace of the Grand Lama. 
She suffered shipwreck off the Scotch-Irish 
coast of England, swam ashore, and was 
educated by a cousin of the Senator's. Every- 
thing in this house has a history. 

Duke. It is indeed surprising to see in a new country 
so much interest exhibited on the subject of 
natural and political evolution. It seems, 
after many enterprising gentlemen have a- 
massed fabulous fortunes, like Napoleon's 
generals, their next hobby is honesty and 
antiques. They preach honesty, and the hang- 
man's rope for petty thieves, and immunity 
for Captain Kidd's successors. But public 
scorn haunts them like ghosts and spurs them 
on to deeds of charity. Your charity con- 
tributions are very large in the States. 

Cath. There is a lot of good done through selfish 
motives, but that matters not to the recipients. 
Please do not speak so loud; Gamster hates 
me because I refused his attentions. 

Duke. There is one subject that never grows old, and 
all men and women have to solve it for 
themselves and in their own way. Until I 
met you, sweet Catherine, my heart never 
left its orbit, but now it circulates round your 
dear heart. I am so glad you are about to 
leave your disagreeable surroundings. The 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 131 

time is short. What is the matter, dear ? You 
seem troubled. 

Cath. You know, sweet Duke, you caught me un- 
awares. I dare not consent without — con- 
sulting. 

Duke. What man are you under obligation to? 

Cath. A wealthy gentleman has been begging me to 
marry him for several months, but I made no 
rash promises to him. I felt sorry for him 
and had not the heart to say no, positively, 
as perhaps I should, but I told him to go 
elsewhere, as I could not enjoy another's old 
sweetheart. 

Duke. Dear Catherine, that was sufficient. Had you 
the heart to tell me go elsewhere what inter- 
pretation might I place on it ? 

Cath. Why, go and come no more. 

Duke. Men and women are sent to jail and get 
divorced on much less evidence. Have you any 
witnesses ? 

Cath. Michael and Rose may have heard me. Oh, 
that awful Gamster, see him look at me! 

Duke. You will soon be out of his reach, and should 
he follow, I will dispatch him quickly. 

Cath. Sweet Duke, it does indeed worry me. Sena- 
tor Gamster knows I hate him and he would 
me ensnare if it were possible, although he be 
my only brother's ass. Oh, hold me, I faint ! 
I faint ! 



132 ELENORE 

Rose. Michael, run for the restoratives, Catherine's 
fainted away in the Duke's arms! Never 
mind, she's coming to again! The Duke has 
a bottle of smelling salts and knows how to 
use them. 

Cath. Oh, my sweet Jupiter! My Olympus! I hate 
American men, especially politicians like 
Gamster and Johnson. 

Duke. I don't wonder, my sweet Goddess Fortuna; 
"Business is like oil, it mixes with nothing." 
"The American wishes to act and amass gold." 
"Ours has always desired to please and win 
affection." As well as feminine fortune. "He 
ruminates his thought in silence." We rum- 
inate upon multi-millionaires' daughters, and 
invite them to come to us and be happy. The 
American business man knows not how to 
love. 

Mich. See her now. Rose, holding fast to his neck. 
How gracefully he delivers his favors, almost 
as fast as a modern Maxim gun. A "repeat- 
er" at the polls on Election Day it not it with 
the Duke. 

Rose. See how Catherine turns up her face. I never 
saw her looking so tenderly sweet. 

Mich. The Duke makes be feel jealous. 

Rose. You don't understand the business, Mike ; your 

mouth is too clumsy. 
Mich. Repeat that not, my Oiympus game. 

Else will I yer sweet mouth taste and tame. 



LOVES CONQUEST 133 

When Venus gets divorced of Mars 
Then she will marry Vulcan. 
No more those vile domestic wars; 
No more domestic sulkin'. 

Rose. Yer wit hung too long over the fire, Mike ; it's 
singed if not roasted. 

Mich. It's hot, Rose ; look out, it will burn you ? 

Rose. I'll cool it in frozen salt. 

Mich. Broken ice will cool it quicker. 

Rose. There's too much ice in it already. 

Mich. Leroux used fifteen dictionaries and forty-two 
books of reference to get the prescription. 

Rose. It was well worth the time; sentiments like 
Leroux's are not cheap if his time is worth 
anything. He is a French word scientist, I 
believe, and a distant relation of Mount- 
Bellows. 

Mich. Drop ammonia on it. 

Rose. No, chloroform. 

Mich. When Venus gets divorced of Vulcan, 
Then she will marry Mars ; 
That will end domestic wars. 
And men and women's sulkin. 
Of all the flowers on earth that grow. 
You are the only one I know. 

Rose. Blarney-stone wit, Mike! Stone dead! Like 
"The harp that once through Tara's Halls." 
It's dumb, Mike ! It's dumb I 



134 ELENORE 

Mich. Come where my love lies sleeping 

Down where the willows are weeping, 
Down by the side o' the old mill stream, 
On the flowery banks where sweet maids dream, 
And the water sparkles in the bright moon beam. 
And the fly catches trout in the old mill stream. 
I wish you were a fat trout, Rose ; 
My fly I'd cast around your nose. 
Rose. I wish you were a big pumpkin, Mike, I'd stew 

you ! Hush ! 
Cath. Sweet Duke, through your kindly administration, 
I am revived ! I felt your soft touch all through 
the spell ; but for my life I dared not open my 
lips, they were so sweetly sealed. Oh! My 
sweet Olympus, my milieu, you administered 
a philter. I feel it from my mouth down to 
my feet. Oh ! this sweet French love's like 
honey mixed. I hate American men! Oh! 
those lovely Frenchmen ; let me die here in 
your strong loving embrace, Portofino You 
gave me a philter. 
Duke. Nay, my sweet goddess, I used no witchcraft 
or spurious drugs. But soul draws soul 
into one orbit; and when the climax is 
reached, it's called a "planetary transit" or 
'Xove's Aflinity." You will find it in 
"L' Amour aux Etats-Unis." It's perfectly 
mundane, and highly humane, and essentially 
a French mixture. 
Cath. It felt so nice, I would prolong its stay. 

But like Lord Buddha's star, it fled away. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 135 

Rose. Those transits must feel good, Michael ; Cath- 
erine goes into them so often. 

Mich. Suppose you try a Leroux spilter on me, Rosie. 
Hold up your little mouth. Hush ! 

Cath. Before you leave, sweet Duke, we'll talk it 
over. Pray do not entertain debate with 
Gamster ; just nod your head and answer yes 
or no ; he'll try to draw you into argument. 

Duke. Should Senator Gamster insist on drawing me 
in his whirlpool rapids of wit and politics, I 
must, to be polite, reply. 

Cath. See his Judas face grinning like a grotesque 
combination of ape, fox and hyena. 

Duke. Do all your Senators look like Gamster? 

Cath. No. The only others I know are his partners; 
they represent a class who have their price all 
over the world, and they infest every govern- 
ment, and have from time immemorial. 
They represent the Corporation's General. 
The Mayor of Muckden ventured to be in- 
dependent once : "Who made you Mayor ?" 
He was squelched. This I heard him tell my 
brother. 

Duke. They own the town. 

Cath. Yes, nigh every town in the United States. 

Duke. What! Don't the people protest? 

Cath. Sell their votes, lots of them. 

Duke. I am glad you are coming with me. We will 
sail away together from Muckden. We have 
no parallel in French politics. 



136 ELENORE 

Cath. Gamster attends church and political funerals. 
When he cannot, he sends stacks of flowers 
with mournful regrets. He is the honorary 
President of the Board of Public Works, a 
Police Commissioner, Member of the Board 
of Charities and Correction, a life insurance 
director, a large bondholder in the Public 
Utilities Grab and Steal Trust, counsel-in- 
chief for the State Water and Land Grabbing 
Association, and a lobbyist in a Special Sense, 
with extraordinary powers and funds un- 
limited. He is in everything. 

Duke. He must be an ubiquitous rascal. Catherine, 
you know when your politicians are crooked 
your laws must be unjust, if not crooked too; 
propped up by a system of general "graft." 

Cath. Gamster keeps a stable of race horses, and used 
to be a partner of a defunct "Boss," who 
escaped to Ireland on r Mrate ship. He has 
his own bookmakers oi» the turf and loans 
his friends money when they book with his 
machine. He is as full of bluff as a whirl- 
wind with dust, and his tracks are always 
covered ; he is considered the very essence of 
a sportsman, and his friends will even fight 
for him. He has even succeeded in blinding 
the press, for at least once a week an article 
appears : Gamster's "Anti-Saloon Bill," Gams- 
ter's "Sunday Closing Bill," Gamster's "Anti- 
Race-track Bill," Gamster's "Corporation Tax 
Bill," Gamster's "Franchise Tax Bill," Gams- 



LOVES CONQUEST 137 

ter's "Insurance Surplus Bill," but they all 
mean Gamster's ''Political Bluff Bill," for he 
will kill them on the sly. His knife is greater 
than the flourish of his sword. 
Duke. Why, you are a politician, Catherine! 
Cath. That's what my brother Mark says. 

Enter Nancy Budd and Lord Cashington. 
Nancy. The table and service were lovely, Elenore; 
Lord Cashington and I fully enjoyed it. 
"Delay is dangerous." Why should you linger 
at the matrimonial gate, my dear Elenore? 
The Prince de Mandelieu and you are not 
strangers now. 
Prince. Thanks, dear Miss Budd, it's not my fault. 
I have begged for that sweet consummation. 
I've peal'd like lightning's thunder long and 

loud. 
But there's no rain in all the blessed heavens. 
Like Zephyrus, I've whispered 'mong the leaves. 
Yet no sweet whisper vibrates in mine ear. 
I've woo'd the flower as might the hungry bee. 
Yet no fond morsel yields her honeyed lips. 
Oh ! I would give the world to woo this maid. 
Come, be my intercessor, dear Nancy Budd! 
Nancy. Make this a double romance, dear Elenore. 
The Prince's manly love do not reject. 
Your nuptials we to witness, you to our's. 
What say you, my dear Lord Cashington? 
Cash. Thence we'll all to Washington and crave 

Senator Budd's forgiveness and get his blessing 



138 ELENORE 

Together with your mother's, which now we 
have. 
. The marriage contract signed and sealed, and 
then 
All sail for merry, merry England. 

Nancy. Oh ! won't that be stunning, and so cunning. 
And spend our honeymoon, yea, all together, 
And have our names entered on the lists 
With lords, and dukes and princes of the earth. 
Do give your consent, sweet Elenore. 

Exit Nancy Budd. 

Blen. Michael, show Lord Cashington his room when 
he is ready. 

Mich. I shall, Miss Elenore. 

Lord Cashington joins for a few moments Senator 

Stockwell, Gamster, and the Duke, and they engage in 

conversation which appears quite animated by the 

gestures. 

Prince. We have, sweet Elenore, a more refined 

Aristocracy in France; perfect in manners, 
And in dress unique ; even our commoners 
Are superior in manners and in dress 
To any other nation in the world. 
The English and Americans are uncouth 
Both in dress and manners. 

Blen. The subtle undercurrent which circulates 
Within the borders of your emulous 
Society makes life quite burdensome. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 139 

Through the unnatural restraints thereby 
Superimposed. One cannot be what he 
Or she desires either in dress or manner; 
What is correct to-day is incorrect 
To-morrow. Women of fashion waste half their 

time 
Standing gazing between adjustable mirrors 
Studying which to blame, the head or the hat. 
Some virtue sacrifice, others are driven 
To distraction by your Paris milliner. 

Prince. Sweet Elenore, there may indeed be something 
In your succulent arraignment 
Of fashion; I fail to catch the point you aim. 
Your fashionable American women waste 
More time peering in mirrors than ours in Paris. 

Blen. I've often wonder'd what would my mirror say 
Could it but speak or write in Pasquinade. 
Its thoughts, I opine, might run about as follows : 
Sweet Elenore! You are a perfect beauty; 
But to enhance perfection, one feather more ; 
Another purple mole plant on your cheek; 
Then don't forget to pink your ears, for they 
Look delicate ; around your eyes a wee 
Shade darker; and your sweet lips please don't 

forget ; 
And round the playful dimples in your cheeks. 
Make a sweet nest for Cupid, wings and all : 
Super-perfection now sits upon your crown. 
Your painter and your milliner now cast 
Derisive eyes down at your dressmaker. 

Prince. Sweet Elenore, art enriches nature ; 



140 ELENORE 

Nature and art have always been akin; 

Nature recognizes art — art nature. 

Every animal practises art; 

I am not sure but every plant as well? 

Your argument is lame and pointless; what 

think'st 
Your mirror would say of me? 

Blen. Your mustachio, dear Prince, is nearly 

Perfect; do spend more time in twisting it; 
Screw it around until it veils your eyebrows; 
Screw it harder, and pull it as you twist, 
Then will you look as valiant as a king. 
Five more inches add to your boot toes; 
Your coat does meagre justice to your form; 
More padding around the shoulders and the 

back ; 
Your tailor clipped your trousers legs too short. 

Michael conducts Lord Cashing ton up to his dressing 
room which is next to Nancy's. 

He ought toVe left five inches to fold up. 
Your hat a different shade of meadow green, 
A peacock feather slip behind the band, 
Wear a collar exact six inches deep 
To raise your chin to ten or twelve degrees 
As if in poise to watch the Sun's eclipse. 
Now doth perfection deck your manly form. 
It is most fortunate, Prince Mandelieu, 
That fashion sheets and magazines, and not 
The looking-glass, are fashion's critics. 

Prince. Sweet Elenore, with you I must agree, 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 141 

The glass would be a most unpopular critic. 
The crazy pattern-maker thinks anything 
Ridiculous must become the rage. 
Only those who wear a blouse do live 
And die comfortably. I will say anything 
To please you. 

Blen. I love, dear Prince, that freedom born of nature, 
Which like the winds infuriate the waves, 
Assail the aspiring mountain tops, or sink 
Into a low sweet whisper as 'twere of love 
And feelings of regret. Multi-voic'd wind! 
I've heard thee howl, and screech, and wail, and 

sigh, 
And moan, all in a breath. Nature speaks 

truth ! 
Oh God! that all mankind were natural! 

Prince. Had I the harp and skill of Orpheus, 

Whose music made rocks and trees to follow 

him. 
And charmed the demons in the lower regions ; 
E'en Pluto did relent and gave him back 
His lovely Eurydice, but like Lot's wife 
She turned a wistful gaze upon the phantom 
Shades. O^ sad mischance that did the world 
Bereave of Orpheus' successor. Had I 
The power, sweet maid, to charm your heart, 

I would, 
Like Orpheus, charm you to my kingdom. 

Blen. To use your art to charm against my will 
Would be unkind. Like lovely Eurydice, 



142 ELENORE 

I might look back and then go back to my 
Old home as some have been compelled to do 
With burdens imposed equal with Sisyphus. 

Prince. Our time is limited, sweet Elenore. 
O say you will be mine. 

Blen. My thoughts, dear Prince, are on another jour- 
ney, 

Reveling with Dian's Amazons, 
Hunting bear and shaggy buffalo, 
Where at the closing of the day, we meet 
By Arethusa's Fountain, in the cool shade ^^A 
To welcome Iris gamboling in the spray; ^* 

Departing hour wherein the God of Day — 
Grandeurs all nature by his farewell beams; 
Waking the soul of harmony within 
The enchanted grove, where female chastity 
Sits enthron'd under his golden canopy. 

Prince. Oh ! that had I the power of Orpheus. 

Blen. Orpheus did charm the heart of Pluto, 
But I as yet have no desire to enter 
A matrimonial purgatory, maybe worse; 
Rather would I be singly buffeted. 
As yet I'm not my heart's custodian ; 
Like restless bird, it jumps from branch to 

branch. 
Oh ! my stupid heart it will not go. 
Dear Prince, whether I say yes or no. 
Hush! Senator Gamster and the Duke 
Have entered on some arduous debate. 

Prince. The Duke will speak his mind, he will not 
wrangle. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 143 

But he is not familiar with your politics. 
Social and political problems of late 
He has been studying, but the field 
Is broad and complicated, and he is but 
A novice yet, unfit to hold his ground 
With an expert, although he may debate 
To gain information. 

Bien. It's a case of feigned political ''brain storm" 
With Senator Gamster. He's insincere 
In everything except political "graft." 
Principle and honor in him lie dormant, 
Submerged in mud never to rise again. 
He boasts fine formed head and classic face. 
When waiting for father, he struts around the 

room 
Just as you see him doing this very moment, 
Capering in front the looking-glass. 
And then he'll press his nose against the plate; 
Then step by step retreat, pose and advance, 
Just as you see him doing this very moment. 
And every time he looks surprised and pleased, 
As if he'd made some new discovery 
Around his pole ; perhaps exploring new 
Rascalities. 

Prince. Perhaps admiring nature's handiwork. 
His lank, lean jaws are ravenous. 

Blen. See the way he swings his ape-like arms; 

Now he's bending downward as 'twere laying 
The foundation ; and step by step raising 
His hands; now he has reached the giant cap- 
stone ; 



144 ELENORE 

Now he is busy sculpturing the wreath ; 

Now in the delicate leaves carving the veins ; 

He even tips his nose to smell the rose ; 

He's forming now volute, and egg, and dart; 

Now he pauses to explain the heavy 

Significance of the egg as a prime factor 

Within the realm of nature and shady politics. 

How by constant or inconstant sitting 

It may lose or yet retain its virtue. 

Oh! did you hear his last expression, dear 
Prince ? 

"Nothing in the world smells equal with 

A dilatory egg, but rotten politics. 

Parasites destroy the tree of State." 

Now he's down to what he terms facts. 

His public hobby-horse is Virtue. 

Draw closer, dear Prince, and hear both sides. 

Keep your ears open and listen to the thief 

Hang himself with words. 

Pardon, I pray, Prince de Mandelieu, 

I must assist sweet Nancy Budd 

Prepare for the nuptials. 

B.rit Blenore. 

Lord Cashington returns and listens to the debate. 

Senator Stockwell, Senator Gamster, The Duke de 

PortoHno, Prince de Mandelieu, and Lord Cashington. 

Aunt Catherine, Rose, Michael and servants are now 

on the stage. 

Gamster. Do further express your views, most noble 
Duke de Portofino. 

Duke. A commonwealth, I claim, cannot long exist 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 145 

when there is within her border an unscrupu- 
lous class forever battering down the walls of 
justice and then seem to find protection and 
immunity in law. "A kingdom divided against 
itself cannot stand." Your State's resources 
and public property are often considered as 
legitimate booty as the burglar considers a 
safety vault. Mr. "Vested Rights" issues 
bonds chiefly to himself, and floods the 
market with watered stock, and through 
his brokers sells the people back — What? 
America has taught the world high finance. 
Corporations provide for their tools. There 
is not a city hall, court house, or public 
institution but your corporation creatures fill 
perhaps two-thirds the offices and are paid 
by the State. Corporations make the State 
pay their ignominious tools. How a freeborn 
people can stand to see it done while they 
hold the power to correct the evil in their 
own hands is a mystery to me, a Frenchman. 

Cash. Most noble Duke de Portofino, you hit the 
nail, but not hard enough. The corporations 
cannot play the game of confiscation of public 
property in England, nor in any of our British 
possessions. The Englishman would not 
stand for it. The trouble in the United States, 
with few exceptions, is, that the standard of her 
politicians is at zero, and two-thirds of the 
voters are either asleep or too busy to perform 
a citizen's duty. Therefore it is only a ques- 



146 ELENORE 

tion of a few years when the remainder of the 
pubHc domain will have passed into the hands 
of corporations. The people can blame them- 
selves. 

Gamster. Gentlemen, the evils you have enumerated, 
and the charges you have brought against our 
political system, do not exist. We have still 
remaining to the credit of Uncle Sam billions 
of tons of coal and iron ore, billions of feet 
of lumber, and hundreds of billions in mineral 
wealth which have not been confiscated by 
this — what you term — legalized system of 
corporate brigandage. One half of our Ripar- 
ian rights and over half our streams, rivers and 
water courses have not been throttled by the 
thieves, nor have they gone under the politi- 
cians' auction hammer, but are still in the 
hands of the State. Of our coal oil alone, I 
cannot boast. I care not, for I don't use 
kerosene or oil fats. But it is strange that 
an Englishman and a Frenchman of extra- 
ordinary ability and distinction should come 
here and accuse our exemplary government 
of piracy and conspiracy against the public 
domain, when, in France and England the 
common people hardly own a foot of the land, 
because it was stolen from them centuries ago 
by an organized band of the biggest robbers 
and pirates that ever scuttled ship. It is a 
wise provision of nature that the records of 
both nations and individuals rot. It is good 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 147 

politics to preach righteousness because we 
do not want our children to follow our ex- 
ample. Precept has always been counted 
above example in every age. I tell you, gentle- 
men, it is always safe and profitable to follow 
the men who exploit a country, for exploita- 
tion means development in the highest sense 
because it prepares the way to a government 
for and by the people. The duty of a pro- 
fessional politician is to sit on the fence as 
long as he dare without betraying his friends, 
for we must watch the people, as the old crow 
the farmer and his gun. I have been in- 
formed that any decent hypocrite in France 
and in England may scale the political fence 
and land his booty much the same way as we 
do here. Honesty in public service of any 
kind is now a secondary consideration. Even 
Christian governments will steal inventions 
from each other. What then may be expected 
of a common politician? England has seen 
her best days, and France is a nation of fash- 
ionable mendicants and legalized gamblers. 
Monte Carlo is a disgrace to our civilization ; 
it is the Elysium of a dilapidated aristocracy ; 
the scum of the upper ten of every nation 
where men and women drink and gamble 
often until the shroud of the suicide covers his 
face and the clods in the Potter's Field close 
over him who was driven by passion to an 
ignominious end. Gentlemen, you have not 



148 ELENORE 

studied our social and political system nor 
made a just comparison. 

Cash. At Monte Carlo, France, by night and day 
Around the tables gamblers sit and play. 
An angel whispers, "Now must you be gone ;" 
A roguish imp says, "No! you must play on.'' 
A flood of golden coin the gambler flings; 
Again the wheel spins round, the balance swings 
Twixt hope and fear. The stake is now for life. 
The gambler's mind is now in eager strife. 
The giddy cube of chance the bank supplies ; 
One player is burst, the other bankrupt flies 
From out Fortuna's gilded paradise. 
The blind hag cursing anon his foolish choice. 
Hell's gates are open, so the temple door. 
The suicide falls to the altar floor. 
For's home the bankrupt victim's fare is paid. 
The suicide in Potter's Field is laid 
At rest among the rotting olive leaves. 
Such is the tender charity of thieves. 

Duke. Senator Gamster, contrasts are amusing. 
Let me recite by way of comparison. 
Open and 'bove board quite unconcealed. 
By wheel and card one's fortune is revealed. 
Insurance, charity, installment plan 
Do often fail to bury wife or man; 
Although full forty times its cost they paid, 
With tots long dead in Potter's Field are laid. 
The brains of some men are forever plotting 
Nefarious schemes to something get for nothing ; 
If 't be illegal then they purchase law ; 



LOVES CONQUEST 149 

Fowls of a feather boast a common maw. 
Mergers, rebates, false values, watered stock, 
Are schemes of crooks adopted as a cloak 
To rob the State; increase the laborer's share 
In tax on everything they use or wear. 
Their wealth to increase, they kill the Consti- 
tution. 
Momentous problem demands a just solution. 
The subjects of the Prince de Monaco 
No taxes pay; so light they come and go. 

Mich. Some one on the 'phone, Senator Stockwell. 

Sen. S. Hello, who is this? 

Sen. B. This is Senator Budd. 

Sen. S. This is Stockwell. What can I do for you, 
Senator ? 

Sen. B. Block the game. 

Sen. S. What game do you mean? 

Sen. B. My daughter Nancy's marriage to Lord Cash- 
ington. Say : — Complete collapse of the multi- 
millionaire "Budd Trust." Senator Budd, 
penniless and a maniac, has been placed in a 
straight jacket. Understand? 

Sen. S. Leave it to me, Senator Budd. Michael, 
hand me this telegram after I thank the 
guests. 

Mich. Yes, sir. 

Bxeimt. 



ISO ELENORE 



ACT. IV. Scene 

ROOM IN STOCKWE:i,I, MANSION, N^W YORK. 

Bnter Blenore and Nancy Budd all dressed for the 
nuptial ceremony. The whole company on the stage. 

Senator Stockwell addresses his guests. 
Sen. S. Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you all. Most 
noble Duke de Portofino, I have enjoyed your 
visit and hope I may see you in France next 
winter. 

Michael hands a telegram to Senator Stockwell which 
he reads aloud. 

Senator Stockwell: — Bank examiner compell- 
ed the '''Budd Trust" to close its doors near 
midnight. Other people's money been used 
to exploit franchises; Senator Budd a maniac, 
and threatens to blow up the building and kill 
everybody; left penniless. 

Nancy. Oh! Cashington! Oh! Elenore! 

Nancy faints in Blenore's arms. 

Cash. I will for the doctor. 

(Aside) There is not enough money in it for me. 

Blen. Michael, go with him; haste! The shock 
may have killed sweet Nancy? Dear Prince, 
lay her on the lounge; I will unloose her 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 151 

garments and slip my mantle on her. Dear 
Nancy, speak to me, I am your friend. 

Nancy. Dear Elenore ! 

Nancy swoons. 

Rose. Leave her with me, Miss Elenore. 

Blen. Oh, I cannot leave my darling Nancy. Sweet 
innocent ! Oh, my sad heart ! 

Rose. Looks as death had print his seal on her. 

Her nimble fingers are growing cold and rigid; 
Her dark blue eyes assume a senseless stare; 
Her breast heaves not, nor any sign of breath 
Passes her nostrils nor her ashen lips. 
Oh, Miss Elenore ! Slightly she pressed my 
hand. 

Blen. 'Tis said the very instant death doth knock 
For entrance at the vital portals, the dying 
Doth signify instinctively by touch ; 
Just then the soul takes leave of flesh and blood. 
Rose, you may have shaken hands with death. 
Your physical sensation may have sprung 
From your desire to feel life's faintest impulse. 
I felt a fluttering about her heart. 
The doctor will be hear presently. 

Enter Michael and Doctor. 

Mich. A word. Miss Elenore. 

Blen. What news, Michael? 

Mich. Lord Cashington brought an "Extra" on the 
street, and he only went as far as the drug 
store on the corner. He told me to hurry for 



152 ELENORE 

the doctor and call for this letter on my re- 
turn. I received it from his own hands and 
he said, "I will return myself in half an 
hour." 

Blenore reads the letter aloud. 

Dear Miss Blenore Stockwell: — Should I not 
return in half an hour, count me with the 
dead; I cannot hear the humiliating disgrace. 
Adieu. Cashington. 

Blen. Impecunious cur! Who is disgraced? All 
the hells in Christendom could not disgrace 
a man without honor! 

Rose. Lucky interposition of Providence. 

Mich I never liked the cunning look of that fellow. 
If 'tis not death, it is his counterfeit; he is 
not far away, may thumb the latch. 

Nancy Budd revives and in her mantle. 

Nancy. Brute! He will never return. He stole 
My mother's money, and he did attempt 
To steal the crowning jewel from virtue's palace 
This hour in your bedchamber, Elenore! 
The hellish spell encompassing my heart 
Is broken, and my whole being trembles and 
Recoils as from a leperous devil. 
In my nightmare, I stood upon the famous 
"Rock o' Gibraltar," and looked across 
The narrow Straits to the Dark Continent 
Of Africa. My whole being trembled 
As I beheld a darker continent 



LOVES CONQUEST 153 

Beyond, which loomed like devastating plague 
From out the jaws of mercenary commerce 
And modern civilization. 

The lightnings blazed and leaped athwart the sky, 
And a voice thundered : "The end is near." 
In horror, I awoke! 

Exit Nancy. 

Blen. Angels never fell so low as man! 

Man doth partake of all the evil traits 
Of each and every form of life on earth. 
Man falls from purity to beastly dungeon ; 
Angels fall to reign in man's dominion; 
And in the art of evil are educated 
By man's superior subtlety. 

Gamster. Senator Stockwell, did you hear the charge 
that Nancy brought against Lord Cashington ? 

Sen. S. He robbed her of her money and tried to steal 
her maiden's jewel. After him, Senator 
Gamster; you know the ropes, you are a 
Police Commissioner and have the Detective 
Bureau at your command. But he may have 
caught the midnight train for Canada. 

Gamster. He would go to a resort somewhere in the 
''Tenderloin" district. You go to the club, 
get the particulars of the failure, and I will go 
to the central office. 

Sen. S. Call the Detective Bureau on the 'phone right 
now from here. 

Bxeunt Senators Stockwell and Gamster. 



154 ELENORE 

Duke. Dear Catherine, slip this ring on your finger ; 
it has been in the family two hundred years; 
it bears a charm and romantic history which 
at the proper time I will disclose. No living 
soul but you would I entrust with it; pray 
keep the secret. 

Mich. I'll take mine unturned on toast, Rosie. 

Rose. I'll take mine on the half shell, Mike. 

Cath. Just now, sweet Duke, I dare not accept; 
Johnson may sue me yet for breach of prom- 
ise. Gamster would take the case, I'm sure, 
against me; he hates me as he loves pigs' 
feet and money. 

Duke. Trust to Providence, my sweet Catherine; 
Johnson has no case against you, dear, except 
a case of Senatorial Bluff. 

Mich. I'll try ripe French game for a change. 

Rose. I'll have rooster's eggs this time, Mike. 

Mich. Fork over your purse to me. Rose. 

Cath. Divorce and bluff are Gamster's favorites ; he'd 
generate an eagle from a cocksparrow. 

Duke. Get out of his reach as quickly as possible. 

Cath. Dear Portofino, if ever I reach France or Italy 
I'll never again trust the broad Atlantic. 
There must we fling bouquets at the Prince 
and Elenore, for they must be brought to 
Hymen's feet. 

Duke. That will come in due time, Catherine. Women 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 155 

may aye be coaxed with kindness. I shall 
finish my business and sail on the same 
steamer with you, my dear. I must urge 
the Prince to hurry, for we must catch our 
train for Washington. 

Cath. It was a misfortune ; had not Lord Cashington 
been a rogue, there might have been a double 
romance. 

Duke. It is better. Nancy would have been wedded 
to Satyr. Adieu, my love! 

Bxeimt Catherine and the Duke. 

Prince. Before we part will not the glacier melt 
Into the spirit of sweet matrimony? 
Permit the honeyed breath of love to wake 
Your dormant soul; let Cupid's arrows pierce 
Your heart, Elenore. Say you are mine ! 

Blen. I have said all I can say, dear Prince; I am 
all upset by this catastrophe. Men as a rule 
are deceitful and insincere; I prefer to trust 
myself with myself, at least for the present, 
and should mishap o'ertake, I'll blame my 
foolish self. We may be spared to meet again 
under the shadows of the mountain sphinx; 
that name I give them because they do conceal 
a world's history in their dumb hearts. 

Prince. We'll study Esperanto in their shadow; a 
sorrowful adieu, sweet Elenore. 

Exeunt. 



156 ELENORE 



Scene 

house: in the: te:ndi:rloin. 

Gambling tables and cards. Wine, zvomen and revelry. 
Men and zvomen playing. 

Carroty-White. I will bet a hundred that Fanny can 
jump six inches higher than Delia. 

Cash. I will go you. Let's have the wine first. 

They all sit dozvn at the table and indulge in wine and 
cigarettes. 

Carroty-White. This reminds me of Monte Carlo, 
Cashington ! 

Cash. Very good imitation! 

Bnter Senator Canister and detectives. 

Detective. You are under arrest, Cashington! 

Cash. I protest the outrage and I will make you pay 
dearly for this illegal interruption. This is 
a private house, and it is an unwarranted 
intrusion. I am an English peer ! 

Detective. You are a natural son, and an adventurer, 
traveling on your brother's title and reputa- 
tion. 

Cash. I am the eldest son of the late Lord Cashington 
and I was educated and endowed by and 
brought up under his supervision, and he 
called me his son. I am in the direct line of 
James Stuart, Duke of York, the father of 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 157 

James Fitz James, who was his natural son, 
and here is my lineage according to the "Al- 
manach de Gotha" and ''Burke's Peerage." I 
inherited fifty-four titles. Read them over! 

Detective. You are an imposter, an adventurer. 

Cash. You lie ! I have committed no felony nor mis- 
demeanor ! If fault there be, it was my fath- 
er's, for I came first into the world and am 
the real Lord Cashington. No one has any 
cause for action against me except Miss 
Nancy Budd, for breach of promise. I have 
stolen nothing, and I protest against this 
outrage. 

Detective. Get on your coat and come with me. 

Gamster. My noble lord, I will defend you ! It is a 
shame to drag an English peer down on the 
level with a common drunk. Your arrest is 
illegal. 

Cash. "A friend in need's a friend indeed." Here is 
money. Senator Gamster, you take my case 
and get me clear, and I will leave the country 
at once. 

Aside to Lord Cashington. 

Gamster. Miss Nancy Budd urged you to accept the 
money ; you did not rob her of it ? 

Cash. She pleaded with me to take it and use it for 
whatever purpose I choose. 

Gamster. Just so ; your case is clear. I will get you off. 



158 ELENORE 

but you must keep your mouth shut and let 
me do the talking. 

Cash. The word is *'mum" and extra dry. You are 
a brick, Senator Gamster. 

Gamster. You will be placed in a cell ; think nothing of 
that; it is merely a preliminary matter: you 
must go through the ordinary form because 
the case will go on record. 

Cash. Please, Senator Gamster, keep it out of the 
books. This is the first offense — if it be an 
offense at all. Nancy Budd is better off. 

Gamster. If it goes on record, I will tear out the leaf 
and burn it. How much money have you got? 
This is not enough ! You received a hundred 
thousand dollars and you must divide. 

Cash. I lost ten thousand of it here, but I don't squeal 
like Van. Suppose the judge oppose your 
plea? 

Gamster. He dare not ; who made him judge ? We did ! 
Leave that all to me. We are not in it for 
fun. I want twenty-five thousand dollars, you 
see I must whack up with half a dozen hon- 
esties; in fact I will get nothing out of it 
except your good will. Oh! I forgot the 
Court expenses must be added! I will now 
return to Senator Stockwell, and will see you 
as soon as Court opens in the morning. When 
you are released you must skip at once, else 
you may be re-arrested and sent to the peni- 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 159 

tentiary for twenty years; thank your lucky 
star and skip. Thieves and murderers are 
lucky in this country when they've got money. 

Cash. I will never show face in this blooming country 
again; I will live and die at Monte Carlo. 
It's honest, you know, compared with this. 
This is the country of ''Star Chamber" thieves 
and exploiters of the poor. I'll make ten 
thousand on the ship if there are any lames 
on her. 

Gamster. As long as you are on the high seas you are 
all right. You are a brick, Lord Cashington. 

Cash. Have a drink, boys and girls, I'm going to leave 
you. 
"When I consider life 'tis all a cheat 
Yet fooled with hope, men favor the deceit." 

They all tip their glasses and drink. Senator Gamster 

proposes a toast in honor of Lord Cashington and they 

all sing, "For he's a jolly good fellow.'' Exeunt Lord 

Cashington, Senator Gamster and the detectives. 



Scene 
STOCKWElvIv MANSION. 

Senator Gamster enters. 

Gamster. What's the news. Senator Stockwell ? 

Sen. S. I returned a moment ago from the club and 
learned the "Budd Trust" failure is a canard 
gotten up for stock speculation or other un- 



i6o ELENORE 

accountable purpose. The "Budd Trust" of 
America has a thousand times the strength of •■ 
Gibraltar and the whole British Navy together, f 
It is supported by billions of dollars of sur- 
plus. Trusts, you know, help each other. 

Gamster. The report staggered me, knowing the char- 
acter of the shrewd enterprising "Board of 
Manipulators," and crooks who conduct its 
affairs. They can raise or lower the market 
to suit themselves and control the finances of 
the whole country. 

Sen. S. Heard anything of Lord Cashington? 

Gamster. Senator, he is in jail. It was, as I told you, 
a case of wine, women and gambling with 
him ; but Lord Cashington has committed no 
felony. Miss Nancy Budd pleaded with him 
to accept the money and to do with it as 
he pleased. The best thing we can do is to 
get him out of the United States. He is a 
professional gambler and desires to return to 
Monte Carlo. 

Sen. S. Get him out of jail at once; there he only 
increases the taxes and the people are howling 
loud enough now about exorbitant taxes. Buy 
his ticket and have a detective see him on 
board steamer for England, or conduct him 
across the Niagara River into Canada. 

Gamster. I will do my best to accomplish your desire, 
ril see the judge and pay all expenses, and 
charge the same to you. We have accom- 



i 



LOVE'S CONQUEST i6i 

plished greater feats in our lifetime, Senator 
Stockwell. 

Sen. S. It is now five o'clock ; I will be at your office 
during the forenoon. Tomorrow our folks 
sail for Europe. Get Cashington out of the 
way, but do not let him embark on the same 
steamer. 

Bxeunt Stockwell and Gamster. 
Enter Blenore and Nancy 
Blen. I have good news for you, sweet Nancy. The 
report of the failure was false. Lord Cash- 
ington is in jail and may be sent to the peni- 
tentiary for twenty years. He is a natural 
son and not the real heir ; an impostor. Sena- 
tor Gamster says England may send over a 
detective with extradition papers and he may 
get a life sentence in England. 

Nancy. What! for being a natural son? 

Blen. Maybe another Druce-Duke of Portland case ? 

Nancy. One never can tell; these English lords are 
capable chaps. 

Blen. Your lesson, Nancy, was cheap ; you escaped 
the snare of the fowler; no one will ever be 
the wiser. I told Senator Gamster to be sure 
never to mention it. You may, sweet Nancy, 
win the Prince de Mandelieu. 

Nancy. Don't talk to me about princes nor lords nor 
dukes; if ever I marry I will marry an 
American. 



i62 ELENORE 

Blen. One never can trust herself. The moth 
returns to the candle although her wings are 
singed. There is a charm hovers about a 
title. 

Uxeunt Blenore and Nancy. 



Scene 

ROOM IN STOCKWELL MANSION. 

Michael and Rose preparing for the voyage. 

Mich. Here's to the baggage smashers, Rose. Miss 
Catherine says everything must be roped; 
why not nail the tops down like dry goods 
boxes, or screw them down like coffin lids? 

Rose. All Miss Catherine's furs and fine hats are in 
this box. Let us seal it and then nothing will 
be stolen out. 

Mich. Oh, Rose, come sit on this lid with your full 
weight; there now! Nothing beats "sitting 
on the lid." Sitting brings out chicks; hold 
on till I tie a double knot, then it will not slip. 

Rose. The Duke wants a double knot tied, Michael. 

Mich. And the Prince too; he looks like a fellow 
who has lost his pocket-book and was looking 
for the other fellow's. 

Rose. Money is a good friend; cannot blame the 
Prince. A single knot, Mike, is safer than a 
double. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 163 

Mich. How do you figure that out, Rose? 

Rose. Before a double knot slips it will break; a 
single slips without breaking. 

Mich. What a lovely little joker you are, Rose, my 
angel. 

Rose. Now ye's poking sugar at me, Mikie. 

Mich. When the hurly burly's past. 

We will reach our home at last.. 
When the hurly burly's done, 
Mike and Rose will have some fun. 

Rose. When Venus gets divorced of Mars, 
Then farewell domestic jars. 

Mich. In effigy we'll hang Sir Cupid, 

Then will the fires o' love grow stupid. 

Rose. We'll catch old Satyr by the tail 

And drown him in the big slop pail. 

Mich. Then will our old maids die o' want 

The time they're saying, ''No, I shan't !" 
Oh, my sweet Rosie, 
My honey, honeyed posie. 

Rose. Mike, you are a dreamer, a Joseph ! 

Mich. And so you are going to leave me, darling? 
Pray do not go, I feel so lonely, really I am 
never happy except in your company, or not 
further away than I can hear or see you. 

Rose. Please do not hug and kiss me so, Michael; 
they are all astir and will be down presently ; 



i64 ELENORE 

you are only fooling, I see it in your roguish 
eyes. 

Mich, Rose, I am not joking, I mean every word. 
Never before have I felt the twitchings of 
love; I want, sweet Rose, to call the sub- 
stance mine. 

Rose. Now stop playing with me, Michael, for I 
know you are only making believe; you are 
after every girl you see; I saw you kissing 
Laura on the stairs yesterday. 

Mich. I wish you might feel the queer lump here 
about my heart and in my throat, then you 
would not say I am fooling. Oh, I cannot let 
you go. Rose; something might happen! 

Rose. Oh, we will be back next year, Michael, but 
you will have a dozen sweethearts by then. 

Mich. But there is none like you to me, Rosie. I care 
for none but you, my love. 

Rose. There is nothing in me to love, Michael, or 
you would have told me long ago, before the 
tickets were bought anyway. 

Mich. I never felt it until now, my darling; I told 
you soon after the real discovery. 

Rose. Still, there is nothing lovable in me, Michael. 
I despise myself because my heart is selfish 
and shallow. 

Mich. Do not say that again, Rose; when I was 
sick how tenderly your hands did minister 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 165 

unto me. Your hands felt like an angel's, 
and when you left me for the night, I cried 
and wept just like a baby for his mother. 
Please do not go. Rose; let Laura go, you 
stay here with me. 

Rose. Now, Michael, you are only teasing me ; I am 
so used to it I hardly know what you mean. 

Mich. When I fell sick it was for you, my darling. 
But I had not the courage to tell you so. I 
thought you might laugh at my predicament ; 
but now the time draws near to parting, I 
dare not keep the secret from you longer. 

Rose. Your sickness will pass like the clouds. "Out 
o' sight out o' mind," you know. 

Mich. With thee, sweet Rose, forever, lost to sight; 
Then would I pine and die without thy light; 
I'd rather choose to live on crusts and be 
Thy slave, and kiss the scourge applied by thee ! 

Rose. Dearest Michael ! I am unworthy of your love, 
I am not qualified to be a wife and mother, 
I am full of imperfections. 

Mich. Nought but perfection, Rosie, do I see. 
I swear, sweet love, I will be true to thee. 
I do, myself, most heartily despise 
Our faults, the assets, on which we realize. 
No wrong see I in trading with each other; 
Be my sweet love and I your only lover. 

Rose. Then, Michael, you think fair exchange is no 
robbery? Dear, are you in real earnest? 



i66 ELENORE 

Mich, I'd rather be your darling, Rose, than roll in 
millions. Be my sweet wife! 

Rose. I will think it over. 

Exeunt Rose and Michael. 

Enter Senator Stockwell, Catherine and Elenore. 
Sen. S. My sweet daughter Elenore, 

Although you are of age, yet of the world 
You lack experience. Some have acquired 
Polite education which spoils their manhood, 
And makes of them pedantic acrobats. 
Perchance you may meet many fortune hunters 
Whose rocket-like ambition is to mount 
The pinnacle at once and capture fortune ; 
Then build their fortune downward step by step 
Until they land upon the rocks again 
Whereon they lie waiting. another tide. 
Steadfast fortune begins down at the bottom, 
And step by step, and course by course, is laid, 
Until the structure's fashioned complete. 
'Tis then a monument unto the builder 
Which he knows how to replace or change 
As his matur'd judgment may deem correct, 
Keeping it in leash lest it may slip 
Into the surge that whirls around its base. 
Now, my sweet daughter, paternal solicitation 
Doth prompt this speech to you before you leave. 
Never forget your obligation first 
To yourself, then to your father and aunt ; 
To her you were entrusted by your mother. 
Never condescend to vile hypocrisy 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 167 

Nor other evasive form of low deception. 
Deception, perchance may be justified 
In marts of trade, in poUtics, or business, 
Or even in super-inquisitive social circles ; 
Never at home with one's own flesh and blood. 

Blen. Dear father, I realize fully every word. 

Sen. S. And now, dear Elenore, I hate to touch 
A most delicate subject, but your aunt, 
Great tears like bead strings falling from her 

eyes. 
Did me entreat to bring this up to-day, 
Being the last before you sail for France. 
She fears you have been playing false with her ; 
Unchaperoned you did attend the theatre; 
Your aunt you did refuse let go with you. 
Now, Elenore, that was most improper, 
A breach of written etiquette. 

Blen. The truth, dear father, is mixed with error, 
As most her carried stories seem to be. 
She's flooded her mind with fiction so of late, 
That now she sits upon his borderland. 
With not her eyes, but her imagination 
Focused on me ; she treats me as 
A heroine of fiction. I did not to 
The theatre go alone nor ever did ; 
Suppose I did, what harm might ensue? 
A woman's virtue is her sure fortress ! 
My old and trusted classmate went with me. 
My aunt is jealous because she could not wear 
Her antique hat and her long sweeping train 



i68 ELENORE 

With which she makes herself a scavenger. 
IVe often thought how we'd admire the rose 
If it might condescend to smear itself 
With dirt instead of drinking in the sweet 
Sun's rays and perfumed breath of Heaven. 

Cath. Dear brother, I did inform you correctly. 
But Elenore will always find excuse ; 
She is the fictionist, not I, my brother. 
I always dress according to the fashion, 
As do most other women of my age. 
Regarding my dress you never did find fault, 
But often paid me graceful compliment. 
As to her classmate, she's been concealed 
As when our daughter did conceal whilom 
Horatio Millford, and lied about him, too. 

Mien. Father, my aunt's a very dangerous woman. 
I never yet, direct or indirect. 
Gave her the lie to feast her foul digestion. 
The truth I've told as it should be told 
To one who would restore the Inquisition. 

Cath. An untruth she told me most direct, 
Standing in the vestibule, the door 
Half closed between me and the sky ; I did 
Indeed inquire, as it was my fond duty. 
Why she stood gazing. In most perfunctory 

manner, 
"I am studying Venus and Mars, 
They are now both evening stars." 
Well I knew the door eclipsed my Mars. 
The planets were doubtless in conjunction. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 169 

Blen. Dear father, that very night Aunt Catherine 
Related to me a dream ; right well you know 
She is a somnambulist, and when 
She called downstairs, may have been a victim 
Of that strange sleep which takes the form of 

action. 
I did indeed stand at the door admiring 
The heavenly galaxy of flickering worlds 
Blazing in immeasurable space; 
Winged ministers that preach the truth 
From their distant spheres, but yet conceal it. 
In truth, Venus and Mars were evening stars. 

Cath. My brother, you never found me in a lie. 

E'er since your daughter came of age she holds 
Some spiteful grudge 'gainst me. 

Blen. Far be it from me, my dearest aunt ; 
I hold no spiteful grudge except I do 
Object to your lugubrious hats and gowns; 
You are a victim of modern barbarism. 

Sen. S. There may indeed be truth in both your stories. 
I shall both believe till further proof. 
Elenore, my sweet and only daughter, 
Your dissipated brother's fate you know. 
The woman he married was far below his 

station ; 
He lives now in eternal exile as far 
As my inheritance may interest him. 
If there be any grain of truth in your 
Aunt's story, the self same dower, Elenore, 
Shall be dealt out to you — remember that ! 



I70 ELENORE 

I'll will my fortune to some alien blood. 
I say not this in spirit of revenge ; 
I am not ruled by his demon, but, ah ! 
There is a weird legitimate abyss 
Severs the ties of friendship and of kinship. 
He who has stood upon the brink, striving 
To span it with gossamer webs of charity 
Knows he but mocks the irony of fate 
Which hisses from the poisonous abyss. 
Withhold ! Withhold your sympathy until 
Your enemy is dead ! 

Blen. Oh! father dear, you frighten me; that livid 
Monster passion has battered down your reason, 
And all your nobler qualities have fled. 
In my own father, now I see a demon ! 
Your disciplined manhood's now distorted. 
Father! I have given you no cause for this 
And I will further promise to be to you 
A dutiful daughter. It is not your desire 
That I shall cringe and beg my aunt for liberty 
If that be so, I will not be her slave I 
I shall do no improper thing for you, 
My honored father, nor her, whatever my fate. 
The world is wide ; my love and patriotism 
Are equal with my independent spirit. 
I will do right though all the world prove false, 
And all hell's furies compass me about. 
Father, you did wrong my darling brother ; 
He's merely flesh and blood like to yourself. 
Dear father, make him equal with your daughter ! 
He is still your son, your flesh and blood. 



4 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 171 

Eternal hate, is an eternal hell ! 
As yet no man doth hold a claim on me; 
But, should I ever marry, it will be 
The man I dearly love, and he loves me. 

Sen. S. My passion I confess did master me. 
Pray do forgive me, Elenore. 
You are your mother's angel. 

Blen. Dearest father, there's nothing to forgive. 
Anon I have to beg for my own sin. 
One word I crave, my dear father. 

Sen. S. bay on, my daughter. 

Blen. I most seriously contemplate remaining 
single. There have of late been so many 
Disgusting exhibitions of spurious love 
And failures in married life, I now opine 
The single life preferable. 

Sen. S. No, my daughter, there is more pleasure in 
The married life. When you go out into 
Society, you will change your mind. 
Marry a gentleman who is your equal, 
Above, rather than below your station. 
How you do recall to me your mother! 

Blen. My aunt says I do resemble mother. 
Faintly I remember her sweet face 
And tender caress, the which anon doth stir 
My soul to deeds of love and charity. 
You were in moderate circumstances when you 
Married mother, but she brought wealth with 
her 



172 ELENORE 

Into your home. Father, it is not money 
Nor social position that enriches life. 
Sen. S. Perhaps you're right, Elenore. 

Exeunt Senator Stockwell and Blenore. 
Catherine (alone). 
Cath, It's a cold day when Catherine gets left! He 
gave her into my full charge again, and I will 
conquer her fine spirit. I am now her equal 
and maybe better, for I may be a Duchess 
soon. I am a millionaire in my own right, 
and I will show my lady how to dress when 
we return to dear old France. That bore, 
Johnson, is doubly attentive since I received 
my legacy. He may try to get me in trouble 
but I will have Michael and Rose as wit- 
nesses, because they heard me say no, at 
least twenty times. 

Bxit Catherine. 



I 



Scene 

Michael and Rose preparing for the voyage. 

Mich. You promised to think it over, Rose. 

Rose. If you really mean it, Michael dear, I cannot 
refuse, for I always loved you, but was in 
doubt about your love. 

Mich. Oh! I love you, darling, with all my heart. 

They embrace as Blenore enters. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 173 

Blen. I sincerely beg your pardon, Rose, I did not 
mean to interrupt your joy; seeing others 
happy makes me glad. Love is a silly, funny 
thing to outsiders. How are you progressing? 

Rose. Miss Elenore, you see what we have done. 
Michael says we need a hundred feet more 
rope and then we'll finish in an hour. 

Blen. Give Michael no more rope at present. Rose, 
else he may hang himself. He's pale and 
nervous. 

Mich. Miss Stockwell, I have been working hard. 
I should have taken another man with me, 
for Rose, poor thing, has been doing a man's 
and woman's work too. John is twisted in 
his nature, and we never would have finish- 
ed, because he would want to tie every knot 
a different way from mine. 

Blen. It takes a man and woman to pack, and nail, 
and rope boxes and trunks properly. You 
didn't keep Rose constantly beside you, did 
you, Michael? 

Mich. Certainly not ! Only when I needed help, then 
I called her, for she is worth a dozen men. 

Rose. One may easily tell what lapidary tempered 
Michael's wit. The idea of comparing me 
with a dozen men. 

Mich. It doesn't always rain when it thunders. 
Miss Stockwell, ever since I had La Grippe 
my health has been impaired; I really need 



174 ELENORE 

a change of air and climate; in fact, the 
doctor advised it. You remember the day 
you sent Rose with some herbs ? Oh, what a 
sweet though bitter decoction, but it proved 
an antidote. I now feel that same old sick- 
ness coming on again, only more inveterate 
in form. I do not lie, for my whole being is 
infected. Now, Miss Stockwell, you will 
never get along with John over there, he has 
a horrible disposition and you will have to 
send him back again. Leave John here and 
take me with you. If I cannot get a change, 
I will have to enter the hospital or go home 
for rest. 

Elen. That is probably the longest speech you ever 
made, Michael, but I think your imagination 
has a great deal to do with your sickness; I 
am afraid you are the victim of a "brain 
storm." 

Mich. Me brain is all sound. Miss Stockwell. It's me 
heart that's affected. I am afraid I contracted 
heart disease, for at night when all is quiet I 
can hear it beat. What is a "brain storm," 
ma'am ? 

Blen. Oh ! It is a figment forged on Vulcan's anvil, 
whereon all things metaphysical are forged. 
Dido is the first on record grappled with it, 
and in her delirium she killed herself because 
^neas fled her dormitory. 

Mich. You are talking quisles ; I have heard of boys 
cutting didos when at school. Nothing 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 175 

troubles me but this fever and a burning 
desire to go with you to France. 

Mien. Why did you leave France? 

Mich. Rose had my bankbook; I had to return on 
her account. Do plead with your father to 
let me go with you ; I will be more attentive 
to your interests than John. 

Blen. The arrangements have all been made; I do 
not believe they can be changed. 

Mich. Every trunk I rope or strap and buckle makes 
me cry in pain, and I have recently been taken 
with dizziness which comes on in fits. My 
case is serious, do plead for me. 

Blen. It is a mental disease which will leave you 
when Rose fades from view. I shall, how- 
ever, consult with my aunt and when she 
comes around, you speak with her, but I am 
afraid Mr. Stockwell may object except your 
sickness appeals to him. 
Exit Blenore. 

Rose. Michael, you did lie so in Elenore's face; I 
hate to stay in the same room with you. 

Mich. "Special" and "Vested Rights" are protected 
in these United States. We are now an "in- 
corporate body" all except the ceremony. 
I lied for Cupid and our corporation's sake, 
not for your sake. Miss Elenore fully com- 
prehended our case. Kiss me, sweet Rose. 

Rose. How dare you ask me any further tokens of 



176 ELENORE 

love and consideration ? How can any woman 
love a man who lies to her face ? 

Mich. I did not lie, Rose ; you know I am sick. The 
cat's not always angry when she smiles. I 
am going with you to France. 

Rose. If you go, I will stay home. 

Mich. When old Tom purrs kindly she rubs her tail 
in his face and it's all over with the cat. Get 
some cat logic in your brain, Rose ; I had to 
lie for your sake and I will keep on lying. 

Rose. You may cheat the gallows, but you surely 
will get your neck in the stocks, yet. 

Mich. When we get married, Rose, we'll spend our 
honeymoon in Ireland; there ye'll hear the 
sweet birds sing. I want to hear the lark and 
the thrush again. Last I heard them, tears 
filled my eyes and my bosom swelled like to 
bursting. 

Enter Catherine. 

Cath. Michael and Rose ! Mr. Johnson will be here 
in a few minutes ; go into the next room but 
keep out of sight; only listen attentively to 
every word we say. I will say No ! No ! No ! 
three distinct times. I want you both as wit- 
nesses in case he tries to get me into trouble. 
When you hear him at the door, run and con- 
ceal yourselves within hearing distance. Re- 
member, No ! No ! No ! 

Rose. We will remember distinctly, Miss Catherine. 



I 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 177 

I will get my pencil and write it down. Writ- 
ing holds good in court. 

Cath. Well thought out, Rosie! This man Johnson 
has some nefarious scheme in contemplation. 
You remember, Rose, I told him long ago I 
could not leave my brother ? 

Rose. Yes ! Yes ! I remember, but I have forgotten 
the date. 

Cath. That does not matter as long's you heard the 
words. 

Mich. I desire ma'am, to ask a favor at your hand; 
Miss Elenore said you had the power to grant. 
I have been very sick and the doctor advised 
a change of air; have you any objection to 
leaving John home and taking me with you 
to France ? I will never forget your kindness. 
It is a case of necessity, the doctor says. 

Cath. The arrangement will be most suitable, Mich- 
ael, and I will inform my brother of the 
change. You will go with us to France. Now 
Rose and Michael, remember you are my wit- 
nesses. 

Mich. We will not forget. We'll witness to anything 
you say. I will send him an infernal ma- 
chine made of wax fat. 

Cath. You will both remember and also write it 
down. 

Rose. We shall. Miss Catherine. 



178 ELENORE 

Mich. Catherine is so affectionate and kind. It is 
all settled, I to France. Heigh ho ! 

Exeunt Michael and Rose. 

Enter Honorable Johnson, widower. 

John. Oh, my beloved Catherine, I wish you would 
not go. How sweet you look of late, darling ! 
I must salute you in the usual manner. 

Cath. Now, Mr. Johnson, I say No! No! No! I 
have turned my mouth completely against 
kissing; the doctor says it is infectious and 
dangerous; it breeds tuberculosis and a long 
train of conjugal afflictions, so keep away 
from me. I want to live a life of single bless- 
edness as long as I can. No more kissing. 
I say emphatically. No! No! No! 

John. How quickly some women change their minds. 
Catherine, you gave me much encouragement ; 
you even promised to entertain the question. 
I had considered it fully settled. 

Cath. I tell you, Mr. Johnson, I never made you any 
definite promise, but I distinctly remember 
telling you to go elsewhere and I repeat No! 

No! No! 

John. Catherine, you have trifled with my affections, 
and I have an indisputable case for damages 
unless you relent and fulfil your obligation. 
I can prove you were the means of diverting 
the affections of Mrs. Fischer, my divorced 
housekeeper, to another gentleman. I would 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 179 

have married Mrs. Fischer, but for your fair 
promises and your spiteful jealousy of her. 
You told me it was a shame to have my 
children under the care of a divorced woman, 
but she was always most considerate of my 
children. 

Cath. I never trifled with your affections, Johnson, 
and I know nothing about your relations with 
Mrs. Fischer. I say No! No! No! You 
insist on founding your case on a base malici- 
ous lie. It is a clear case of blackmail and I 
have witnesses to prove it. I never promised 
to marry you. Humph ! marry a man with a 
menagerie of children, the eldest only six- 
teen. I would not do it, Johnson, if the 
President himself should advise it. Michael 
and Rose come forth, I say ! 

Mich. Here we are, Miss Catherine. 

John. Ha, ha! I see you will use false witnesses; 
that means twenty years at hard labor and a 
fine of twenty-nine million dollars. I made 
appointment with Senator Gamster to meet 
me here at this hour. He will knock your 
Duchess aspirations from under your feet. 

Cath. When I return from France, Mr. Johnson, I 
may have changed my mind, and you may 
meet with better success; but I do intend 
remaining single. Should you take action, 
I never could forgive you. 

John. I will not take your word again, Catherine. 



i8o ELENORE 

You must now sign a regular agreement. I 
will have Senator Gamster draw it up im- 
mediately; but remember you shall not be 
permitted to sail out of New York Harbor 
unless a settlement is made. I can prove 
positively by witnesses that you alienated my 
affections from Mrs. Fischer and conspired 
to have her marry another. 

Cath. Michael and Rose, you heard me refuse a 
score of times. 

Mich. Yes ma'am, here is our testimony in writing: 
IVe hereby witness and swear to the effect we 
heard you refuse, over a score distinct and 
different times his offers. This Honorable 
Johnson, widower, is a blackmailer. 

(Signed) Michael and Rose. 

John. I suspected as much from the contents of the 
letter you sent me yesterday, and which I 
handed over to the Honorable Senator Gams- 
ter. He will be here presently, but he is 
always busy in politics, franchise grabbing 
and divorce. Oh, here he comes running, all 
out of breath. He has the papers with him. 

' I told him to come prepared. 

Enter Senator Gamster. 

Catherine (aside). 
Cath. I'd rather see the devil, feet, tail and all, than 
that abominable usurer, Shylock's superior. 
His very eyes blaze forth perfidy. It's strange 



LOVE'S CONQUEST i8i 

to see the fires of hell burning on earth. Ex- 
posure would disgrace me and my family. 
They've driven me into a corner, no means of 
escape ; I must sue for settlement. This thief 
Gamster knows I'll not let it go to court; he 
would cut the throat of his best friend for 
money. Catherine's caught in a trap and she 
is now in the power of moral, social and 
political reprobates and general degenerates. 
Innocence is a fool to suffer, but this law of 
etiquette dictates secrecy and silence. I will 
sound Johnson how much he expects. Thou- 
sands are fleeced every day by "Honorable" 
scoundrels who prey upon the common- 
wealth and devour the unfortunate in every 
walk of life. 

Gamster aside to Catherine. 

Gamster. My dear Miss Stockwell, I am very sorry, in 
fact I refused this case against you over the 
'phone, but Mr. Johnson insisted I take it. 
You are in a box with no hope at the bottom. 
Had you consulted me before, for very little 
money you might have avoided all this un- 
pleasantness. The case is very clear against 
you, because you betrayed Mr. Johnson's 
affections and alienated the affection of his 
housekeeper, Mrs. Fischer. Should the mat- 
ter go into court, you would be disgraced in 
courting such company. I do not see how 
an extraordinary woman like yourself, far 
above the ordinary, went so deeply into the 



i82 ELENORE 

mud. You know our laws are just. I am a 
friend of both, and now stand ready to act as 
adviser and judge in the case in order to pre- 
vent a pubHc scandal. Mr. Johnson values 
his claim at fifty thousand dollars ; he said a 
hundred thousand at first, but I protested 
fifty was sufficient. I would advise you to 
settle for that amount ; it will cost you twice as 
much if it goes to court. You may not have that 
amount by you but I will accept your note and 
I will draw on your income on the "Install' 
ment Plan." I will also advance the money 
in order to settle with Johnson. I know your 
predicament and desire to make it easy for 
you. Have nothing more to say to this man 
Johnson ; he is a leech ; I am disgusted with 
him myself. 

Cath. Senator Gamster, I did not believe you were 
so good a friend of mine. The matter must 
not be made public. I must not be delayed 
in sailing; I want to get away from this fair 
land of daylight robbers. Make out the papers 
and please do not inform my brother. 

Gamster. Not a word, Catherine; this is professional, 
professional, you know ! Johnson ! Miss 
Stockwell has agreed to settle the case out of 
court, and it is left entirely in my hands. That 
is what you wish. Miss Catherine? 

Cath. That is the agreement. Senator Gamster. 
Gamster. Excuse me, Miss Catherine! 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 183 

Gamster talks aside to Johnson. 

Gamster. Mr. Johnson, I am very busy and must return 
at once to my office. I settled for five thou- 
sand instead of fifty. You had no case, it 
was clearly one of blackmail ; you may thank 
me you are out of jail. How much do you 
expect of this money? 

John. Split in halves and call it square. 

Gamster. No ! Here is my check certified for five hun- 
dred dollars ; it is found money to you. 

John. Thanks, old man ! But you robbed yourself. 

Bxeunt Catherine, Gamster and Johnson. 



i84 ELENORE 



ACT V. Scene 

STOCKWElwI. MANSION. ROOM ENTKRING INTO THK 
CONSERVATORY. 

Blenore stealthily opens the conservatory door and 
admits Horatio. Time, midnight. 

Blen. Horatio ! 

Hor. Elenore ! 

They embrace. 

Blen. 'Tis after twelve, Horatio ! Why so late ? 

Hor. The light in Catherine's room, Elenore! 
I heard the clock strike eleven and twelve. 

Blen. O my sweet love, my soul is vexed with grief; 
A few short hours will ply their dusky wings, 
And we shall have parted perhaps forever. 
Oh, that I never had been born to wealth! 
When gold is all we have, Horatio, 
Then hope has fled from sweet Pandora's box, 
And like a harmless pigeon in a trap 
We are the play of avaricious sportsmen. 

misery ! Why art thou chained to love ? 
My heart is breaking, my dear Horatio, 

1 would that I were dead ! 

Hor. My heart is breaking too, my Elenore, 

A death-like weight doth seen to press it down; 
Some hideous incubus doth strangle amity. 
Your sweet grief will mine assuage ; do pour 



« 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 185 

It in my heart of heart, torment me with 

The monster which preys upon your soul ; 

I love to hear your plaint ! 

Nay ! I will tell it to the sullen ocean 

In whose hoarse roar there is an undertone 

Of sweet compassion, which draws the downcast 

soul 
To the celestial gate where Pity stands. 
Arms outstretched wide as the universe. 
Nature, herself, is grief's best minister ! 
Sweet maid, pray do unfold your secret grief; 
I have a soul as wide and deep's the sea : 
With thine 'twill soar beyond this narrow sphere 
Or yet descend into the deepest hell. 
Let us exploit this solitary grief. 
An antidote we'll find within the box 
Which Jupiter handed to sweet Pandora. 
Nor love, nor hope, shall ever leave our earth 
While yet a living soul doth move upon't. 
Like the restless tides of earth and air. 
Forever with mankind they will abide ! 
Your poignant grief unfold, sweet Elenore. 
Why should I unleash sorrow's bloodhounds 
To worry your sweet heart now overcharged? 
There is no concord to a single string. 
But when you do attune a counter string 
They'll hum in sweet accord even touched by 
The nimble fingers of the invisible wind. 
Your soul and mine, sweet maid, are now at- 
tuned. 
Recite to me the sad words of your song. 



i86 ELENORE 

i 

Blen. Oh ! I do wish my mother were alive ; 

I see her smile, and feel her gentle hand 

Upon my brow at eve, while yet I knelt 

Beside her knee as she outbreathed her evening 

Orisons, as the old chapel bell 

Rang out the vespers. How hard it is to be 

Suspected of foul treachery in one's 

Own household! You are barr'd, Horatio, 

By my own father, forever. 

Hor. What ! that word "forever" doth invade 
The sacred precincts of immortality. 
Our hates and loves both may perchance go 

there. 
But no man hath the power to consign, 
Nor hold the eternal bar against another. 
Sweet Elenore, in your own hand you hold 
The key to happiness or misery. 
That soul of yours is mine and mine is yours 
Unless indeed you pawned it to another. 
Are you foresworn? What do you mean? 

Blen. My love is all your own, Horatio ! 

And I would not myself forswear for all 
"The golden trinkets nor shallow honors of 
A world ! But justice may demand love's sacri- 
fice. 
To father I have a duty to perform. 
A mother's obligation rests on me; 
My father is all alone in this false world ; 
A sense of duty battles with my love. 
Oh, I am lost! bereft of mother! 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 187 

Hor. I love you tenderly as a mother, Elenore. 
Drop all your care into my anxious heart. 

Blen, Oh! my dear departed mother, Horatio. 

Her heart o'erflowed; gentleness and charity 
Issued therefrom like a constant spring 
Whose virtuous flow winds through a woody 

grove ; 
Its sweet distillments breathe perpetual spring. 
On topmost twig the male bird greets the morn, 
Responsive song resounds within the grove, 
Soft zephyrs play among the rustling leaves. 
And the reflective brook babbles with joy. 
Singing of immortality beyond. 
As the long day declines on topmost twig, 
The male sits carolling his evening lay. 
Till in the West the rosy cheeks of day 
Have been transformed into a sombre grey. 

Hor. Night new born bends o'er the sighing grove ; 

Like tread of ghosts the winds creep through 

the branches, 
Along the fringed borders of the brook, 
Repulsive reptiles stare with beady eyes ; 
Their light is borrowed from some evil star ; 
Led by some hellish instinct to their prey 
The love-lorn bird's devoured, that lost her way. 

Blen. There is no point nor parallel, Horatio. 

Hor. The full-fledged bird, sweet Elenore, leaves the 
Parental nest forever, and finds her mate. 
Parental duty ends in the natural 
Selection of sex at maturity. 



i88 ELENORE 

Parents have no right to dam nature's 

Flood gates; for then, they turn the course of 

love 
Into a vortex of misery and divorce. 
Except the chains that bind are forged of love 
Deceit holds sway; then farewell happiness. 
Elen. Selfishness ! not nature, rules man's world. 
Nature flings her ripened products at 
Our feet. Although she's changeable in mood, 
Her songs are sweet though often terrible. 
In them we always hear the ring of truth. 
Oh! With what pleasure must God look down 

upon 
His handiwork in nature's primeval garden 
Where simple truth presides, and love holds 

sway. 
Hor. Selfishness rules not my world, Elenore! 
Except it's selfishness in loving you. 
I love you better than all else in the world. 
Fortune I'll seek no further. I've found the 

charm 
That doth transmute my world into gold. 
Blen. Here we stand upon the bridge, Horatio ! 

Between two present worlds, both which we see 

And feel. In each we are compelled to act. 

Oh ! I have stood in a sweet paradise 

At base of the grim visaged lofty Alps 

When every blooming flower outshed its glory 

To the sun whose rays did beat upon 

The southern mountain slopes; sweet perfume 

filled 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 189 

The air, the bees did hum and flit with butterflies 
Among the fragrant blossoms ; impressive still- 
ness 
O'er-awed the scene. Nature seemed asleep. 
No jarring voice fell on the ear, and all 
The senses instinctively became harmonious. 
The solemn bell rang in the hour of prayer 
From the old tower that stands upon the cape; 
Its liquid tones rolled o'er the placid bosom 
Of the Mediterranean Sea, which laves 
The lofty mountain's feet. Nature o'erflowed 
In tender sympathy. Methought she listened. 
And hummed herself to sleep in dreamy sweet- 
ness, 
Pleased to feel that all her works were pleased. 
There I mused in quiet lest I disturb 
Her dream. But suddenly my reverie 
Most rudely was assailed by the screeching 
Whistle of a French locomotive, and by 
The noisy jargon of some inhuman brawlers 
Whose stately villa stands upon the terraced 
Mountain slope, surrounded by all that is 
Most beautiful in sweet Pomona's garden. 

Hor. How your sweet spirit stirs in mine, my love! 
Had I been in that paradise with you, 
It would have been complete, Elenore. 

Blen. Horatio ! To nature I am married ; 

Methinks I'd rather her poor slave remain. 
Than mingle in the proud deceitful din 
Of etiquette and diplomatic commerce. 



190 ELENORE 

Sweet maidens now do sell themselves for noth- 
ing; 

For what's a name or fortune sans happiness? 

When marriage becomes a vile commercial con- 
tract, 

Then woe to both our worlds; the offspring 
must 

Be mongrels. Even beasts would not degrade 
themselves, 

For they, when free, obey the laws of nature. 

Hor. Full tribute we shall pay to Nature's law. 

I've heard the skylark raise his voice in song 
As from the procreant couch he set his spurs 
Upon the generous earth, bounding into 
A joyous undulating flight, pouring 
His ethereal song as he ascends 
Into the ear of heaven and down upon 
'Hie flower-bespangled mead, suffused in dew, 
Of which each petal draws her sweet distillment 
As nectar for the roaming honey bee ; 
And down upon his earthly paradise, 
Where sits the soul of all his aspirations: 
Still higher he soars in his ambitious flight 
To greet the morn yet as Aurora flings 
Her golden mantle on the sombre clouds; 
Still carolling above the clouds and gilded 
Mountain tops, he greets the god of day. 
My soul, sweet Elenore, is slave to nature; 
But myriad times am I more slave to you. 
There's no such goal as single blessedness ; 
Without his mate, the lark would have no song. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 191 

Blen. Methinks you're wrong, my dear Horatio. 

All men and women who consecrate their lives 
To any cause for the amelioration 
Of humanity or other species, 
Will win their niche in love's eternal temple, 
For without them it would be incomplete. 
Love is no stranger to the thorny road; 
You will not find him on Delilah's lap. 
Love you will find in every atom's heart, 
And in it too hate yet may find a room. 
There's less encumbrance trudging down alone. 

Hor. The universal theme of sexual love, 

Sweet Elenore, runs through both great and 

small. 
The winged seeds do find sweet lodge in lonely 
Caves and crevices in mountain cliffs 
Where gentle zephyrs waft the evening dew 
Which elves do sip and revel in pigmy grottos. 
Hesperus peeps in to say good night, 
His image planting on the blushing cheek 
Of every timid dewdrop. Luna half veiled 
Looks coyly down between the roaming clouds 
Upon the place where they in love repose. 
The great procession of heavenly constellations 
From their immortal spheres glance sweetly in 
Upon this realistic paradise. 
The warm rays of the effulgent sun 
Transform the grotto into a floral palace. 
Now bees and butterflies do flit around ; 
The flowers love bees and they do love the 

flowers ; 



192 ELENORE 

Birds build their nests and perch beside the door, 

Singing their loved progeny to sleep. 

Here loving intercourse doth reign supreme. 

Sweet Elenore, there is no happiness 

But in the arms of one you dearly love. 

Go not to France! Elope with me! 

Elen. I will not elope from duty, Horatio. 

Hor. There is no feast in life but that of love. 
Millions will never buy you happiness. 
All you can buy with them's a living. 
The richest, with few exceptions, are the poorest ; 
For they are rarely, if ever, satisfied. 
Elope ! Apart we never can be happy. 

Blen. You say you are not selfish, Horatio. 
Love is prettiest, most soul-inspiring. 
When concealed behind the purple clouds, 
Near rise or set of sun; there's something left 
For the imagination to feast upon. 
Your pretty "Elfish Grotto" was ravished! 
Two "Golden Eagles" who were affinities. 
Entered into a compact and built their nest, 
Gorged their eaglets with the innocent birds, 
And dropped foul parasites into the garden. 
Flowers all dead! Birds all fled! The palace 
Is in ruins ! 

Hor. "Paradise Lost !" Alas ! 'tis often true 
Of nations and individuals, the lust 
Of gold becomes insatiate, and the 
Power it yields for good or evil limitless. 
Elenore, I have a fortune in nature's 



LOVES CONQUEST 193 

Storehouse with you presiding in our home; 
I will with brains and muscle work it out. 
Your father has no righteous claim on you, 
You are of age. Come to my bosom, Elenore. 
Doubt not my love. Do you love me? 

Blen. Horatio darling! I'll never doubt your love; 
You are my sun — and I am now your sea 
On which the lowering clouds cast ominous 
Shadows, and the rude winds now raging o'er 
Our heads may swoop like .eagles from their 

dizzy 
Heights, lashing the plaintive sea into 
Foam crested billows, whereon our hopes may 

yet 
Be dashed upon the rocks, like Neptune's mid- 
night 
Ghosts; the which surmount the monstrous 

heads 
Of his impassion'd steeds, plunging in awful 
Tumult to the shore in mad foray; 
Breaking on the relentless rocks uncrested 
And strewn in airy bubbles on the beach. 

Hor. My darling ! Must I leave you in distress ? 
Nature, herself, will never smile on me. 
Nor can I ever smile again with nature. 
Sweet birds may sing, but deaf will be my ear ; 
I'll wander to and fro in a dumb wilderness. 
There is no elysium for slighted love; 
The world is blank and black as nether Erebus ; 
No beacon light flashing on the horizon. 
Nought but a dim receding star faintly 



194 ELENORE 

Flickering on the border of the infinite. 
Oh, my sweet Elenore ! Elope with me. 
Come! Oh come with me! 

Blen. We shall meet again, Horatio, 

Under the shadow of the Alpine sphinx 
Whose monstrous paws descend into the sea; 
Whose lofty tops betimes enveiled in cloud; 
I've often thought that they would like to speak 
While yet I gazed on their archaic faces. 
Their silence doth conceal a mystery, — 
The power that gave unto the sea his bounds, 
And fashioned the universe of matter. 
Silence, is more potent than flowery oratory; 
It is the language of the soul, Horatio. 

Hor. You beat about the bush, sweet Elenore. 

You have no ties nor obligations more sacred 
Than the claims of mutual love. Now is 
The time and place. Risk the world with me. 
Affinity of lust is linked with night. 
Affinity of love is linked to light. 

Blen. You make me sad, my dear Horatio. 

I'm not a monster nor my heart adamant, 
But circumstances do prescribe conditions; 
The time has not arrived for me to lift 
The virgin veil ; as yet I love the world ; 
Freedom has not yet lost her greater charm. 
Love crosses oceans and blossoms in the wilds ; 
Holds converse with the stars and reaches forth 
Beyond the limits of our universe; 
Groping with soul instinct yet ere it feel 



LOVES CONQUEST 195 

The soul of the Divine. 

Never shall I forget your love, Horatio, 

But duty now claims priority. 

Hor. Duty and true love never did collide. 

It is your duty now to leave your home. 
You are of age. Come now ! 

Blen. Can that, my love, be day's approach which pales 
The lustre of the stars ? Or is't the moon ? 
Methinks I see the faintest blush of pink 
Above the darkling clouds there to the East, 
Horatio ! You must be gone, else Flora 
Will catch you courting in her conservatory. 
Oh, my sad heart! 

Hor. My heart is breaking, Elenore ! 

And you the cause. Away ! Adieu ! 
One parting kiss. Oh ! Adieu 
Cruel Elenore, forever ! 

Bxit Horatio. 

Blen. Oh! Oh! Horatio! 

"Cruel Elenore!" How those words sting. 

An instrument of torture, dagger transfixed 

In the very heart and soul of love. 

He meant it ! I saw it in his soul that blazed 

In his lovely eyes. Was't jealousy 

Or was it scornful hate? He said, "forever." 

Divorced from my love forever. Oh, dire 

Despair and everlasting punishment. 

Horatio gone! Cannot be possible. 

Leave me thus! I cannot let him go! 

Oh, love ! How sweet and cruel art thou. 



196 ELENORE 

The cords that bind are knotted in eternity, 

And never can be unravell'd nor untied; 

They hold a fresh and everlasting charm. 

We never can acquaint ourself with love. 

Phoebe with her belov'd Hyperion 

Has gone with him round to the Orient; 

Sunk beneath the palpitating wave. 

Lead kindly night. I will follow him, 

My love, out into the wilderness ! 

There is no night in love's primal garden. 

Love's blossoms never fade ; never grow old. 

He loves me! 

"Father, if ever I marry it will be 

The man I dearly love and he loves me." 

Out into the night. Rose ! Michael ! 

Run after and bring him back or he'll be out 

Of reach. His automobile stands around the 

corner. 
Bring him back ! And you will witness to 
Our marriage. Haste! Away! 

Rose. You are excited ; do compose your mind, a^ 

Miss Elenore, you cannot tell ^^H 

Which way he went. Wait till daylight. ^ 

Blen. Go at once, Michael and Rose, bring him back ! 
Exeunt Michael and Rose in haste. 

Love will my footsteps guide, Horatio! 
Horatio, my love ! 

Horatio followed by Michael and Rose meet Elenore 
at the conservatory door. 



LOVES CONQUEST 197 

Hor. My love ! Methought I heard you call for me. 

Blen. I called your name, cruel Horatio. 

Hor. I am not cruel, Elenore ! 

Blen. You thrust the dagger through my heart. 

Hor. Love now that dagger draws and heals the 
wound. 

They embrace. 
Come! My auto is throbbing for the race; 
We'll to the Rev. Dr. Benedict's house; 
His church next door has been decorated 
For nuptial celebration; a rustic grotto 
Has been erected beside the altar; translucent 
Varicolored crystals adorn the roof; 
Flowers and ferns o'erhang and peep from every 
Cosey nook; tremulous dewdrops hang 
Upon the quivering leaves, which in the light 
Concealed above, with a full harvest moon 
Hung from the dome, shining down upon't. 
Light plays in all her subtile and fantastic 
Harmonies. 

Blen. I know Dr. Benedict well; he stands 
Not on ceremony. Let us at once 
Compose our loves upon love's altar ! But first 
We'll call upon my disinherited brother 
And his wife ; we'll have them witness to 
Our marriage. Send Michael for your auto. 

Hor. Nay! We'll walk; it is but half a block. 
The auto's noise might wake your aunt. 

Blen. We will dispense with the long ceremony 



198 ELENORE 

And plight in face of Heaven our sacred love. 

And then we will return to father's home. 

Oh! My dear father, Horatio; what will 

He do? He is alone in this false world. 

I am disinherited, Horatio! 

Nothing but myself and my old clothes. 

I am a poor bride. 

Hor. Richer than all the world to me, Elenore. 

Blen. Let us away. 

Exeunt. 

Scene 
Enter Michael and Rose. 

Mich. Luck will follovv^ a real love match. Rose. 
When the hurly-burly's past. 
We will reach our home at last. 
When the dukes beget young drakes. 
Then will the world be full o' fakes. 

Rose. Didn't they give Kate the bluff? 
Gamster made her pay the stuff. 
Now, Mike, I'm sure your love is cooling, 
Go right to work and stop yer fooling. 

Mich. Sweet Rosie, must you stop your bluff, 
Or I will fill your mouth wi' snuff. 

Fashionable women chew snuff at Monte 
Carlo, and drink, and smoke cigars, and then 
wipe their sweet breath with hundred dollar 
real lace handkerchiefs; that is the reason, 



LOVES CONQUEST 199 

Rose, I want ye to go to Ireland, where the 
women smoke only sweet clay pipes. 

Rose. I'll not go to Ireland with you, Michael ; make 
up yer mind on that, me boy. There they live 
on pigs' feet and flummery, and cook wi' their 
eyes shut for fear the peat reek eat them out. 

Mich. It's the land of minstrelsy and song ; we could 
live and die happy there. Rose. 

Rose. If ye's want minstrelsy buy a canary or go 
over to France. 

Mich. Then we will go to Bonnie Scotland. 

Rose. That's another land o' peat and plenty. 

Mich. Then we will settle down in England, beside 
Lord Cashington. 

Rose. There are enough paupers there already, Mike. 

Mich. Then we will settle down in France ; you know 
the French are a stylish, musical, docile peo- 
ple. Aunt Catherine's hats and dresses came 
from there. You could pick up dress and hat 
making. 

Rose. There you got your long toed shoes, so you 
could skip or skate across the ocean. You 
couldn't sink them in salt water. 

Mich. They are useful in Paris, they measure a yard 
scant. 

Rose. No room in France for me, Michael. France 
for Frenchmen, America for Americans. 



200 ELENORE 

"Tips" and musical mendicants I hate. I 
cannot pass around the hat. 

Mich. "Tips" are all right, Rose, if they are big 
enough, but some fakers hand a fellow 
counterfeit coin. American politicians don't 
object to "tips;" then why should a common 
waiter or attendant refuse ? "Tips" are fash- 
ionable and conform to the highest rules of 
modern etiquette. Everybody takes "tips;" 
even multi-millionaires. No service is com- 
plete without it. 

Rose. Let's lay our purses and our wits together. 
You attend the free evening Public Schools; 
there they teach "practical politics," and after 
you graduate, finish your education in Vir- 
ginia, or Harrisburg, Albany or Washington ; 
then you can become a partner of Senator 
Gamster's, and then by a slip of the tongue 
your fortune is made. Then you may sit 
on the fence wi' the Governor; squat under 
the wings of a bishop's cloak ; play reformer, 
and on the stump, tell the people they must 
respect the crooked laws made by crooked 
legislators. 

Mich. I cannot fall far below the devil in politics, Rose. 
I'll do exactly as you say ; I have a ready wit 
Will wake my slumbering talent. 
When the hurly-burly's past, 
I'll be Senator at last. 

Rose. Get in wi' the Corporations General, Michael ; 



li 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 201 

they always have somebody else's money to 
speculate with ; you will shine yet with honest 
statesmen and crooked lawyers. 

Mich. I feel it in my bones, Rose. I feel it ! 

Rose. Get in with the Twins, Michael. Seek and 
Hide, "Special Laws," and "Vested Rights," 
they're the boys, and then you never can fail ; 
they will steer you. 

Mich. We'll save our money over in France and 
when we return we'll launch our project. 
There's a heap of money in mixing politics 
and life insurance, Rose. Our Governor show- 
ed that ! 

Rose. Then Michael, you want to mix your politics 
wi' yer life insurance, ah, ha ! Why not mix 
them with oil, or gas or water or some other 
gangrene substance? 

Mich. It takes capital to enter the oil enterprise, for 
it is nearly all absorbed by a monster sponge ; 
and what's the use in buying water, after the 
gold has been extracted ? It's cheaper to buy 
blood. 

Rose. Oh, now yer going into the fertilizer business, 
Mike ; I see you would like to join the "Ghoul 
Club," and make money out of the bones of 
the poor fellows who died on the battle-field. 
I believe you'd rob the Potter's Field in the 
interest of science, Michael. 



202 ELENORE 

Mich. No, I mean we will organize a Friendly Mite 
Society for the especial benefit of the widows 
and orphans on the "installment plan" and do 
the work ourselves, no capital needed, then I 
will be the drummer and you the financier; 
about seventy-five per cent, of all those who 
join our society will drop out either by 
neglect or misfortune, and then we shut down 
on their policy. We, of course, will be the 
only stockholders. There's millions in it. Rose ! 
It's what they call building fortune with mis- 
fortune. 

Rose. We would have to name the Gargoyle, the 
Ananias and Sapphira Insurance Company. 
Nay ! Ye'll not get me interested in any sub- 
terfuge scheme like that to rob the poor. I 
am not an American in that respect. You are 
on the down grade, Michael, me boy. Col- 
umbia is honest at the core. I will hold on to 
her apron strings. 

Mich. We'd have Lawyer tools, and Corporation 
tools, and Lobbyist tools, and Boss tools, and 
Senator tools, and Assemblymen tools, and 
sometimes maybe Governor tools, and syco- 
phants galore, besides a host of friends every- 
where, just the same as the mosquitoes have ; 
and a palace to live in, and lions with hearts 
of stone and human paws to guard our citadel. 

Rose. Truth is more ghastly than fiction, Michael. 
I'll be nobody's tool; I'm an honest maiden. 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 203 

Don't you come to me with any of your ferti- 
lizer graveyard propositions after this. 

Mich. Rose, your conscience is screwed to too high 
a pitch and will break by the over-tension. 
Any individual or company may pursue any 
vocation in conformity with our State and 
National laws. Any business honestly con- 
ducted and in accordance with the law is 
honorable. 

Rose. None of yer slippery graveyard mortgages or 
"special vested rights" for me, Michael. The 
day is not far distant when there will be a 
general law that will compel all life insurance 
companies to apportion their ''surplus" to the 
policyholders. It belongs not to the men who 
have control of it, I believe ! 

Mich. We could exploit franchises and buy legis- 
lators and you would be Queen Columbia. 

Rose. Oh, liberty ! Oh, religion ! I have seen a little 
rough board coffin, and a widowed mother 
following her darling hope while he was borne 
by friendly neighbors to the hospitable Pot- 
ter's Field. Lord, my heart did burst, I feel 
it yet. "Man's inhumanity to man makes 
countless thousands mourn." 

Mich. That was the exception, Rose ; consider the 
thousands to whom insurance charity was 
disbursed. 

Rose. Consider the seventy-five per cent, "lapses," 



204 ELENORE 

Michael. Columbia has been drugged and 
sand-bagged and garroted, and had it been 
possible she would have been murdered. 

Mich. Oh, not murdered ! Only ravaged. 

Rose. None of your mathematical-political-hypocriti- 
cal-insurance charity for mine, Michael! 
Render the poor that to the poor belongs, 
And to the usurer sharp whips and thongs. 
I am a disciple of Elenore, her hand maiden ; 
a daughter of Columbia, whose great swelling 
heart of love and liberty will yet possess the 
earth. Columbia will yet shake off her leth- 
argy and fling the slavish mercenary ''Golden 
Calf" into a molten furnace. "Away with 
him!" Inhuman brute! The State will yet 
protect her poor by honest laws. 

Mich. Spit it out, Rose, spit it out, but remember 
you will spoil my fortune. 

Rose. It should be spoiled, mean knave. Get into 
"The Melting Pot." I want a man ! 

Mich. I'll have my name enrolled in one of these 
Charity Commissions appointed by the Gov- 
ernor for the purposes of protecting the cor- 
porations from the greed of the people. I will 
become a State pensioner. Rose, paid by the 
State for serving the corporations. 

Rose. You are a mercenary calf, Michael. These 
State Commissions tax the people four times 
as much as the corporations are taxed. If 



m 



LOVES CONQUEST 205 

you go in politics you must work for the peo- 
ple who pay you. 

Mich. Senator Gamster, and his partners, say, there 
is no money in working for the people ; it 
is merely a waste of time. 

Rose. You have no principle in ye Mike ; I will have 
nothing to do with ye ; leave me ! 

Mich. I'll take it all back, Rosie dear ; I do feel mean. 
I am your converted slave. Let's go on a 
farm and raise pork. 

Rose. Hush! I hear Aunt Catherine coming, now 
we will learn all about ^neas and Dido in 
the East. 

Enter Catherine. 

Cath. Where is Miss Elenore, Rose? 

Rose. I know not, ma'am. 

Cath. She was not in bed last night; now don't 
deceive me. Rose. 

Rose. A gentleman called near midnight and Miss 
Elenore left the house with him. 

Cath. Was it the Prince de Mandelieu? 

Rose. He looked more like Lord Cashington, only 
he was taller and better looking. 

Cath. Michael, what have you to say? 

Mich. I fell into one of those malarial dozes. Miss 
Catherine, and everything had its own way 
just the same as meself. I never heard nor 



2o6 ELENORE 



i 



saw nothin' out of the ordinary; only I was 
waked by a dream ; in it I heard me father's 
pigs squealing for drink. 

Cath, If you are now awake, go and inform Senator 
Stockwell I want to see him immediately. 

Mich. I will, ma'am; I am wide awake now. 

Cath. Hold on to me. Rose, I feel dizzy. 

Rose. I will lean hard against you. Miss Catherine ; 
poor dear, another of those horrid cruel spells ; 
they will carry you to the grave some day yet, 
I'm afraid. It may soon pass over. 

Enter Senator Stockwell. 

Sen. S. Catherine, what is the trouble? 

Cath. Elenore has gone with a gentleman. 

Sen. S. Let her go, she will return I dare say when 
she gets ready. Michael and Rose, accom- 
pany my sister to her bedroom ; she's ill. 

Exeunt Catherine, Rose and Michael. 

Sen. S. (alone). Cruelty and unkindness may have 
driven Elenore from her home. I rarely spoke 
words of love and sympathy as a father 
should. When I look in her sweet face, I 
have to turn away. Expression of my sym- 
pathy she craves, and yet I do withhold and 
chide myself that very moment. Elenore 
craves her father's love, and, shame on me, I 
knowingly deny it. Where has she gone? 
Some worthless soft-tongued villian, may have 



4 



LOVES CONQUEST 207 

enticed her. She may have fled to her broth- 
er's house ; although he is a sot, she dotes on 
him. Everything I will forgive except, Oh, 
God ! I do suspect Millford. Oh ! Oh ! Til 
send Michael to her brother's house to in- 
quire. 

Exit Senator Stockwell. 



Scene 

DR. BE:N^DICT'S church. 

Altar and grotto illuminated, surrounded by palms and 
dwarf spruce; a fountain plays in the centre of the 
grotto and Iris gambols in the spray. Soft music, 
and a female voice sings Blenore's hymn "There is a 
Temple Here Below." 

There is a Temple here below, 
Where all eternal truth may know, 
Enshrined within the human breast; 
Its future goal, eternal rest. 

The streams that glide beneath the tree 
Or o'erleap rocks to reach the sea — 
But backward flows into that source — 
Where all must — whither their course. 

Standing beside the altar, Dr. Benedict. In front of 
him Horatio and Blenore. 

Dr. B. Horatio! Do you love Elenore? 
Hor. With all my heart and soul. 
Dr. B. Elenore! Do you love Horatio? 



2o8 ELENORE 



Blen. With all my heart and soul. 

Dr. B. Whom God hath joined, no man can cleave 
asunder. I pronounce you man and wife! 

Blenore and Horatio embrace and he slips on the rir^g. 

The company walks down the aisle to the strains of 

''The Wedding March." 



Scene 

ROOM IN THB) STOCKWELL MANSION. 

Enter Horatio and Blenore followed by Mark Stock- 
well, Jr., and his wife. Aunt Catherine's face is swollen 
with passion. Blenore rushes to embrace her father 
but he pushes her rudely aside. 

Sen. S. Leave my sight! Deceitful wretch! 

Cath. And so say I, my only brother! 

Blen. My dearest father, I love you more than ever. 

Cath. Deceitful wretch ! I told you so, my brother. 

Blen. I seek not your fortune. I've chosen mine! 
But I do humbly crave my father's blessing. 
I am the victim of a love like that 
You bore towards my dear angel mother. 
I wrestled with this angel love, my father. 
Yea for your sake ! For I would stay with you 
And be to you a comfort in your age. 
But he conquered, dear father, let me 
Present to you Horatio, my husband ! 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 209 

Sett. S. Leave my sight ! Deceitful wretch ! 

Cath. And so say I, my only brother. 

Mien. Call me not deceitful, dearest father. 
I've been to you honest and dutiful 
And true as Heaven, which gives me present 

breath. 
All my effects are ready for the voyage; 
May I remove them to our humble home? 

Se7i. S. Take them from my sight. 

Cath. And so say I, my only brother. 

Blen. Farewell forever, my dear father, and blot me 
from your memory. I'll leave my effects be- 
hind. I can work for a living. 

Sen. S. Your father's proud spirit with your mother's 
virtue, Elenore. I cannot bid you go. My 
being recoils. Alone am I in this unfeeling 
world. 

Blen. Oh, say not so, my father ! I love you still. 
Though all the world you scorn, I am still 
Your loving daughter. I love you more ! 

Cath. Let her go, dear brother ; she is an ingrate. 

Sen. S. Peace, deceitful sister! Elenore! Let Mill- 
ford depart. 

Blen, My soul is pledged in Heaven to him. I shall 
never preach religion and practise deceit. 

Sen. S. The abyss cannot be bridged. 

Blen. Love doth unite the Universe, dear father, 



2IO ELENORE 

Together with all her contrary elements. 
Thy abyss is not as broad's the Universe. 
It's but a shallow streamlet in your nature. 

Sen. S. Forgive me, my sweet daughter. 

Blen. Dear father, you have naught to be forgiven ; 
Anon I need to ask forgiveness myself. 
Dear father, let me plead for your own son, 
My only brother, and his loving wife, 
And for Horatio. We all love you. 
Make my brother equal with me, dear father. 
We are all one flesh and blood. 

Sen. S. A father's blessing rest upon you all, for I feel 
happy now. 

Blen. Darling father, I'm your devoted daughter. 

Sen. S. "Love's Conquest." 

Father and daughter embrace each other. 

Cath. I bid you all adieu, I'm a duchess. Duke de 
Portofino and I are married. 

Duke de Portofino enters and embraces Catherine. 

Duke. I am thy Paris ; thou my Helen ! Our sacred 
dust shall yet adorn the Pantheon. 

The Duke lifts Catherine in his arms and carries 
her off. 

Mich. I'm going to stay in dear America ; marry my 
Rosie, follow politics and sit on the fence 
with political crooks, and lay snares to catch 
the flying gold-dust. I shall direct and control 
the destinies of governments, legislatures and 



LOVE'S CONQUEST 211 

individuals, and woe be to him who for the 
sake of scrupulous honesty or principle, shall 
oppose my will; the "Section Boss" and his 
tools shall decapitate him or brand him a 
political criminal and consign him to the 
dungeon of political oblivion. He shall never 
again smell the balmy breath of a legislature, 
and we will point the finger of scorn at him 
as long as he lives. I shall appoint all my 
brothers Deputy Governors in order to op- 
pose and entrap hideous reform in any guise 
or shape, and I shall appoint all my tools on 
State and municipal commissions, and the 
State shall pay them. All my sons and grand- 
sons shall sit beside me and protect and de- 
fend my record and reputation ; and we shall 
enjoy the revenue — "blood is thicker than 
water." The common people are entitled to 
nothing except to be taxed. Behold! A 
greater than Napoleon is here. 



CURTAIN. 



DEC 17 fSti 



